Ok to leave a 16 year old?

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I know that this will provoke a variety of responses but just wanted to get a selection of ideas
Is it ok to leave a 16 year old home alone for four days/three nights? DH and I have the opportunity to go to a wedding- in this country but few hours drive away. Midweek and DS has college. We are involved in the wedding (complicated) so would be away for the above time. We have a fab neighbour who would be on call for any domestic dramas, he can have tea with his best mate every night (we did same over Easter for the friend) and my best friend lives two minutes away and would check on him every day. At the moment we have 3 options - we all go and he misses college, one of us goes and the other stays with him, or no-one goes.
DH says he’s old enough and very sensible but my mum heart says he’s still my little boy! What would you do?

That probably should have been included in your OP, tbh.

But even with the ADHD, I think the set-up sounds fine. He has plenty of people looking out for him and college will contact you if he's bunking off.

Yea absolutely I would

I left mine for four nights. His GF stayed at home with him and his GPs were ten minutes away. No problem.

At 16, they can leave for college and fend for themselves. They need to learn independence.

I was left for weekends several times a year at 16. I also have ADHD - I just needed a text reminder to lock the door in the evening.

As long as he feels comfortable that he can manage I wouldn't worry about it. He has lots of people he can turn to if he has any problems and worst case is he just ends up going to stay with a friend.

I wouldn't, but I was left a lot at similar age and that has influenced my view.

The ADHD also makes a difference IMO.

I think that it is fine. My eldest two girls would have wanted a mate to stay. Like a pp I left home at 16. However, the middle of the night, with only your own judgement to get you by, can feel very different to how you thought. Could you do an overnight stay to test things out? This could be the start of a new found freedom.

He has been left for one night and was fine.

I was at parties like this at that age 😂 my friends certainly shouldn't have been trusted!

I would have been a bit clueless but trustworthy however. I suppose it depends on the child and who else is around!

I left my daughter overnight but I think that's too long sorry.

Exactly this. In fact I'd feel deeply ashamed of myself if my kids at 16 were unable to look after themselves for a few days. It's only feeding themselves and getting to college. Not working long shifts to pay bills and doing diy on top

I can only go by my own experience of this happening when ds2 was 16. We’d booked a family holiday in Devon, but there was a gathering which clashed, and he particularly wanted to attend, so we agreed he’d make his own way and join us a couple of days after the party. I’m sure I worried at the time, about him spending 3 nights alone, the party, getting back from the party, securing the house, him catching the right trains (involved two changes), but he was (is!) sensible when it comes to important things, plus we were in phone contact for reminders, and know the neighbours well, who would have contacted us if anything was amiss. It all went like clockwork. He survived, so did the house!

It's not very long since you could marry at 16!!

I would ignore your Mum and go by your instincts and knowledge of your son.

Then I come full circle back to it's all about the individual, you need to trust your own judgement.

Of course it is. 16 year olds can live alone.

I’m a bit shocked at some of the replies on here… when I was this age I was going on holiday with my girlfriends to Greece…nights out, staying over at each others houses. Maybe it depends on the persons character! I suppose being in a group is different to being ‘alone’. What are your neighbours like? Anyone that can come and stay but not ‘babysit’??

My DD would be fine, she’s just turned 16 and so far I’ve only left her 1 night but she’s more than capable of looking after herself and cooks her own food every day anyway.

How does he feel about it?

Of course, he's almost an adult! He'll be fine.

I think that sounds fine and very controlled. I presume he could stay with his/your friend if something came up. I moved out at just 17 (I have ADHD) so have plenty of faith in most people's ability to manage some independence at that age.

It entirely depends on the 16 year old.

Based on your description it sounds fine.

He will be fine. 16 can be very mature.

Maybe do a checklist of things needed to be done before bed. Doors, windows, oven etc. And make him responsible for it from now on so it becomes second nature by the time you leave.

Also get him to cook some meals, and do the clean up so he knows his responsibility

If he is ok with it I think he’ll be fine op. In fact it will be a good learning experience for him. I would be more worried about a wild party in my house tbh!

Edited to say: apologies just read that you are not worried about parties! In that case, go for it!

I wouldn't personally.

DD lives with her grandparents Mon-Fri so they she can get to college (we live rurally and are counting the days to her turning 17 and being able to learn to drive). Two of her friends also board with them for the same reasons, so three 16yr olds together. MIL and FIL went away for a fortnight recently and the three of them stayed alone Mon-Fri. We checked in with them 3 times a week and they were so domesticated. They cooked dinner, cleaned, watched documentaries together and even did some gardening unprompted. They messaged us morning and evening on a shared WhatsApp with us, MIL and the parents of the other two and they had a thoroughly lovely time.

I teach secondary however and can confirm that it depends on the DC. I've taught a few who've been left alone for a weekend and they've taken part in some very risky behaviours.

Yes! I was left home alone for a week at 16 (& no mobile phones either). He'll love it!