To wonder when children are pretty much all reliably toilet trained?

[Ducklingsandchicks]

I know some with severe SEN might never be but most children, NT and SEN but in the higher functioning category?

I am losing the will 😂😂 boy who is 3 years 4 months.

Just adding we’ve tried the obvious routes like ERIC website HV etc.

I’m a primary school teacher.

The answer to your question is Year 1 (age 5 & 6).

In a reception class (of 4 & 5 year olds) you’ll probably get an average of 1-2 pairs of wet pants each day. By year 1 wetting accidents happen rarely for most children and you might go a whole month, or longer, with none. That said, if you are taking Year 1 (or Year 2) on a school trip you ALWAYS take spare clothes.

There's such a huge range, especially if you include overnight.

Our youngest was definitely still having plenty of accidents at that age, often one a day at nursery. A few months on and she's fine now.

Night wetting can be a different story too and can take longer even when daytime is ok.

Depends on your definition of reliable - mine was much nearer 4 when he was able to take himself off to the toilet (if we were at someone’s house) or ask someone to take him (if we were out). At 3.4 we were very inconsistent.

It really depends and remember daytime is completely different to nighttime.

Just focusing on days thanks I know night is just completely hormonal so not worried about that.

Thanks @Chocolateroulade only three years to go then 😂

I would say by the time they start reception. My youngest daughter definitely wasn't reliably potty trained by the age of your little one. Oldest daughter was much younger so I thought I was doing great, then I realised it's definitely down to the child and not how "amazing" the parents think they are at training 😅

Yes do you mean overnight or in the day. By reception age i.e. 4.5- 5 I'd say most kids are 90% reliable with reminders but still liable for a few years yet to wet themselves if distracted or in a new place/out of routine (and of course like PP who is a reception teacher says in a class of 30 that's still a lot of accidents esp from the younger end of the spectrum). And also plenty of kids are not totally dry overnight until later i.e. 6-7. Don't know if you wanted reassurance or to be told your boy is unusual but 3.5 is quite normal age to still not quite get it, I would expect in the next year or so it'll click...

DS didn't train until he was 3.5 and he was pretty reliable from then on. Since he turned 4, I think he's had one accident just after starting school (I think because he didn't really understand where the loos were) and we've had one or maybe two occasions where he hasn't gone before leaving school and hasn't been able to hold it in until we get home. There are still a few accidents in his reception class for sure.

I really hope so, we keep preserving but it’s hard not to feel discouraged and frustrated which I know is the worst thing you can do!

This sounds about right to me. DS's reception teacher asks that all children still have a set of spare clothes to keep on their peg at school to allow for accidents and there are regular reminders for people to send in replacements, so my assumption is that they're being used. They don't do this in Y1.

DS was fairly late to train at a similar age to yours, but had been reliably dry ever since.

Daytime 5 years old will be almost reliable (minus the occasional accident, eg. Long car journey or a theme park (one of my DC managed to do both of those in one day going to a theme park at aged 6, but was otherwise trained for 3 years at that point!)
A lot of 4 year olds are almost there, but not reliably. 3 year olds very hit and miss.
Night time 10 year olds, but the occasional accident again, I hear it happens more at cub camp than at home but that might be the ghost stories and excitement!

This is really reassuring. We’ve made progress with wee but none with poo and it’s so stressful!

With my youngest I had to abandon the effort for a few months and one day she just said ‘I need to sit on the potty.’ Didn’t use nappies after that.

You haven’t given me an age though. I have heard of sine children doing this; I’m not sure mine would.

I think it depends on the potty training history children trained by some magical date like 24 months can take a year or more ones trained when they show physical signs can be 3 days.
As a childminder I take 2 3 year olds out rarely use a change the 4 year old I take will go weeks then have an accident 2 days running

When our DC was that age quite a few parents were going for potty training for the first time. We’d been to the US for work and the nursery wanted them trained by 3. To be honest, we had a fair few accidents up until 4. When DC started school, we knew a lot of kids who still had accidents in the reception year.

My two boys have ASD so it’s a bit different.

oldest has normal cognitive and academic ability - refused to train until 3y 9m (we tried twice previously from 3). He decided he could do it and was done in 3 days but poos were tricky in that he found using toilet over potty scary. Still it was fine. He’s wet the bed once and had about 3/4 accidents ever whilst in Reception.

Youngest (6) has severe speech delay and is still in nappies. I’m trying again soon.

Just by my observations most kids were trained between 3&4 reliably.

Mine was pretty hard to train compared to friends' children and we're still having occasional accidents at just turned 5. However, he is normally reliable - it'll just be if he doesn't want to stop playing, or he's unwell/very tired, he might just be a bit wet before getting to the toilet.

We started training at just turned 3 (tried 3 months before that and it was impossible). He took a week to get the idea of taking himself to the potty. He had an accident most days (wee only, poo has always been fine) for about six months, then it started to improve. Much better at nursery than at home, he was dry at nursery most of pre-school. When he started school (at 4.5) he had one accident early on and has been dry since, with very occasional accidents at home/playground if he's too busy to go.

Friends with older children have said 6ish is when they stopped taking spare clothes out with them, which is in line with the primary teacher above.

Yep this. DC1 was potty trained quite easily within a few days at 26 months and had very few accidents after that and she always told us if she needed the potty. DC2 is 30 months and still in nappies and not remotely interested in weeing in the potty. If I take his nappy off him he will just hold his wee for hours and hours until he gets it back. Definitely don't think our success with DC1 was anything we did particularly, just different personality and interests etc in the child.

My youngest is literally just turned 6 and I don't remember the last time she had an accident. Probably around 4? All of mine were very very reliable by starting school though and none have ever had an accident in school. I wouldn't think it would be unusual though.

That said, I've had plenty of accidents as an adult 🤣

Yep. I agree with this. The years I have worked in Year 1 (5 and 6 year olds), we have occasional accidents. In Reception, daily someone doesn't make it or forgets to go without a reminder.

Don't worry OP - the time is very close now.

My son just couldn't get it at two, but suddenly trained 100% at 3 because he was ready. Some of his friends just weren't ready until three and a half or closer to four, but when they got it they got it.

The conclusion I reached is you can work very hard and put up with endless accidents, or you can try a few times and when they are ready you will know because it is easy, and pretty much no accidents.

I've not taken spare clothes out with me since they were about 3 unless I had a specific reason to (going somewhere muddy then going out afterwards). None of my friends with kids have either? I'm a mum of 3 so not inexperienced in that department so I think taking spare clothes out for a 5 year old would be strange.