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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is 2.5hrs+ of travel excessive expectation?

105 replies

ChildcareQ · 09/04/2024 22:57

GPs live ~40 mins away.

They occasionally help out with odd day here and there of school holiday childcare.

Usually travelling to the family home and looking after children in their own home (so approx 80 mins travelling).

One parent WFH and has expressed this situation does not work for them. It's too disruptive. They want GP to look after children in their home. This was raised day before childcare had been arranged for, no time to rearrange/make alternative arrangements.

At short notice other parent arranged to drop DC off at GP house in the morning before work. Not ideal as GP house is 40 mins in wrong direction for work. Will make parent "late" for work (not an issue, parent works flexi). GPs will bring children home at the end of the day.

WFH parent is now incredulous and thinks this is unreasonable. GPs should pick up children and drop them back - so over 2.5hrs of travelling.

Other GP with a similar arrangement will drop and collect, but they live 20 mins away. Is WFH parent unreasonable to expect the same of other GP who live further away?

Before anyone says it, other parent is now planning to use holiday clubs in future for the odd days that GPs would usually help out. Not worth the hassle (although children will miss out on GP time and be sad as they would prefer to be looked after by GP).

Other parent does not think WFH parent is being unreasonable to find WFH with children and GP in home difficult. However expecting GPs to provide childcare, plus travelling 2.5hrs seems unreasonable.

OP posts:
Talipesmum · 10/04/2024 23:24

Yes, your summary is good, 2.5 hours travel a day for GPs isn’t reasonable.

I do think it would be worth re looking at the working back in the office thing. Is it that you live hours away from the office now? Not having a permanent desk is pretty common now - same at my work - and those comments are ones we would all be giving when we had got very used to WFH over Covid. Took a while for us to be comfortable really mixing between the two, dealing with hot desks etc. But we have two screens / wide screens at our office desks, it’s easy to take in additional peripherals (ergo mouse, keyboard etc) if you’ve got specialist ones. And in the holidays in particular the office is bound to be quieter with people taking leave, so it would be easier to get a hotdesk.

I would challenge a bit on that again if possible. It’s so easy to get really out of the habit of going into the office for no real good reason (I know that plenty of people do have good reason, I’m saying that as someone who can work just fine in either place but got over comfortable at home and reluctant to go back in).

And in the holidays with kids about on their holiday - it’s not really reasonable to expect a quiet workplace in the same way as a school day. Sure people can help a bit, but it needs a bit of flex from WFH as well. It’s not really ok to expect a 2.5 hours per day commute from GPs to enable a 0 hours per day commute yourself.

saraclara · 10/04/2024 23:25

Can you or your DH not do the 'meeting half way' changeover that I posted that I do when I have my DGCs?

ChildcareQ · 11/04/2024 07:47

Talipesmum · 10/04/2024 23:24

Yes, your summary is good, 2.5 hours travel a day for GPs isn’t reasonable.

I do think it would be worth re looking at the working back in the office thing. Is it that you live hours away from the office now? Not having a permanent desk is pretty common now - same at my work - and those comments are ones we would all be giving when we had got very used to WFH over Covid. Took a while for us to be comfortable really mixing between the two, dealing with hot desks etc. But we have two screens / wide screens at our office desks, it’s easy to take in additional peripherals (ergo mouse, keyboard etc) if you’ve got specialist ones. And in the holidays in particular the office is bound to be quieter with people taking leave, so it would be easier to get a hotdesk.

I would challenge a bit on that again if possible. It’s so easy to get really out of the habit of going into the office for no real good reason (I know that plenty of people do have good reason, I’m saying that as someone who can work just fine in either place but got over comfortable at home and reluctant to go back in).

And in the holidays with kids about on their holiday - it’s not really reasonable to expect a quiet workplace in the same way as a school day. Sure people can help a bit, but it needs a bit of flex from WFH as well. It’s not really ok to expect a 2.5 hours per day commute from GPs to enable a 0 hours per day commute yourself.

Edited

His job contract is 100% remote so I'm not even sure he's allowed to go into the office, IYSWIM? I'll ask a bit more about it. It's an hour away too, so I suspect he wouldn't be keen. 🙄

OP posts:
ChildcareQ · 11/04/2024 07:49

saraclara · 10/04/2024 23:25

Can you or your DH not do the 'meeting half way' changeover that I posted that I do when I have my DGCs?

Yes, this could potentially work. Sorry I wasn't ignoring suggestions, just a lot of posts to read and take in. I'll need to discuss it again with all concerned at some point and see if we can reach an agreement.

OP posts:
NewName24 · 11/04/2024 22:35

It's an hour away too, so I suspect he wouldn't be keen.

Right, so, to be clear he isn't keen to travel an hour, twice a day, but wants to demand the Grandparents to travel 40 minutes, four times a day so they can do him a favour by looking after his children Hmm

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