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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that if I shared an explicit picture of myself with a stranger and then they used that to blackmail to release client information, I would be sacked?

328 replies

cakeorwine · 05/04/2024 18:21

I guess people know what we are talking about.

William Wragg: Jeremy Hunt praises MP's apology over dating app incident - BBC News

If you send an explicit picture of yourself to a stranger, you are asking for danger.

If I did that and I was blackmailed into releasing personal information on other people, I would be sacked,

But hey, it's an accident. Nothing to see here.

And as for MPs who then were contacted by a stranger and then sent their own explicit pictures, what is there to say?

William Wragg

William Wragg: Jeremy Hunt praises MP's apology over dating app incident

The chancellor says William Wragg showed courage in admitting he gave out MPs' phone numbers.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-68740332

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noblegiraffe · 06/04/2024 09:38

cakeorwine · 06/04/2024 09:36

You are talking about moral judgements again.

It's not morals.

If you are at all concerned that an intimate picture of yourself could get out, then you don't send the picture.

You do understand that concept?

Why do you keep jumping into my conversations with someone else and complaining about my responses to them being irrelevant to my conversation with you? The person I was having the conversation with was explicitly talking about moral values.

You can tell who I'm addressing here by the fact that I've quoted them. You do understand that concept?

cakeorwine · 06/04/2024 09:41

noblegiraffe · 06/04/2024 09:38

Why do you keep jumping into my conversations with someone else and complaining about my responses to them being irrelevant to my conversation with you? The person I was having the conversation with was explicitly talking about moral values.

You can tell who I'm addressing here by the fact that I've quoted them. You do understand that concept?

You still don't seem to understand the basic idea:

If you would be concerned about an intimate picture of yourself being released, then don't send an intimate picture of yourself.

I would have thought that was Sexting101 in any class at school.

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ElsieMc · 06/04/2024 09:41

The Common Sense Group - is there such a thing?? Absolutely no self awareness. Why the hell would you do such a thing as a public figure and not only that, random colleagues who don't even know him well are now receiving spurious text contact. Serious breach of security. Why the hell was Jeremy Hunt describing him as brave? Think about where you work and what would happen if you did this to your colleagues. Pretty sure they would not use the word brave to describe you.

cakeorwine · 06/04/2024 09:42

countrygirl99 · 06/04/2024 09:37

It's not like people ever pretend to be someone they aren't on the internet. At least if you've met someone in real life at least you know hotty Dave from Brighton isn't a middle aged bloke from Kilburn with a beer gut and a heavy Russian accent.

Pretty certain that's covered in schools and online as well.

People need to take some personal responsibility - and it's so ironic that he is a member of the Common Sense Group

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noblegiraffe · 06/04/2024 09:45

cakeorwine · 06/04/2024 09:41

You still don't seem to understand the basic idea:

If you would be concerned about an intimate picture of yourself being released, then don't send an intimate picture of yourself.

I would have thought that was Sexting101 in any class at school.

Yes, I do understand the concept.

It doesn't seem to stop huge numbers of people sharing intimate pictures of themselves though, does it? Given the huge volume of pictures being shared, it seems Wragg was unlucky to be targeted by a criminal.

cakeorwine · 06/04/2024 09:48

noblegiraffe · 06/04/2024 09:45

Yes, I do understand the concept.

It doesn't seem to stop huge numbers of people sharing intimate pictures of themselves though, does it? Given the huge volume of pictures being shared, it seems Wragg was unlucky to be targeted by a criminal.

That's beside the point

It was a risk - and he should have been aware of the consequences - especially if he was at all concerned about it being leaked.

In any other profession, he would have faced consequences for leaking information on colleagues.

I know I would have faced action
I bet you would have faced action if you released personal information about colleagues or pupils.

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Financequestionnewname · 06/04/2024 09:48

cakeorwine · 06/04/2024 09:28

If you are at all worried that a nude picture of yourself could be used to blackmail you if it got out, then there is one obvious common sense solution.

He could have reacted by "Yes, it's my dick, I am a gay man on GrindR. What do you expect?"

And I think that would have left the blackmailer with nowhere to go and he would have had a lot of support if it had been released. Maybe some shock from some people that this is what happens on GrindR nowadays but I think he could have ridden it out if he had reacted that way.

