For being upset about not being invited along to MIL meal

[90sMam]

Myself and DP have been together for 6+ years and are due to be married end of this year.
DP’s brother arranged a belated Mother’s Day meal at a local restaurant however myself and our DS (aged 2) haven’t been invited. The guest list includes DP and brother, (future) MIL and FIL. This is booked on a Sunday in which we normally sit down and have a roast together. I feel abit excluded however DP doesn’t see an issue, whereas my family go above and beyond to include him- and us as a family unit- in everything they do… inclusive of holiday trips away.
If it’s my MIL and my DS Grandmother, why wouldn’t we be invited to celebrate a Mother’s Day meal? AIBU for being annoyed at this? The fact that FIL is invited makes it seem more of a family meal. Are we not part of the family?
Can I just add, BIL often has meals paid for by work, in which myself and DS don’t attend as often booked at his bedtime. My DP has confirmed not company meal this time.
What’s everyone else’s feelings about this?

When you you usually have a Sunday roast together do you mean just you and DP at home?

It sounds ok to me that it's just their family. It's nice sometimes just the original family members.

I don't get the Company thing. Do they all work together in a family business?

Does your brother in law have a partner?

So it sounds like it's just the in-laws, plus DH and his brother?

YABU. I wouldn't invite my DH to celebrate Mothers Day with my mum

Is it not simply 2 sons treating their mother ?

YABU, there’s nothing wrong with them wanting to have a meal out with just “their” little family if that’s what MIL wants. It would be different if there were other partners going but there isn’t.

Also, politely, maybe they want an adult only meal without a toddler and so that is why they have set it up in the way they have.

So only her dc going? For a Mother’s Day meal? Why are you not invited? Has your bil got an issue with you or is he literally thinking ‘mother’s day’ only her dc should go?

Does BIL have a partner?

It sounds like it's MIL, FIL and her two sons. I wouldn't expect to be invited to that.

No, all six of us.

So a couple and their two children are having a meal. Just those four people. Yep I think that's OK.

I have grown-up DC and while I am always happy to get together with their partners, I also enjoy time with just me and my kids. None of them have any DC tho - not sure how much difference that would make (I mean it's hard for me to judge IYSWIM).

I’d understand that if FIL wasn’t also attending on a day in which we normally would all have a family meal together.

To be honest, I think when my dc are grown up I'd love to go out for a meal with just the 3 of us, like it's been for 20 years, for old times sake. Not every time, but sometimes. So, Yabu.

Maybe they wanted an adult only meal?

2 brothers having dinner with their DParents seems perfectly normal to me.
I think you're overreacting and causing an issue where there isn't one.

Excluding the dad would be a bit odd!

Now wouldn’t that be nice….

FIL is her husband, the father of her children, part of their intimate family unit… of course he’d be there

You could arrange that in your own family, leave DP with the toddler?

I’m another who can’t see the issue with this. Would be different if other partners were invited, but it sounds like it’s just the parents and their sons.

No this wouldn’t bother me. DP and his sis took their Mum out for a Mother’s Day treat and I thought it was a lovely thing for them all to do together

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. What happened on Mother's Day?

It's very normal for adult children to take their parents out for meal on a special occasion.

There really isn't a need for you to be included every single time.

If it's just the parents, DP and BIL going then nothing wrong with that at all. Having your DC there will change the whole dynamic, and they probably just want a relaxed adult lunch.

I see. If it was just the Mother and two lads that'd be easier to understand as the Mother's day thing.
Is DPs mother a bit controlling?
Where is Sunday roast usually held, your house or DP mother's house?

I think you’re being unreasonable. My mum loves it if she can have a bit of time with just her nuclear family i.e. my brother, me and my dad (when he was still alive).

My mum loves my DH, SIL and adores all the grandkids but when we’re all together obviously mine and my brother’s attention is split amongst our spouses and kids.

So it must be lovely for her to occasionally have a bit of time with just her own children.

I think you’re being a bit ridiculous to be so put out, let them enjoy one meal where they’re doing something nice for their mum for Mother’s Day.

i think its bloody rude.You are a family unit you should be there without a second thought.