Why shouldn’t life be made easier for pregnant women/mothers?

[Duckwithnobill]

Read quite a few threads here lately that have really shown vitriol towards advancements in working conditions, pay and other adaptations that make life easier for pregnant women and women with young children, which is bizarre to say the least on a parenting forum.

A couple of examples being resentment at the increased ability to work from home or more flexibility from employers around attending meetings/commuting in late pregnancy. I’ve seen women that take advantage of these enhancements be labelled as workshy or as the reason women aren’t respected in the workplace. Full disclosure I am pregnant and my employer has been great at accommodating my pregnancy presumably because they want me to return after maternity leave!

Then there’s the whole debate around P&C parking spaces, where some posters seem genuinely angry that there might be small conveniences put in place to make life a little bit easier for parents.

AIBU to find this attitude quite baffling? Surely improvements to the way pregnant women/mothers are treated can only be a good thing? Or should we all just suffer and struggle?

And she’s still arguing it’s not a leadership problem. I really don’t have anything else to say when it very clearly IS a leadership problem

I was promoted when 7 months pregnant. We had a restructure and I put my name in for a better job which I got because I was the right person. The label essentially had to pretend I wasn’t pregnant - so YOU a may find it unfair but actually to have not employed the right person (me) purely because I was pregnant is discrimination.

I really hope some of you aren’t employers.

Can you give examples?

People keep saying this but all I’ve seen is that a woman attends a midwife appointment on her working day - something she will have no control over and that she is absolutely entitled to do.

It’s both a colleagues problem and a leadership problem. Colleagues are taking the piss, and leadership are doing nothing about it. I gather that @fitzwilliamdarcy did get Christmas off last year after working 8 Christmases on the trot, but the person who was meant to cover phoned in sick, surprise surprise, and pressure was put on fitzwilliamdarcy to go in which she quite rightly refused to do.

I agree and don't know why people pretend otherwise. We've all known them. They piss us off because we ourselves didn't take advantage of the fact that we were pregnant. You get awful, selfish people in every area of life and 'pregnant women' are no exception to that.

And this thread is a fabulous example of that.

I worked with someone who had 3 secondary age children and the amount of time she took off was ridiculous. She was term time only to begin with but was constantly off when one of the children was sick or because she’d caught whatever it was the child had. She was hardly ever there.

However, im mightily pleased that so many MNetters children are going to be the arse wipers of the future and so looking forward to social care being staffed properly.

The NHS is saved...

It's a nonsense argument anyway. No parent chooses to have children for the good of society. They have them because they want to. It is not some altruistic sacrifice.

Yes, I mean someone upthread has already said that women with children are better workers than those without. And childless women are accused of having an agenda. The only agenda we have is not to be treated like second class citizens.

Refusing to travel
Jumping the queue
Parking in the P&C spaces
Expecting a seat on the bus/train at 4 weeks pregnant
Comparing themselves to disabled people

Then there are the annoying baby shower and "push presents" dramas.

I think this thread often veers into mixing up two things, which is whether annoying individuals and shit employers exist (they do) and whether statutory protections and / or workplace adjustments for pregnant women / parents should exist (they should, regardless of whether other protections should also exist).

Double post, annoying.

Threads about Christmas working and the belief by some that parents should be exempt do split Mumsnet. I am one who definitely believes it is a magical time for children.

I don’t necessarily believe their doting parents need to witness the magic every year, especially when others who love them are delighted to fill in. Not being there may be hard on the parent but the DC can have their magic anyhow. We certainly did when necessary. I know DF was sad at missing out a couple of years, especially after the hours he put into constructing elaborate toys from Father Christmas, but he sucked it up as the price of his job.

He wouldn’t have dreamt of not taking his turn on Christmas rota and for that reason I take a dim view of precious parents who need to share the joy of their DC at the expense of their colleagues. The exception is those who really have no one, not even an ex, who can give the DC a good day.

I am all for Scandi levels of support, but not just for mothers and babies. I would extend this to all health and social care. I have said on another recent thread that I would be happy to be taxed accordingly

Do you by some chance mean the women of my age who campaigned for equal pay, pushed for paid maternity leave, campaigned for the rights of new mothers to actually return to work rather than being sacked, introduced the ideas of shared parental leave and are now being blamed for breathing.

I do sometimes wonder why we bothered, since as you say many of us didn’t actually benefit from the improvement in pregnant women’s working conditions and employment rights ourselves, we must have had generous hearts and felt the need to leave the work place in a better state than we found it.

But society needs children to continue. Our pensions, roads, schools, NHS will be funded by future generations and in a world where the COL is rising then yes we should be providing tax breaks/ not penalising (mostly) women for having children.

Would you happily give up your seat for someone who had injured themselves skiing? a dangerous sport and a lifestyle choice - or is it just procreators you save your ire for?

I'm not against these. But I don't think pregnancy should be exception. Like why should pregnant women get to wfh, why not provide this opportunity to others with limiting conditions or potentially everyone. People need flexibility and some of it might be due to pregnancy.

🙄

Try reading the previous comments.

As a "procreator" myself, I am happy for anyone who genuinely needs help to get help. I am not happy for people who think they should get something just because they are pregnant. Those are the people who make things harder for the people who genuinely need help, pregnant or not.

Your argument is illogical

You can't follow a conversation.

Perhaps not yours, no

This discussion about 'people choosing to have children' like it's some weird, niche life choice. It's not. It's normal. It's normal for people to want to make babies, and to raise children and have families. It's core to how we as humans, operate and thrive. And it's also fine for people not to want them.

And as decent humans we should make sure that people have what they need to make life was happy, productive and fulfilling as possible.

And yes there are people who take the piss. And there are many who don't. And as ever it's up to decent companies and managers to set fair policies and to implement them well , which includes dealing with the pisstaking.

I also have an illness that classes as a disability and at times it affects my ability to work fully, but most of the time it doesn't. And it's right and proper that this is accommodated if and when needed.

This is all part of the bigger plan of keeping us minions fighting for scraps against each other, rather than looking up to see the truth that the earth is needlessly being destroyed and that a handful of Kurt rich bastard are exploiting us all.

@viques well obviously I don’t mean you because you’re not resentful of women having all this. There are women in your generation who do seem to though.