But if anyone - and I am sure that this is taught at schools in PSHE - is at all concerned that an intimate picture of themselves might be leaked, then the answer is quite simple.

Don't send people, especially strangers, intimate pictures of yourself.

Maybe we need a public information film like "Charlie says" for MPs

(along with - if someone sends you a nude picture randomly, then don't send a nude picture back)

Charlie says 'don't send dick pictures' 🙄 😂

It could work, poor silly men.

This is the problem when men think with their dicks and not their brains.

cakeorwine · 06/04/2024 09:49

You have to wonder how many other MPs are sharing intimate pictures of themselves on various dating apps?

How many others are now thinking "Shit"

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noblegiraffe · 06/04/2024 09:54

cakeorwine · 06/04/2024 09:48

That's beside the point

It was a risk - and he should have been aware of the consequences - especially if he was at all concerned about it being leaked.

In any other profession, he would have faced consequences for leaking information on colleagues.

I know I would have faced action
I bet you would have faced action if you released personal information about colleagues or pupils.

I don't think anyone has argued that him leaking information was ok?

noblegiraffe · 06/04/2024 09:55

This is the problem when men think with their dicks and not their brains.

Do you think it's only men who send explicit images?

FiveFoxes · 06/04/2024 09:55

I think having a ONS as an MP would be highly irresponsible too. We're in an era where they are talking about needing bodyguards for a start. Or things could be planted on you. Or photos could be taken. I think as an MP you should be extremely careful about interactions with people you don't know.

But in an atmosphere where MPs are chosen because of the dirt that is held on them so that whips can use it to keep them in line (you can't control the squeaky clean), it is not surprising they are vulnerable to blackmail by others as well.

MrsSkylerWhite · 06/04/2024 09:55

noblegiraffe · Yesterday 20:33
BIossomtoes · Yesterday 20:31

Ah to have the perfect ability to spot scammers and fraudsters.

Surely if you were an MP you’d just assume everyone was? Actually you don’t even need to be an MP to do that.

So MPs should remain celibate

It’s quite possible to have a satisfying sex live without sending randoms photos of your tackle.

The man has been monumentally stupid and shockingly lax with others’ security.

noblegiraffe · 06/04/2024 10:00

I think having a ONS as an MP would be highly irresponsible too

We're going to get to the point where any single MP would be judged for having any sex life at all...

whistleblower99 · 06/04/2024 10:02

People who work at government level and have SC/DV would be stripped of their clearance and sacked. He’s a risk to national security. Why should he be exempt from vetting and similar because he was elected. The minions who work for the government go through months of clearance to check they aren’t as stupid as this. It’s common sense and they should know better. If they aren’t aware of honeypot style targeting then the security service needs to do some more training or something.

cakeorwine · 06/04/2024 10:02

noblegiraffe · 06/04/2024 09:54

I don't think anyone has argued that him leaking information was ok?

And what consequences do you think he should face for that?

In other professions, he would face consequences.

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cakeorwine · 06/04/2024 10:05

whistleblower99 · 06/04/2024 10:02

People who work at government level and have SC/DV would be stripped of their clearance and sacked. He’s a risk to national security. Why should he be exempt from vetting and similar because he was elected. The minions who work for the government go through months of clearance to check they aren’t as stupid as this. It’s common sense and they should know better. If they aren’t aware of honeypot style targeting then the security service needs to do some more training or something.

Exactly

Honeypot is a very old way of entrapment.

MPs and other people need to wary of it - and you would hope they get training.

He will be used as a case study.

And yes, I can see some enterprising individual doing a "Charlie says" video - the storyboard writes itself.

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medianewbie · 06/04/2024 10:06

DianaTaverner · 05/04/2024 18:44

Sharing an explicit picture of yourself with someone you've never met is foolish, but neither illegal or immoral.

But to hand over someone else's private information in response to blackmail is terrible behaviour. As an MP the only acceptable response to that is to go to the police and the Whips immediately.

Agreed.

noblegiraffe · 06/04/2024 10:15

cakeorwine · 06/04/2024 10:02

And what consequences do you think he should face for that?

In other professions, he would face consequences.

Should he face consequences, yes, but he's a Tory MP isn't he? How can they apply disciplinary proceedings when he has colleagues who have done far worse and got away with it?

