To decline weighing

[diiidum]

I’ve just had my booking appt for my first pregnancy and I declined to be weighed and measured height wise. I am a healthy weight and size 10 and have an active lifestyle but don’t believe BMI is particularly useful. My sister was weighed and developed a bit of an obsession with the number on the scale and still has it to this day.

I came to this conclusion after research. Sara Wickham did a post about it recently on instagram, saying even if you had a ‘high BMI’ risk doesn’t usually change. At my appointment they were remarking on how low risk I was until that point but they said they will have to ask the consultant if they are happy for me not to be weighed, otherwise I’ll be high risk and might not get to birth where I would like.

WIBU here? If it’s a big deal I can always get weighed at the next appointment, that’s what I thought to myself. In the end they asked me to let them know what I was when I last weighed myself and then said I looked about that now, but they will note all that down and that I declined being weighed today.

I don’t want to be misinformed so doing lots of research on everything relating to pregnancy really, and reading all the books and internet sources I can.

Was I wrong to decline? Is there benefit to them working out BMI?

Can you not just not look/ask not to be told? There's no issue at all in not wanting to know but weight is an important metric for your healthcare providers during pregnancy, as others have said in case you did need drugs later down the line.
I know this will not impact you as you've said you are a healthy weight, but the NIPT testing can be less accurate for those with higher BMIs and that's something it's important to be counselled on before having it done if that was to be a potential factor that could reduce efficacy- like I said I know that likely won't be an issue for you, but nonetheless is important for your healthcare provider to know.

If you’re ever making your decision based on an Instagram post something has already gone wrong.

YABU. It’s about baby not you, you don’t have to agree with the whole concept of BMI but it is the tool currently used to help the health professionals do their job. Which is looking after you and baby.

Not going to jump in as I see you’ve already conceded to be weighed- was just going to say, if you think think you’re going to fixate on the number, just ask them to weigh you and not tell you the result. They can just add it your notes and you don’t have to read it.

Stop reading all those Internet sources and following Instagrammers and just listen to the professionals.

I was going to say the same. I have real emotional issues around my weight for many years and when I was asked at booking to be weighed I recall just grimacing and the MW quickly said; 'We won't tell you what you weigh if you prefer'. That was fine for me.

YANBU. I’ve always been very triggered by my weight and it was a big fear of mine to be weighed at pregnancy booking in appt/throughout pregnancy. I told midwife at booking in appt that she was welcome to weigh me, but I wouldn’t be looking at the scales and I did not want her to tell me what I weighed or comment on it. She was absolutely fine with that - really lovely actually - and so weighed me in silence and put it in my notes, but I didn’t look at it. She was lovely and put no pressure on me at all. The only thing she said was weight was initially a deciding factor on whether you need a gestational diabetes test but that often if the test is needed other symptoms show up anyway by then. I didn’t end up needing it till 34 weeks when I developed polyhydramnios, which had nothing to do with my weight anyway (and test was negative). I never once was weighed at any other point throughout pregnancy that I can remember and it wasn’t because I declined, they didn’t ask.

edited to add - they actually weighed me at my pre-op for my c-section. Obviously to help with dosage for medication etc. but that was the first time since my booking in appt.

YANBU I have never been weighed in pregnancy. It's irrelevant whether the Consultant is "happy" or not regarding this, as their job is not to dictate to you. All aspects of maternity care in the UK is optional, nothing is mandatory, and you have every right to decline any procedure you do not want. I'm glad you are reading Sara Wickham, she is one of the best to follow for advice.

Do not feel obliged to be weighed or accept advice just because so many commenters on here just do as they're told and question nothing.

@diiidum Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!

If you are worried about this then just agree to be weighed and ask the MW not to tell you what the weight is.

I declined. There’s absolutely no safety reason to support weighing in pregnancy.

Op has already decided to be weighed. What a fuss over nothing.

