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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Something seriously weird is going on. Shouldn't my boss stand up for me?

66 replies

baraahp24 · 10/04/2024 05:15

I have written about this in the past but wanted to give a summing up of the situation as it is now and see what other people think is really going on here. It's quite a saga but I'll try to be brief. Thanks in advance to those who bear with me.

I started a job last year in which I inherited a toxic (but temporary) employee A. A was truly awful off the bat, especially after I uncovered her timesheet fraud which, despite the glaring evidence, upper management ended up paying out until her contract ended after an alleged investigation I wasn't privy to indicated as such. No explanation to me as to why.

I also work with employee B who started not long before I did. B and I hit it off from the outset (or so I thought), even though we shared different views of our mutual boss C. This difference of opinion rapidly became a point of contention for her and she became increasingly combative towards him (others also but mostly him, and publicly). I kept it professional and continued on in my work. However, her contempt spread to target other employees, and even included bullying employees from other sections to the point of tears. She also became more and more secretive about her work and whereabouts, and stopped attending meetings. She effectively isolated herself from the entire team and we've all been baffled as to how it had come to this. Any time she was actually in the office the entire atmosphere changed.

Somewhere along the line A and B joined forces in an effort to topple a common enemy - C. I have become collateral damage in this as I have no choice but to try to work with B given the nature of my job. I don't want to go into detail but my team is supposed to provide a service to hers. But she has isolated herself from me, and made huge mistakes (either deliberately or incompetence) which has caused huge repercussions for our organisation - both operationally, and externally as in how we are perceived. Not to mention the toll it is taking on staff morale. This obviously shines a spotlight on me not doing a very good job, even though I have not been given a chance.

C knows all this has gone on. The entire team does. Yet, no one is stopping her from her increasingly vicious attacks on me every time I try to mitigate the risks she is creating for us, which is my job. She has been shown to be colluding with B to cause problems and accusing me of all kinds of things. She has slandered C in the most terrible ways also and I feel bad for him, but I'm also wondering at what point is someone going to step in and stop her from her attacks on me? A group of us have lodged statements about B's behaviour. Everyone knows she needs to go and I and other staff know we will need to leave if she isn't fired because it's like she WANTS to blow the place up. There is no future with her there. I keep getting told upper management is aware of everything and all our statements are being processed and investigated, yet there is no timeline on this and I am continually bearing the brunt of her attacks and feel extremely unsupported. And given employee A was shown to have committed serious fraud and got off scott free I'm seriously wondering whether anything will be done about B.

I should also mention that the only person B talks to now is C's deputy (D) who has taken over temporarily as her line manager as she refuses to work for C. However, D behaves very differently when C is not at work. Besides ordering me to sweep A's fraudulent timesheets under the rug, he also defends B who is known to be the problem here. To the point where he has become incredibly rude to me and I've had to seriously push back. So I feel like I'm being attacked by both, yet no one is standing up for me. This clearly gives her more fuel to ramp up the attacks and continue to drag my name through the mud.

AIBU to say WTAF? What is actually going on here? I have asked both my boss and hers to intervene but remain the whipping boy.

OP posts:
allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 10/04/2024 17:12

@baraahp24 get yourself a new job, set a start date and say you are leaving at 5pm on the friday to start your new job on the following monday!! if that company has an HR department then they should all be on the chopping block! have you spoken to the overall manager of the whole company? do they know what is going on or is everyone really just afraid for their jobs??? i would tell them to fuck off and play their games with someone else! incidentally, what kind of business is this??

timenowplease · 10/04/2024 17:13

They're all related? That explains everything.

You're whistle blower who's now being bullied - might be worth talking to someone about it.

MsLuxLisbon · 10/04/2024 17:16

timenowplease · 10/04/2024 17:13

They're all related? That explains everything.

You're whistle blower who's now being bullied - might be worth talking to someone about it.

I read that as the issues are all related, not the people.

timenowplease · 10/04/2024 17:21

MsLuxLisbon · 10/04/2024 17:16

I read that as the issues are all related, not the people.