Gavin Williamson got kicked out of cabinet for leaking National Security Council discussions to the press, which is objectively worse than giving out some phone numbers, but then was made Education Secretary.

Rishi himself broke the law while in office and was fined for it.....he was made Prime Minister.

And let's not get started on the cess pit that's Boris. He got away with giving a place in the House of Lords to a dodgy Russian.

DaisysChains · 06/04/2024 10:21

As someone who has been filmed covertly I am fucking incensed that anyone would equate that to taking photos of yourself and voluntarily sending them to someone else

one is a criminal act and the other is a free fucking choice

the consequences and devastation is not comparable

and fyi a lot of us, even when recorded outside of our knowledge, never mind choice, do go to the police like that’s fucking worth it

even when the shock and betrayal was killing me I still did the right thing

an MP who freely chooses to send explicit photos needs both the wit to know a problem may occur and the <photographed> big balls to own it if said blackmail problem does occur

NONE of this scenario is in anyway comparable to someone being recorded without their knowledge and it is bloody disgusting to suggest it does

noblegiraffe · 06/04/2024 10:25

As someone who has been filmed covertly I am fucking incensed that anyone would equate that to taking photos of yourself and voluntarily sending them to someone else

one is a criminal act and the other is a free fucking choice

You appear to have misunderstood. Blackmailing someone by threatening to release their nude photos which they sent voluntarily is a criminal act.

That's where the comparison lies.

Having sex with someone is not a criminal act, it is also a free choice. Covertly filming it is illegal.

noblegiraffe · 06/04/2024 10:26

And for what it's worth, I'm really sorry that happened to you. It's a despicable breach of trust.

Financequestionnewname · 06/04/2024 10:26

ElsieMc · 06/04/2024 09:41

The Common Sense Group - is there such a thing?? Absolutely no self awareness. Why the hell would you do such a thing as a public figure and not only that, random colleagues who don't even know him well are now receiving spurious text contact. Serious breach of security. Why the hell was Jeremy Hunt describing him as brave? Think about where you work and what would happen if you did this to your colleagues. Pretty sure they would not use the word brave to describe you.

All corrupt, backing their mates.

Saschka · 06/04/2024 10:30

countrygirl99 · 05/04/2024 20:32

This sort of blackmail is one of the ways criminals get bank staff to give then bank account details to steal money from peoples accounts. Those bank staff would be sacked, no alternative treatment. I don't see why Wragg should be treated differently.

The difference here is that I’m not sure his colleagues’ phone numbers would necessarily be classed as protected data - I am assuming here that his colleagues gave him their phone numbers willingly, and that he didn’t have to access Tory central office personnel files (or whatever they use) to obtain them - obviously if he did, that changes things significantly and he should be sacked.

”Can you give me your mate’s number?” is very different to “can you log into a work system and give me a list of strangers’ bank details?” Lots of people have had their numbers passed on to random men/stalker exes by “friends”, and it’s not usually actionable.

I’m not defending his actions at all, but I suspect the Tory party know there isn’t a legal/HR case to answer here, and are making the best of it. By supporting him, it makes it much harder for the blackmailer to release material on other people as they know the Tory party and press will support the victims. No newspaper is going to print Michael Gove’s dick pics (or whoever) after this little performance, as it would be clear they had obtained them from a blackmailer.

FiveFoxes · 06/04/2024 10:53

Saschka · 06/04/2024 10:30

The difference here is that I’m not sure his colleagues’ phone numbers would necessarily be classed as protected data - I am assuming here that his colleagues gave him their phone numbers willingly, and that he didn’t have to access Tory central office personnel files (or whatever they use) to obtain them - obviously if he did, that changes things significantly and he should be sacked.

”Can you give me your mate’s number?” is very different to “can you log into a work system and give me a list of strangers’ bank details?” Lots of people have had their numbers passed on to random men/stalker exes by “friends”, and it’s not usually actionable.

I’m not defending his actions at all, but I suspect the Tory party know there isn’t a legal/HR case to answer here, and are making the best of it. By supporting him, it makes it much harder for the blackmailer to release material on other people as they know the Tory party and press will support the victims. No newspaper is going to print Michael Gove’s dick pics (or whoever) after this little performance, as it would be clear they had obtained them from a blackmailer.

It raises the question - why would someone just want personal phone numbers?