Lazy feckless leeching relatives. Sound familiar?

[Ilovecleaning]

As the title says. Bone-idle, irresponsible and entitled adult couple (40/50)…
Examples:

• in bed until midday
• live on benefits, have done for years
• constantly leech off friends and relatives
• will text/ask unbelievable requests such as Have you got any mugs, we’ve only got one left/have you got a couple of tea towels to spare/have you got any a few knives and forks, we don’t know where our have gone?
• Even holidays: We heard you have booked a cottage/caravan in X. We’ve got a good idea - we can visit you for a few days
• they attend all family meals, never reciprocate, always come empty- handed

This is a select few examples. There are dozens more. Some far worse. I used to help out but I gave up a few years ago when I realised I was simply seen as part of their support group and regarded as one of their ‘providers’. I am now NC except for family gatherings. I refuse to be one of their providers. I cannot believe people live like this and are so ungrateful and entitled. Anyone else have shameless, freeloading relatives?

If you don't like them and every contact leads to more judgement isn't it time to block and go completely no contact? The relationship isn't doing any of you any good. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I've done this before and I'm glad I did saves some headspace for better things. 😉

😂😂

I have an aunt and uncle (although he died) like this. Leeched all their lives off everyone. So many stories. So so many. Could not even begin to go through them all- although one low point was when my mother (who is a bloody handmaiden to her sister) came back from a holiday abroad 3 days early because she was a nurse and uncle had a heart attack and my aunt thought my mother could help her make sense of all the medical speak. My mother walked into the ward and my aunt said; 'Now you are fucking here at last the least you can do is buy me a dinner'.

Even that has sadly not make the scales fall from my mother's eyes as she is hardwired to be a people pleaser.

I have some relatives who think I am loaded and believe they are more deserving of my money than I am.

They are wrong on both counts and I give them nothing. Needless to say I don't see them much.

Not much more excitement to the story than that. The world is full of takers and they make a career out of finding the givers.

I danno, some people are like that otherwise we wouldn’t have convictions for benefits fraud. OP’s allowed to moan about people trying to sponge off her. I’d find it annoying. I have someone in my family who was on benefits off and on, genuinely sick and they never behaved in an entitled way.

There are loads of people living off benefits who don’t behave like your relatives. There are loads of people with good incomes who are stingy freeloaders with their relatives (just check out the threads here about cheeky fuckers…).

And yes, there are plenty of people “sick” due to morbid obesity and all of the conditions that follow. I’ve seen morbid obesity on a medical certificate in the past more than once. (work in this field). What do you expect DWP to do? Make a lifestyle judgement and not pay them as “unworthy” of the money?

Furthermore, any time there is any attempt to revise benefit regulations to target help to the sick who need it and exclude those who are swinging the leg campaign groups wheel out a horde of folk in wheelchairs (they’ve frightened the shit out of) to protest when no-one is targeting that group. Anyone can end up needing help from the benefit system - even smug snobby gits, and some people will always find a way to manipulate the system - it’s just people.

Just don’t accommodate your freeloading relatives. Simple.

I worked giving Benefit Advice, I felt the vast majority of people were genuine and many could have probably applied for benefits much earlier.
That said, there were some people who were dishonest and often aggressive.

My father’s side of the family is like this. Always asking for handouts which have been ignored by myself and my siblings once we realised this was going to be a lifelong commitment. My mother’s side is the exact opposite - working class, hard working and definitely not shirkers.

Have you ever been inside their home? I suspect there is probably something going on with them that goes beyond laziness/fecklessness. It's not normal for an adult couple to lose all their knives and forks, for example. To me, it sounds more like they lack the mental capacity, for whatever reason, to live like fully functional adults. I'm not saying they aren't also lazy, but it sounds to me as if there's some additional issues going on. That doesn't make it any less annoying, though, and it doesn't make the scrounging off family acceptable.

The benefits and the sleeping in until noon is, I would say, one to file under 'none of your business'. But obviously don't keep giving them random spoons and letting them come to your caravan!

I don't have any relatives like this (I'm pleased to say) but I did used to know someone - a friend of a friend, really - who reminded me of this type of person. Her and her husband just seemed completely incapable of managing their daily lives, or of thinking through the consequences of their actions/inactions. Academically they were both intelligent people, but their house was squalid, neither of them could keep a job, they constantly made stupid choices and would keep being bailed out by friends and family - for example, people would go round and help them sort out the disgusting state of their house so that they could 'keep on top of it' and they would immediately let it fall into a tip again. For example, they were given a sofa and within a couple of months it was unusable because it was drenched in cat pee from cats that weren't even theirs, because they kept letting their neighbours cats in and feeding them.

This the funniest thing I've seen for a while..

Wasn't long till all the 'How can you have that opinion!' posts came! On mn not a single person is ever just lazy and entitled, or shock over weight because of lifestyle choices.
Every single person is helpless and has absolutely no choice in how they live at all. It's sad because those who really are in need get pushed further down the queue. Look at the threads re dla wait times!

Mine just phoned and asked me to pick her dc up and have him overnight. 🙄

Nonsense@WhereIsBebèsChambre . Posters are just pointing out that people do not always have the full story, about other people, even their own family members. And what has DLA wait times got to do with any of this? That is down to the mismanagement of the Government.

Not nonsense in my opinion. As soon as anyone posts in frustration about a family member they're shouted down.

And re dla wait times, the example above re someone claiming claiming for physical needs but is active enough to physical care for and ride a horse.

I agree but would have put it more politely.

Omg that’s terrible. Far worse than my own post. I shudder to think of the other awful stories concerning your aunt.

And nobody claiming for DLA is active, I take it then?

Hope you said no

Why? Do you think that would make them suddenly see things differently? You can word things how you please, and I will do the same, thank you!

@LadyKenya there's a massive difference to being active and claiming you can't walk more than a short distance yet mucking out a horse once a day and riding it nearly every day of the week!!
I know this person and they do not need a stick, they lie and say there kids help them wash them and cook for them when they don't do anything of the sort.

Not all disabling health conditions are physical, you know.

I DON’T give them random spoons or let them come to my caravan. At the end of my post I said I stopped helping years ago. However, some people do miss phrases or sentences in posts so that they get the wrong end of the stick. 😊
Your friend of a friend and the cat pee soaked sofa sounds awful!

@MeMyCatsAndMyBooks As I said in my pp, there are people who have conditions that are variable. I do not know your relative, but my point is that someone who could do xyz one day, could be completely immobilised another day. They are not necessarily committing benefit fraud.

Then why does he take a walking stick to assessments?