The stats I quote there are from NHS maternity statistics. So from the horses mouth so to speak. I have an allied health science degree so I do understand how to read research also.

I don't believe the problem is women and too fat and too old to give birth safely now.

I always try and imagine I was having a conversation with a friend when I type on the internet but I have to say I am finding this thread utterly depressing at how gaslit so many women are that "the system" has its best interests at heart. The figures about what happens to women and babies in birth, and levels of birth trauma, just don't stack up to show that this is true.

We just simply wouldn't exist as the human race if we were really as incapable of giving birth as the stats show. The problem is the system is shit, full of fear, and based on a premise that women's bodies don't work. They do.

I birthed the system's way once - I ended up with an induction, forceps, an episiotomy that tore into a third degree tear and a postpartum haemorrhage. Not that surprising really when you look at the facts of what happens to first time mums. This was to avoid my baby having "shoulder dystocia". I birthed my second two alone at home. The concept that my baby was less likely to get stuck with my being laid flat on my back, exhausted, off my face on drugs, with a pair of salad servers round his head verses the absolutely mind blowingly powerful 2 contractions that pushed each of my daughters into this world is simply laughable.

Anyway, everyone must find their own path and that's ok. But don't believe that it's cos mums are old and fat now that you have a 39% chance of birthing a baby without instruments or major abdominal surgery, if you wanted to birth vaginally (so that's taking planned caesareans out of it).

Can I ask if women’s bodies work so well, why was childbirth so dangerous years ago?
I do believe in reading and doing your own research.

Childbirth was so dangerous because the vast majority of women died of infection and haemorrhage, both now thankfully extremely rare for a woman birthing in the UK. Plus eclampsia which has been screened for decades.

The maternal death rate has risen according to latest figures (even removing the effect of COVID), so all this rise in interventions is not improving safety for women.

I'm not saying there is never a place for medical intervention, of course there is. But those levels of intervention are staggering, rising, and I am uncomfortable with people having a pop at the OP for not wanting to be weighed because the "professionals know best".

I didn't know they weighed you... didn't weigh me during both of my pregnancies - I think they asked me my weight before my C-section maybe

in the uk you only get weighed twice so not something you would or need to obsess about. Booking and then at 36 weeks from what I remember. I’m a healthy BMI and just said when I was getting weighed at 36 weeks that I didn’t want to know what my weight was as was feeling a bit down about appearance etc so thought it would make me feel worse x

Speaking as a midwife thank you for this sensible and truthful post.

A good reason to know your weight at the start of pregnancy is, if you are very sick in the first trimester you can measure if you are losing too much weight. I'm signed off sick with hyperemesis gravidarum at the moment and I have lost a considerable amount of weight, which isn't ideal for a pregnancy when you don't have much to lose to begin with. It isn't just about BMI.

I got weighed at the 12 week scan today. I think different hospital trusts are different.

if you think it will adversely affect your mental health ask to be blind weighed

I don’t disagree with any of this, and I have had home births and think they are great for low risk pregnancies.

I am curious what you mean by having done your home births “alone”?

Meh slow news day really if this is the kind of think that phases you :

Ah yes so did I actually. Forgot about that one ha 🤦🏼‍♀️

@schoollane - totally agree. So much stuff is systemic, stressful and unnecessary and based on fear not facts. This week a younger friend was pressured into induction because they claimed baby was 9 lb 10. Induction failed, as so many do, traumatic labour followed by EMCS. Baby was 8lbs. I had all three of mine at home - first with lovely GP in attendance. I wasn’t ‘allowed’ a waterbirth as my trust did train midwives so was hauled out of it for third stage and had a tear, I was lucky as was a straightforward birth. Had independent midwives for 2 and 3 and the difference was enormous. No hospital visits at all apart from scans, no internal exams, no pressure to induce with DS 3 who went to 42 and 4 days. Just careful, focused care.p and two water births with no tearing.

It's for the good of your baby, not to judge you. Just get weighed.