Being given raw broad beans to eat....

[Ilivetosleep]

I've had an experience today that I am genuinely perplexed by and I want to see if people think I have been unreasonable. Its quite long and I'm tired. But I will shorten the story as much as I can. We have travelled abroad for a major family holiday (think big 50th). All the inlaws including us. We stayed one night at MIL & FIL house as our flight came in really late. MIL kindly cooked the kids a meal they requested which was very carb heavy. All their meals are like this TBH. But as we were going to air bnb later I just agreed to eat this. I have a gastric ulcer meaning I have to really restrict my diet. Anyway went off to the air bnb but it hadn't been cleaned and we complained. They agreed to sort the flat and we returned to MIL house. Again she had cooked a very carb heavy meal.

Next day DH wanted to stay and have lunch there before we go back to the air bnb. Again they cooked a very carb heavy meal. I really don't want to be rude as I know they have let us stay with them. But by this point I've got serious gastric reflux and feel awful. I said to Dh maybe we can buy some cooked chicken and I can have this with salad and he agrees but he goes to 2 markets and finds none.

So again we sit down to eat. I have said nothing about not eating the food. I decided to just shut up and eat a little and not be impolite. MIlL starts to dish up the food. Then DH goes oh she can't eat that. MIL gets all flustered and asks me why didnt tell her I was on a diet and she could have cooked some beans and salad. She offers to cut me up carrot sticks.... so I say. Its fine there's no need to fuss. I will eat what I have. Then my FIL goes into the fridge and picks up a bag of raw unpeeled and unprepared Broad beans and puts these in front of me. I was so shocked. I got really embarrassed and said that I am OK. And thanked her for the meal and left the table.

Afterwards
Dh had a massive go at me that I am always disrespecting his family and I was so rude to his parents.

quick add..... its really hard telling FIL/MIL that I don't want to /can't eat their food as their entire days is focused ocooking g for the family. Today they had a major argument over it proper shouting and screaming at each other. They also do not know about my ulcer as I am waiting for a operation and if they know they would talk about it all the time. And I don't want them to do this ad I was hospitalised and the kids were very scared. They would speak about this information of the kids.
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Raw broad beans are great, have them with some young cheese, mint and olive oil -absolutely delicious.

Bit of jump for raw beans which are perfect fine to be eaten and raw chicken which would make you ill.

your father in law was probably panicking that you didn’t have food you liked/wanted so he grabbed the first easy thing.

the whole situation could have been avoided if you’d just communicated and told the in laws your issues or you bought your own food.

The whole thing sounds exhausting! Why can’t you just have said that you have a medical condition and tell them what you can or can’t eat? I felt annoyed just reading all the carb heavy comments. Are they supposed to be mind readers?

"I have food requirements which I failed to communicate to PIL in any way. When they discovered I could not eat what they had cooked, despite having eaten everything I'd been given for several days, they were somewhat baffled but attempted to give me an alternative which I would be able to eat, albeit slightly unusual given they had no time to prepare anything. I am now offended. Aibu?"

YES you are being totally unreasonable. Just be up front with people about a perfectly unremarkable medical requirement for plain food for goodness sake.

If the broad beans are eaten with cheese, and it seems this is the case where you are, them maybe this was FIL's way of signalling that the meal was over for you, and rude though it might have been, you brought it on yourself by being so bloody difficult.

Raw broad beans in their pods are a perfectly normal thing to serve in the nibbly veg category. It's not as though they gave you a whole raw swede.

I really want raw broad beans now.

I know how difficult it is when you're at someone else's house and you have dietary limitations. You don't want to impose them on the people hosting but then it gets difficult if they give you too much of what you can't eat.

A gastric ulcer is pretty miserable, I think with hindsight it would have been better if you ate somewhere else and not at your in laws. I think your DH was unreasonable to keep insisting you all eat there and should have been much more considerate of you.

YABVVU

You could have said : I'm not well, and it's affecting what I can eat. Please.may I have plain food, sorry to be a pain.

This is your fault.

I’m baffled at this. Raw broad beans is nothing like raw chicken. Raw chicken can make you ill. Raw broad beans will not. I’m from another Mediterranean country and eating raw broad beans would raise no eyebrows at all. I would say based on the lack of notice that was quick thinking from the in laws. The unreasonable ones are you or your dh. You for trying to be a martyr and your dh for bringing it up at such short notice.

I may be reaching, but did your husband know/think you’re going to sit politely and eat yourself to sickness? Presumably he would then have to deal with that purely because you don’t want to be fussed over?

Ulcers are nasty things that don’t allow you to just eat anything, just because it’s there.

Why didn’t you mention this when the request was made for foods the children like?