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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have not dealt with this poor sad person more sensitively

25 replies

BearMama · 29/03/2008 11:29

A few weeks ago I posted an ad on Gumtree looking for baby stuff. I have most things I need now, but got a message saying did I still want the ad. There's a couple of things I'd still like so I clicked the link to refresh the ad.

A few minutes later I got this response:

PEOPLE LIKE YOU MAKE ME SO ANGRY. YOU HAVE THE CHEEK TO BEG FOR FREE ITEMS WHEN YOU KNEW IF YOU GOT PREGNANT YOU WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO SUPPORT A CHILD.A BIT OF GOOD ADVICE. IF YOU WANT GOOD THINGS IN THIS WORLD YOU HAVE TO WORK FOR THEM.DONT BRING YOUR BABY INTO THIS WORLD EXPECTING TO BE HANDED EVERYTHING ON A PLATE..GO AND GET SOME BIRTH CONTROL ITS FREE.

Yes, that was what they said. My instinct was to laugh incredulously, tell DP, and send this response:

Ooooh - someone has ISSUES.

People like you make me laugh.

You are so pathetic you have to send abusive emails to people without knowing their circumstances.

Nowhere did I say I wanted anything free.

I've reported you to Gumtree because you could really have upset someone with your comments.

A bit of good advice.

You are clearly an unhappy person so trying being nicer to people and you might not end up a bitter loser reduced to sending this nonsense.

Go and get some manners. They are free.

Still laughing. Get a life ffs.

-------

Now I am feel I was a bit harsh. Maybe they were deficient in some way. A reactionary old Git. Or a Daily Wail reader (in which case they couldnt help themselves). I dont know.

OP posts:
BellaBear · 29/03/2008 11:31

i got free baby stuff from others because it's less wasteful

what a tosser.

BellaBear · 29/03/2008 11:32

goodness, that's the most rude I've ever been on MN. I think the ANs are working

madamez · 29/03/2008 11:32

I would have sent back something even ruder, probably. Including the information that it is far less wasteful to pass on baby clothes than buy new ones.

BellaBear · 29/03/2008 11:33

ADs even

southeastastra · 29/03/2008 11:33

your reply sounds very restrained! well done.

BearMama · 29/03/2008 11:35

Same for me BellaBear. Why buy new when you can help someone get rid of their unwanted (and often barely used) baby stuff? They make a few £££'s, you get cheap stuff, everyone's happy.

They were obviously on a mission to wind people up. They sent a similar thing to someone else. I'm just glad I could laugh it off but they could really have hurt someone's feelings.

OP posts:
BearMama · 29/03/2008 11:38

My reply to the email address came back "Undeliverable" (surprise surprise) so I posted another ad asking for FREE baby stuff, but put my response in the body of the ad. I hope it stops them doing it again.

It was supposed to make me feel cowed and inadequate but it had the opposite effect.

OP posts:
BellaBear · 29/03/2008 11:40

did gumtree say anything?

winniethewino · 29/03/2008 11:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wilbur · 29/03/2008 11:45

I got a similar abusive message from someone via Gumtree when I advertised for an au pair. It occurred to me that it might be a way to collect emails adresses - write something so horrid that people feel compelled to reply and so your email is then on their spam system. Or there are just unpleasant nutters out there. Ignore it, and I hope you find the stuff you need.

BearMama · 29/03/2008 11:47

Gumtree havent replied but I doubt there is much that can be done since it was a dodgy email.
I dont know why I was able to laugh it off and not be offended, maybe because it was SO outrageous as to be laughable, or I was just feeling very strong.

However I do care that someone else might be put off posting for stuff they need because of idiots like this.

OP posts:
Lulumama · 29/03/2008 11:49

well done for standing up to them !

I was delighted to send you some of my baby stuff, some had not even been worn ! and it is lovely to know that it is going to be used and appreciated by someone else who is part of the MN community.....

maybe this person never had DCs or struggled financially to support her family and is jealous ?

would have been easier to tell them to eff off, but good for you for being more moderate than that

NickiSue · 29/03/2008 11:49

Wow! Probably someone who has just bought a pram for £400 only to see it for £50 brand new on ebay so in an arse with themselves!!

Laugh it off!

Egg · 29/03/2008 11:49

I would have used a lot of expletives. Poor sad person with nothing better to do.

On the subject of free baby stuff though, do you still need my baby girl clothing. I have no need for it ever ever ever again, am collecting quite a big bag now as DD is finally moving into bigger clothes. I will happily send it on unless you have tons already.

Did you watch the sling dvd yet????

BearMama · 29/03/2008 11:49

wilbur, the same thing occurred to me so I used an email that I'd set up specially where I dont care if it gets spam or not.

Some twunt on Freecycle recently offered a Wii - imagine the number of replies they got. Turned out it was a scam, probably to collect email addresses. Losers.

OP posts:
wilbur · 29/03/2008 11:55

Ah, good idea. I have a spam email as well, it's astounding the stuff I get on that.

BearMama · 29/03/2008 11:56

Hi Lulumama and Nickisue, I did detect a whiff of sour grapes so maybe you are right, lol

Egg, I have just started watching the DVD. It has 11 chapters! Did you watch it? Re the clothes, I will email you. X

OP posts:
waffletrees · 29/03/2008 17:05

YANBU. They are only jealous. I certainly wished that I thought of using gumtree for my PFB. Now my baby years are going I have tried to giveaway as much old stuff as possible. Much better it is re-used than go into landfill. Luckily for me lots of friends have started breeding so no twunts for gumtree can harass me.

milliec · 29/03/2008 17:11

Message withdrawn

Willowwisp · 29/03/2008 19:34

Hey Bearmama

What a complete and utter tw.t!

Are you still looking for stuff, I've got stuff stashed away for a baby girl so let me know what you still need and I will have a look for you?

Ignore the person who sent that nasty reply, he/she doesn't know your circumstances and I don't care what they are anyway I'm just happy to help people out with stuff I've got!

agnesnitt · 29/03/2008 21:24

Oh my word.. Mayhaps I should have insulted the lass who asked for the baby item I was getting rid of on freecycle instead of being glad to get it off my hands? My word, some people have no idea do they? I love the recycling of stuff idea, be it for free or a nominal fee. Methinks the nutjob who the thread-starter was abused by is probably another one of those bored teens not dealing too well with the Easter break. Roll on A week next Tuesday

Agnes

PotPourri · 29/03/2008 21:32

Well done you! And I like the way it was not defensive - why should you have to justify to people why you are having a child and why you are looking to buy baby stuff cheap. Where possible I always go for second hand - it makes the money I have go much further, but more improtantly, it is better for the environment as they don't end up in a landfill, and it is also less wastefull. Why should those items rot in a garage/loft somewhere when I could make use of it - one less item for the buggy suppliers to make!?!

BearMama · 30/03/2008 00:11

Thanks everyone for your nice supportive comments -

Willowwisp thanks for your kind offer. I've been given loads of clothes (thank you Egg, Cali, Adele, Lulumama, seaside and EandH) but there are still some things I could use. My email is [email protected] if you want to sort something out? X

OP posts:
Willowwisp · 30/03/2008 22:44

Hey Bearmama

I can't reply yet via mail as mines not working!! I will as soon as its back working again though!

BearMama · 31/03/2008 13:15

No worries Willow

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