Ah, ok. The story would suddenly make a lot more sense if they were somehow blood relatives. Otherwise I can't imagine how this level of fraud and fuckery can go on with the management's knowledge.

Ilovelurchers · 10/04/2024 17:28

Bloody Hell OP - you poor thing - I felt exhausted just reading that, let alone living it! You need to get out. It's not fair, it shouldn't be like this, they shouldn't get away with their immoral/unprofessional behaviour.

BUT, I get the feeling you are holding out for justice, and I truly don't think there is any reason to hope that will happen.

The organisation sounds fucked. How employable are you (if you don't mind me asking?). Are you likely to be able to find a similar role somewhere sane?

Because it might even be worth a pay cut, if you can still get by, to be rid of this shit-show you currently work for.

Good luck.

kinkyredboots · 10/04/2024 17:36

Situations like this usually mean someone is protecting a decision or person. Toxic situations rarely resolve themselves until the root cause is dealt with.

Honestly I would be looking for another job, this whole situation sounds like a lost cause.

Creamcoconut · 10/04/2024 20:44

Look for a new job

DungballInADress · 11/04/2024 18:07

Not RTFT.

Raise a grievance. A big one. Refer to the grievance procedure in the handbook or policy or if there isn't one available the ACAS code of practice. Quote ACAS in your written grievance.

Clearly mention the bullying, lack of team working, feeling undermined, the fact that seniors are aware of this and are not doing anything to prevent it creating a toxic culture. Put it in writing to the HR department if there is one. If there isn't to your manager. Make it clear this is significantly impacting on you.

DisabledDemon · 11/04/2024 18:29

My DH had a boss who left and he was replaced by a woman who had no experience. This undoubtedly contributed to her insecurities and she turned out to be a liability. After a year, she was managed out but her destructive (and often spiteful) shenanigans took a real toll on his mental health.

He survived her but if I ever meet her, I will dropkick her cunt into hell for what she put him (and me) through.

Harleyband · 11/04/2024 19:54

I'm glad you're planning on getting out. As incredible as it seems, nothing is going to change. If upper management planned on doing anything they'd have done it by now.

Hmm1234 · 11/04/2024 21:23

My thoughts are that she has a protected characteristic or special relationship with someone higher up. Can you move to another department and not have to work with her again

Toptops · 11/04/2024 23:02

Leave.

Primmyhill · 12/04/2024 07:52

You seem to have a weak senior management team who are too scared to make a decision to get rid of her because she sounds the type that wouldn’t go easily or could cause them problems. Seen it a few times where one or two bad eggs seem to rule the place and get away with it. I’d move on and would tell them exactly why I’m leaving.

Knowlewoman · 12/04/2024 10:48

I've experienced something similar and it's never good: fundamentally, this is a toxic workplace that will take a board-approved, single-tasked, high-ranking manager about three years to turn around using change-management skills. Not everyone in the department will survive it and it'll be unsettling in its duration.

Unless you are committed to this job or organisation, definitely leave as soon as you can. A new employer is unlikely to want to know why you left (and at interview, obviously you should concentrate on what you can offer to your new job, etc). You can take your time in coming up with a realistic excuse, should anyone really want to know, perhaps along the lines of, " ... they were restructuring, and in all honesty, it was really quite disruptive ... I'm sure in a year's time it'll all be fine but I found it difficult to give my best during it ... ".

All the v best with it!

Jojofjo44 · 12/04/2024 15:37

It's time to leave. You're being set up as the scapegoat for sure. You can explain your short service by explaining that you almost immediately felt like the company was a bad fit for you, but you persevered in the role in order to fulfil the obligation to the manager who hired you for a minimum term.

Lolaandbehold · 12/04/2024 16:45

This is surely public sector - this would never happen if were a private firm - they'd all be let go. B refusing to work for C? Here's your P45.

Why the public sector get away with wasting tax payers' money and participating in this sort of behaviour is staggering.

Anyway OP, get yourself out of there. You can explain only being in the role 6 months easily - employers appreciate honesty.

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