To wonder when children are pretty much all reliably toilet trained?

[Ducklingsandchicks]

I know some with severe SEN might never be but most children, NT and SEN but in the higher functioning category?

I am losing the will 😂😂 boy who is 3 years 4 months.

You asked when ‘pretty much all children’ are toilet trained and that’s what I answered. Of course, many are reliably trained before Year 1. Of our current reception class of 30, the daily ‘wetters’ are the same 5 or 6 children and the others are reliably trained.

My own children trained about 3. First one ‘got it’ straight away and was dry day and night from about 38m. My youngest was a year later.

DD was trained at 2 but still had accidents at reception age. She also wouldn't poo on the toilet, only in a pull up, until maybe 4.5. She has chronic constipation so 'leaked' a lot until that was under control.
DS trained at 3 and a bit but it took a few goes to get there. Has been pretty reliable but still has accidents occasionally in reception. When he needs to go he can't hold it for long and doesn't always make it on time. We do a lot of bush wees. Poo was fine from the get go with him.
Neither are night dry at 4 and 6 which is my next battle.

My DS trained at 3 years 7 months. He just refused to do it and I was getting really worried about it. Then one day he did it and never looked back - I can’t even remember him having an accident.

my other two were trained by 2.5 but would have had more accidents - one of them had a lot of accidents until she was 5.

DS was 90% there during the day at 3.5, then pretty much reliable at 4. He was 7 before being dry at night though...that was a struggle.

Sorry not to nitpick but I wouldn't say it's completely hormonal. Mine was about 6 before being dry at night but part of it was behavioural ie needed to get into the habit of not going in pullups. But yeah it's far less stress than daytime!

From solid experience, by 6 most are reliably dry during the day and night time. Some children are dry by 3 and never have an accident but I’d say most have the odd accident here and there, usually at night until around 6.

Meh. They're all different, aren't they. I know one of our NCT group's kids still has accidents sometimes, whereas two others are fully dry and have been for a year or more (all born within a month of each other, obvs).

I have two close friends with older children, and they both said they were still having occasional accidents in Reception but not much older. So 6ish.

What age did you toilet train, if not taking clothes out past 3? Mine was only just toilet training then and extremely resistant.

Just to add, I wouldn't take spare clothes for a quick trip out. Only 3-4+ hours out. He can hold it in for hours, which is part of the problem!

I'm a mum of 9 and agree whole heartedly with @Chocolateroulade for NT children and SEN children where toileting isn't a particular issue (I have some ND children) for daytime reliability! My youngest is also 3yrs 4months a DD. She can have days where she's great and days less so!!

I take spare clothes for my youngest whose a similar age to the OP's child. I don't take spare clothes for my nearly 5 year old. Potty training general was hellish but we're in a good place finally. I suspect your son is perfectly within the range of doing OK.

I thanked your post using the thanks button and also thanked you specifically. Both were meant genuinely.

I do not think this is true. Many children will just get it. But some children take a lot of teaching whatever age you start.

Mine is 5,5 and very reliable. He was potty trained late, after several failed attempt, and it took what I thought was aaaageees to understand #2, but we got there in the end. He was quite reliable very quickly after that, at around 4. He's 5,5 now, started school in September last year and never had an accident (there or anywhere else).
At night we literally only had few accidents when he was ill with high temperature, and last time was before Christmas.

DD wet her pants last week. She's 11. Apparently whatever she was watching couldn't be paused and she didn't get to the loo fast enough. She's mortified. 😂She has been reliably toilet trained since 4-5 or thereabouts.

Worth considering if the potty is not your friend. Some kids prefer it and hate the scariness of a flush. Others, with a toilet seat and no risk of imminent flushing death will love the ability to flush away their own output. My kids hated the potty and the smell and squatting on the floor.

We got there through sheer bribery. A wee on the loo produced an episode of something on an iPad. A poo resulted in multiple episodes. TV is also highly distracting - we had the most post toilet training issues when they were engrossed in something on TV and then in some activity at school. They go through a phase of simply not registering the signals.

My boys trained about 2y9m and my daughter trained herself practically at 20m. Boys dry day and night within a month of training. My daughter had the odd accident until 2.5 in the day (once a month-ish) and dry at night at 3.5.

Obviously, rare accidents do happen and if they're still having them at 4, it's not a big deal. Im probably just not very organised compared to people who pack for things like that 🤣

@Stressfordays You must have lucked out with the easy to potty train genetics! We tried at 2y 9m and it was three days of puddles, he wasn't getting it at all. Tried again at 3y with a sticker chart and chocolate as bribery and it worked, though was massively hard work and stressful as he hated being told it was time to go.

He's not dry overnight at 5! It just shows the variation in children. We're starting to get occasional dry nights now but few and far between.

Yeah, likely I just got lucky. I certainly didn't get lucky with the tantrums with dc2+3 though 🤣

Ah see mine's never been too bad with tantrums! 😂

On the other end of the spectrum, mine is 8 and averages 2 accidents at school a week 🙈

By accidents it isn't always a full on change sometimes it's a tinkle stop leg it to the loo to finish off.

Finally, I have a doctors appointment this week after being constantly just referred to the Eric website.

He has a special watch that buzzes to remind him to go to the toilet. Set to school break and lunch times. But he only seems to feel that he needs a wee as he is weeing 😒

But I keep reminding myself you don't see 18 year old wetting themselves.

Interesting. I recently tried to start training my 3 year old and we just refused or screamed when we showed him the potty. He is 3 yrs and 3 months

My own children were trained by two and a half day and night but one regularly had a friend staying at the age of eight who wore a pull up at night.

DD trained by 25 months, day and night & no accidents. Mostly just luck I'd imagine but she was also really keen to get out of nappies & had great speech/communication. Tried her just before her 2nd birthday & although she was keen had a fair few accidents so put it off for an extra month & she cracked it in a day. I think most kids we know are reliably dry by 4.

My daughter almost 5 :( but from day 1 she only had the odd accident ( 1-2 a month) Both my boys about 2 and a half but lots of accidents until 4-5

I really wasn’t meaning to be arsey and I’m sorry if it came over that way.

My update was in reference to you saying ‘just another three years to go’ and my response was meant to indicate that you shouldn’t worry, that will likely not be the case as it’s only about 20% of Reception children that regularly wet.

I hope it goes ok. My eldest potty trained himself in one day. I marvelled at what an amazing parent I was. A foul pls of years later and my youngest pooed his pants several times a day for over a year (I didn’t want to put him back in nappies as he’d mastered wees on the potty).

I have a 2 year old and 3 year old both TT day and night and cannot imagine either of them having an accident

My daughter was fully dry at 3 years. Never had an accident. Was reliably dry at night by 4

My son however….he was nearly 4 before he was reliably dry in the day time and 7 at night