You’re indoctrinating your poor kids

[Mmmmarmalade]

A direct quote from DM

we’ve heard similar before

but the context is, we’re going to Walt Disney world. Kids are 5 and 3. we’ve let them pick a special activity to do each. In order to do so we looked through the website and then they picked. They’ve also picked their must ride rides. We’ve found this sort of thing has worked well when we went to DLP and other holidays. When we’ve booked other non theme park hols (canaries and stuff) we show them pics of the beach and kids playground and splash parks etc so they can be excited, sometimes if it’s a choice between 2 in the same price range we let them choose. We’ve also got quite a few Disney books we’ve read, watched some films on my free Disney plus and got some ears and t shirts in preparation for the hols.

We find it’s a nice distraction when one is on the brink of a tantrum. Talking about something that they are looking forward to and will enjoy is enough diffuse any meltdown.

so the kids have made up a game, they’ll call out ‘who’s going on such and such ride’ or who’s going to meet such and such character and whoever says it (calls out me) last has to buy an ice-cream at Disney. To be clear there is no ice-cream debt accumulating, it’s just a fun little thing they play. Well fast forward to this weekend when they tried to play with my mum and she’s given me a dressing down about ‘indoctrinating these poor children’

aibu to think this is a weird dramatic response to kids going on holiday and being excited. I genuinely cant see a problem here. It works well for us, they are happy and feel involved in the holiday planning.

Some people are dead against Disney. I'd just ignore her

She loved it, we went every year as kids, so it’s not that. I think it’s the ‘active’ role the kids are playing In choosing and being excited, but in truth her comment makes 0 sense to me

She sounds like a fun sponge.

I didn't tell the kids until the day we were leaving that we were going to Disney because if I had they would have driven us bonkers and got themselves way overexcited highly strung but if it works for yours do it.

Indoctrinating into what?

Never be concerned about upsetting people who aren't concerned about upsetting you.

Goes for parents too.

Tell her to go tuck herself in to a cosy bed with a warm blanket (words editted by me because it's Sunday and I'm trying to be good)

The thing is though, she's right.. every parent indoctrinates their kids somehow or someway.

Stereotypical examples like:
Boys learning to love Man UTD cause their dad dressed them in UTd kit and took them to the games.
Little girls learning to love make up and shoes and hair because their mum likes that stuff.
Hell, I grew up liking Chas and Dave because me dad did... Gertcha Cowson

She sounds like an utter misery. Ignore her.

I thought this was going to be about Jehovas Witnesses or some other strict religion, not Disney.

This is what I mean?

what, Disney? Erm ok? They liked the characters and books before hence why we went the first time, they loved it so we went back again and then loved it more so booked florida.

but she’s made comments on letting kids chose hotels and stuff I think it’s the letting kids chose things and them having ‘too much power’

I'd ask her if she actually knows what indoctrinating is. It doesn't sound like she does.

but she’s made comments on letting kids chose hotels and stuff I think it’s the letting kids chose things and them having ‘too much power’

Some people are very funny about giving children a say in anything.

Last time we went away DH and I narrowed it down to two hotels. Same cost. One had a second swimming pool outside with a flume and the other had an indoor pool. We let the kids vote on which to go to.
My Aunt acted like we’d offered them the choice between heroin and coke with her reaction.

But then I’m already on a slippery slope as I put the veg bowls on the table at dinner and they choose how much of each to have so I’m already a lazy/permissive parent… 🙄

Does she mean indoctrinating or spoiling? I think she has her words confused.

I am not sure she knows what Indoctrinating means

I am so confused what her issue is.
Presumably you don't let them choose everything in life, you control the situation and offer them choice where possible so I don't understand the issue.

Thankfully our DC thought Disney was generally quite boring (not the theme parks). They quickly picked up on the inappropriateness and similar themes to most of the films and also the implicit racism and othering.

Whilst I think your mother's wrong, I don't think I'd do what you're doing. I'd also wait until the dc were a bit older.

I think once is enough and that there are far better things to garner children's interests: culturally, intellectually, historically and geographically if I'm perfectly honest. It's also a heck of a lot of money to spend again and again.

Are there honestly people that think children should NEVER be given a say or a choice in anything?

Too much choice for children is overwhelming and unsettling but giving them a choice between two things which you have already picked out is positive.

Also, their little game and talking it all through shows how much they get out of it. It gives them a sense of independence which they thrive on.

I’m another one who thinks she just doesn’t know what the word means.

Is she just offended that she hasn't been invited?

Exactly this.

we let them chose some things, for instance they pretty much just wear multi packs so they get to chose the pattern, but it’s in our budget, weather appropriate so tbh, I don’t really care what pattern is on the t shirt or not.

we have non negotiables like brushing teeth and washing hair, dentist every 6 months etc and appropriate clothing for the weather.

when they do have a choice it’s between a and b. Both of which are appropriate and we have no preference in the outcome and there are no negative consequences for either.

why wait when the youngest has been free the whole time.

DLP we’ve been twice, spent around £700 both times on ‘Disney’ hardly a heck of a lot of money, and then spent time in Paris and the surrounding areas.

we also go on other holidays, and go to museums, heritage sites, libraries, historical sites (Roman remains, Buckingham palace etc, castles) beaches for shells and fossils. Most holidays for young kids tend to be AI beach and pool hols (we do that too) so I don’t see how that is any superior to Disney imo

I think its lovely OP. Our family holidays lasted the best part of a year with all the planning and research beforehand then all the reminiscing afterwards. We'd do exactly what you're doing and the DC loved it. They're all adults now and still talk about our holidays, and the two with families if their own do exactly the same build up and planning, even when it's a caravan in the UK. Harmless fun and family bonding.

This is exactly my philosophy, their worlds are so small, no control over anything, feel valued as if your voice matters means a lot to a child

Unless she is opposed to Disney (which you suggest is not the case) I don’t understand where the “indoctrination” comes in?

Is it just that she thinks kids shouldn’t have choices?

Bizarre attitude.

I completely disagree about holidays for and with children being AI and pool. We never ever did that and never would want to. We swerved the AI option when we went to Eurodisney despite stating at one of the Park hotels. Who wants to queue for their evening meal.

@Mmmmarmalade please ask her what she meant. It makes no sense!

What I meant was not talking Disney or other theme park holidays. We also didn’t do a dining package but I regret that at DLP, I think we paid more as a result

What i meant was most child friendly holidays are hardly backpacking and site seeing they tend to be AI pool and beach. So they’re hardly being exposed to a lot of culture on those hols either. So in that sense I don’t see Disney as being too different, but Disney gets maligned as being superficial