Ex refusing to pay CM after holiday

[Musli200]

My Ex & I have a private agreement for child maintenance. He recently decreased it with no notice due to finding out I was in a new relationship.

Im constantly having to chase him for it which makes me feel like a beggar.

He owns his own business and is a high earner although tells me if I went the route of c.m.s I would get less so I suspect he fiddles the books.

We don’t have set days for dc. He usually takes dc one night during the week and one night at the weekends, sometimes two nights at the weekends or just during the day on a Saturday if he has plans. So far it has worked well.

He has been abroad twice this year for one week at a time without dc .
I was away for five nights without dc during this time my parents kept dc for one night and ex had her the rest of the time.

He informed me on my return that he would not be paying c.m this week and how dare I ask for it as it should me paying him as he looked after dc while I was away .

He is taking dc on a last minute trip to visit family next week for four nights. He will of course again refuse to pay cms.

aibu to think this is unfair ?

Get to cms. You might get less but you won't be in a position that he's trying to control you

Just go through CMS, yes you might get less but it takes the control away from him and makes him play ball. Paying the admin fee and putting a middle man in the picture is well worth it to remove the stress that doing it alone causes jn this instance.

Go to cms. You won't have to deal with his shit. Yes he'll pay you less and wiggle out of it but thats the sort of shit dad he is

I’d also go through cms so he doesn’t have this hold over you. Suggest to him that if he isn’t telling them how much he actually earns then you might have to phone the tax office too

Yabu for not just going to cms

Go to CMS and do not tell him you are doing so. You will get a yearly annual review of his salary and if it seems way too low you will have to apply for a mandatory reconsideration. Failing this because (CMS are f**King useless) you can pursue him and take him to court! I'm at this stage... currently it's taking over 1 year and I'm awaiting a date still. However on my last review in December ex paying changed from £7 per week...to £450 per month. The joke of it all we will still be going to court! Men!!

Go to CMS and do not tell him. He will be furious but he already is furious - because he is an absolute idiot

I found this on hmrc .

That HMRC screenshot is part of a company filing, if he's an employed individual (even by a LTD company) it's not used to calculate his CMS. It's also a year old!

That's just his assets. Go onto Companies House and look at full accounts. It will show profit and loss and also may list directors salaries. If he is the sole employee of his company anything listed as salary will be his income.

Of course you’re not being unreasonable; he’s being a twat.

He won’t be fiddling the books. He’ll be paying himself a low salary and topping it up with dividends. CMS will only consider his actual salary, so he’s probably right in saying you’ll get less.

Profit and loss won’t be on Companies House or anywhere else in the public domain. SPL is for HMRC only.

The screen shot is the balance sheet/statement of financial position. This is to tell potential investors how much your company has in assets and debts.

Generally the ones I have seen for full set of accounts do have these. Short versions don't.

Oh crap, is this true? my soon to be ex is a co. director - takes a tiny salary but receives 4 x as much annually in dividends. He currently pays a decent amount in maintenance but i'm concerned his solicitor will advise him to pay in line with CMS calculations, which will reduce it significantly if the dividends aren't taken into account.

Yes. Dividends are based on company profit in the same way bonuses usually are.

Thanks everyone I have no clue about this kind of stuff . He told me at the start of the year he was putting all his money into his business and paying himself a small wage . Yet he lives a really nice lifestyle , four bedroom house , top of the range car and has told me in txt he is going on four holidays this year because he works so hard and deserves it.

I am an accountant. Profit and loss for limited companies is not public domain. Public limited companies are obviously different.

Just go to CMS. Even if it’s less it will be regular.

I have just double checked this for you. They should go by the total on his last tax return, which is whatever his income was for the financial year ending 5th April 2023.

Well it's hard to pay less than nothing, which is what he has paid you on several occasions. So you'll be better off going through CMS even if the figure is less than 'agreed'.

Agree with this. OP will also know exactly what she’ll be getting every month.

Thanks for doing that :) We're still quite early on in divorce process so i've a lot to be getting my head around, and very worried about the finances

Dividends can be taken as income for CMS.

If they’re not declared and included in the initial calculation then a variation can be applied for.

It can be a pain as you likely have to chase and chase to keep CMS on their toes but they are getting slightly better at dealing with the likes of dividends and rental income.

It’s understandable that you’re worried. Hopefully he will be fair.

Did he start the business during the marriage? If so, and he does start to be unreasonable, you would have rights to some sort of claim on the business either as a lump sum or spousal maintenance. It’s obviously turning a good profit if he’s paying himself 4 x his salary in dividends.

OP...get clued up on this. Don't just shrug and say "oh I don't understand it". Get your big girl pants on and read up on what your children are entitled to. Under NO circumstances believe anything at all that the ex tells you. Yes CMS are not easy to deal with and it's true that many self employed payers get away with paying far less but unless you want to spend the next decade asking "how high"? every time your ex says "jump" you need to take control. In two ways..one is to put it in the hands of CMS and pursue the case. The second, if at all possible , is to get yourself into a position where his money is helpful but not necessary. He can't have you over a barrell if there is no barrell.