To decline weighing

[diiidum]

I’ve just had my booking appt for my first pregnancy and I declined to be weighed and measured height wise. I am a healthy weight and size 10 and have an active lifestyle but don’t believe BMI is particularly useful. My sister was weighed and developed a bit of an obsession with the number on the scale and still has it to this day.

I came to this conclusion after research. Sara Wickham did a post about it recently on instagram, saying even if you had a ‘high BMI’ risk doesn’t usually change. At my appointment they were remarking on how low risk I was until that point but they said they will have to ask the consultant if they are happy for me not to be weighed, otherwise I’ll be high risk and might not get to birth where I would like.

WIBU here? If it’s a big deal I can always get weighed at the next appointment, that’s what I thought to myself. In the end they asked me to let them know what I was when I last weighed myself and then said I looked about that now, but they will note all that down and that I declined being weighed today.

I don’t want to be misinformed so doing lots of research on everything relating to pregnancy really, and reading all the books and internet sources I can.

Was I wrong to decline? Is there benefit to them working out BMI?

I echo PPs about asking not to be told your weight/BMI. That’s what my best friend did who has a history of ED.

this is the most sensible way to go

Its not about how much you weigh now, or if you're overweight, its about all the other things such as if you lose/gain weight suddenly, then they know how much you lost/gained

I’m a recovered anorexic and even I didn’t refuse to weighed during pregnancy. You’re making a human, they are just trying to help.

Just like Constance Marten?

We have a system, which yes, is flawed in many respects, but which usually ends up with the outcome all pregnant women want, which is a live, healthy baby. Not taking advantage of the system must seem crazy to women in countries where it is not available at all to most women, or only available to those with the means to pay for it. A bit like vaccination I suppose, it is only when you are faced with the horror that is a severe case of measles, or the effects of rubella, ( or polio or smallpox before those killer diseases were largely eliminated by vaccination, irony alert ) that you realise how protected as a society we are from many of the pitfalls that pregnancy and birth put in the way of many women and children on the planet.

If you’re worried about becoming obsessed with the number OP you can always just say you don’t want to know. In my experience you actually don’t get weighed often through pregnancy anyway, I’m 39 weeks pregnant now and was only weighed at my booking appointment, my dating scan (for the combined screening) and then at my 34 week appointment so it’s not every time you go & I just said I didn’t want to know at my 34 week appointment and that was fine they just weighed me and thanks to my bump I couldn’t see the scales anyway😂x

It isn't to judge your BMI

They need a baseline weight and subsequent ones to check for pre-eclampsia

I see you've changed your mind, but I don't think you were being unreasonable to decline to be weighed. I see people have given all sorts of reasons why it's vitally important but I was never weighed once during either of my pregnancies (not in UK). It was never mentioned and never requested. Seems odd that it is considered so important in the UK but not an issue elsewhere.

Just repeating this for the people patronising you.

Yes, BMI hasn’t been considered fit for purpose for a long time.

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/265215#Authorities-still-promote-BMI

https://www.stylist.co.uk/fitness-health/wellbeing/bmi-this-podcast-exposes-the-history-of-bmi-and-why-its-really-not-fit-for-purpose/551806

https://www.sciencefocus.com/comment/bmi-we-know-its-flawed-so-why-do-we-still-use-it

There’s countless articles on the issues with BMI from all sorts of individuals and organisations. IMO BMI, should be taken with a pinch of salt.

Not going to join in on the pile on but just say to your midwife that you don't want to know how much you weigh and stand on the scale backwards. Thats what I did!

For what its worth, I was only weighed during my booking in appointment 😊 my weight was never discussed again!

My kids are 10 months and 2 so it was semi-recently xx

I have an anorexic DD, and I know how damaging an obsession with BMI can be. Having said that, if this is going to stop you getting the care you want, I'd suggest you say you want to be 'blond weighed' - you can stand on the scale backwards and they simply record your weight in your notes.

Ah. Cross-posted with @iLovee

I had hyperemesis while pregnant. My weight plummeted as I couldn't even keep water down and ended up hospitalised. My BMI obviously plummeted to borderline underweight. At one early check, I was told "oh great, your weight looks fine".
What I'm trying to say is, just do it but it isn't magic and doesn't tell the whole story.

I have been weighed each time, I think it is important for my monitoring but I choose not to know or weigh myself at home as I put on half my body weight again last time and knowing just how big I got (I am usually a 4ft 11 size 6 petite person!) I didn't want to be obsessed with it at home and cause myself any unnecessary stress!

I was going to say that they have to weigh you for the chromosome screening if you want it (offered at 12 week scan). But I think they use your weight for that, not your BMI. You could just not look at the scales if you prefer? I didn't look, not on purpose, I was just chatting to the midwife.

You sound difficult. Let the professionals do their job without all the fuss.

Like the NHS staff don't have enough to deal with without your unnecessary dramatics 🙄

I wasn’t weighed at all during my pregnancy.

Fair play to you OP. I love an OP who asks a question then re-evaluates their position.

My kids are adults now and even though I thought I was always a chilled and relaxed Mum I look back over things and can see I was a bit uptight about things that I would not bother about now that I'm older and wiser.

One of the best things you can do for your kids is to enjoy being a Mum. (I understand that's Not always possible but you can try)

You're already anxious like your sister was or this wouldn't even be a 'thing' for you.

Your weight is just your weight, the same as your feet are just your feet.

Thank you. I’ve got a lot to learn, this site is useful sometimes - particularly the constructive comments though, not the unkind ones

I’m sure none of them will lose sleep over it.

BMI is outdated, but that doesn't mean it has absolutely no correlation with risk. Better to know in advance whether you're at increased risk of shoulder dystocia for example (as that would make a home birth more risky).

You could get them to weigh you and not tell you the number? If your BMI is fine then great. If it's high then they don't need to tell you that number either, but can still counsel you about risk.

Your weight is just your weight, the same as your feet are just your feet.

Kind of…except you can’t change your shoe size, and there isn’t the same kind of angst about being a size 7, rather than a size 5!

If you’re worried about getting obsessed with the number, just tell them you’re happy to be weighed but that you would rather not know your weight so you’ll look away when you’re being weighed and ask them not to show you the figure.