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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell her to get lost?

459 replies

Sportycustard · 01/04/2024 16:34

Just got home to find a note from my neighbour.

"Hi Sporty, just wanted to let you know that we're rehoming a couple of cats in the next week or two. I can see from our upstairs windows that you have some plants in your garden that are poisonous to cats so I will pop round in the next day or so and point them out so you can remove them in good time for our new arrivals"

I've just done a quick Google and it looks like she is referring to a rhododendron that was a gift from a friend who has now passed away and an azaelia that was a 50th birthday gift. Both are established shrubs and mean a lot to me.

AIBU to tell her my garden will be staying as it is?

OP posts:
M1Holly · 02/04/2024 17:05

ememem84 · 02/04/2024 12:50

Yeah we’ve one of these. My neighbour helpfully keeps telling me that my cat keeps coming in their house. I thought it odd because whilst I have a cat she is afraid of people mostly and rarely leaves our garden and if I’m home attaches herself to me.

he stomped over the other day to tell me he was sick of his couch being ruined by my cat and he’d trapped him in a one of his dogs cages. He carried cage back to our house.

pointed out to him that it wasn’t my cat. Had to show him my cat who was napping on the couch. But no. He wouldn’t believe it. Insisted on sending me a bill for ruining his couch.

Sorry but this made me laugh! What on earth?!! How do you reason with someone like that?!

Avatartar · 02/04/2024 17:38

Edit fail - ignore

0sm0nthus · 02/04/2024 17:40

Fjorduk · 02/04/2024 14:31

I bought a small house with a massive garden specifically thinking of my dogs. The garden is overgrown (the previous owner was a very old lady) and the next door neighbour's cats love to hunt and spend time there. We haven't moved yet - the house needs a lot of work - but the next door neighbour already told us she is expecting us to honour the previous owner's permission to have the cats there and we should keep our dogs indoors at all times 🙄 we told her we're not responsible for her cats safety and she should keeps them indoors or proof her garden - she was absolutely shocked with the suggestions! And every time we go to the house during the day and she cannot find one of the cats in that evening/night, she calls demanding us to go back to the house (we live 40 minutes away) and be sure the cat is not locked indoors. It never happened, by the way.

Show quote history

You have to promise to start a thread when you do move it, you cant tease us with this and just leave us hanging!!!
(🙏🙏🙏)

NeedSomeHeadspace · 02/04/2024 17:43

Is this story fake for the purposes of the Daily Mail? I find this hard to believe.

Zeborah · 02/04/2024 17:43

Is she aware of all the poisonous plants within a two mile radius; as that’s how far her cats will be roaming !

Skyelils · 02/04/2024 17:44

Ya joking it’s your bloody garden she’s got a bloody cheek. Tell her to keep them in. Is she going to monitor every bloody garden they might go in if they’re let out . Bloody cheeky

Kentucky83 · 02/04/2024 17:46

I have 2 cats currently and I think your neighbour is nuts. If she's that bothered then she needs to keep them inside.
If she tries to do anything, you tell her your plants are living beings too, they live with you and you love them as you would a pet and they also have sentimental meaning.
And tell her the cats will avoid them. Because they will.

ALongHardWinter · 02/04/2024 17:49

YANBU. I'm a cat lover and owner and can understand her concerns,but I still think she's being a totally unreasonable CF!

0sm0nthus · 02/04/2024 17:49

Tell her you love your plants like children, that they are your leaf babies, and that they are able to communicate telepathically with cats and will make sure the cats dont eat them.

MustWeDoThis · 02/04/2024 17:53

Sportycustard · 01/04/2024 16:34

Just got home to find a note from my neighbour.

"Hi Sporty, just wanted to let you know that we're rehoming a couple of cats in the next week or two. I can see from our upstairs windows that you have some plants in your garden that are poisonous to cats so I will pop round in the next day or so and point them out so you can remove them in good time for our new arrivals"

I've just done a quick Google and it looks like she is referring to a rhododendron that was a gift from a friend who has now passed away and an azaelia that was a 50th birthday gift. Both are established shrubs and mean a lot to me.

AIBU to tell her my garden will be staying as it is?

Write on the back:

"Please ensure your garden is a secure enclosure for your precious fur babies. I cannot be held responsible for their well-being because it's a you problem, not a me problem. Please also make sure you risk check the rest of the area in <#> radius, as cats tend to wander and you never know who else has these plants that you might also want to leave a note for - Unless you have suddenly decided to keep them in doors, like a responsible parent?"

Kindest of regards

Newestname002 · 02/04/2024 17:59

@Sportycustard

Daft mare! Her - not you.

I was going to warn you she might mess with your garden whilst you're out but I see your other neighbour's CCTV has that covered. And she's marked her own card with your neighbours too. 🌹

pizzaHeart · 02/04/2024 17:59

Sportycustard · 02/04/2024 12:34

She's on the neighbourhood watch one. It's mostly used for intel on car thefts as we've had a number of car thefts locally. We do have a local Facebook group which is much busier so maybe she'll turn up on there demanding we all stop driving, owning dogs and planting shrubs

Show quote history

Yes, be aware driving is a serious threat to cats especially when it’s dark so she might raise this issue as well.
I think your response was a right one, her request was absolutely batshit. And I do love cats and deliberately left space in the side gates for them to wander.

AnnOtherLife · 02/04/2024 18:02

Eh?😶 Ridiculous neighbour. Was it an April Fools?

Mumoftwoandcats · 02/04/2024 18:04

Good grief! If her cats are going to be outdoor cats, they will wander all over, and come into contact with many dangers. You are not responsible for her what her cats do in your garden, you’re entitled to have what you want in your own space. I have 2 cats, and while I wouldn’t have toxic plants in my own garden, it’s really none of my business what anyone else has in theirs. What a terrible unreasonable message to send you. Be sure to let her know if they use your garden as a toilet too!

DartmoorDoughnut · 02/04/2024 18:06

This is just the most wonderfully entitled batshittery I’ve ever heard 🤣

Hameth · 02/04/2024 18:07

I think this is perfectly reasonable. I think you should also be looking to sell your car as sadly they can be dangerous to cats as well. And of course any dogs in the street will have to go.

I've just had an idea. You could offer to use a cattle prod on the cats if you see them in your garden to scare them away. Hand thats burned etc?

Personally, one is tempted to cover a large hole in the ground with cat nip and bring an end to the problem but its not the poor cats fault.

Soubriquet · 02/04/2024 18:13

I honestly can’t believe there are people like this. Just….sheer brass neck. It’s one of the problems with having roaming cats. You cannot protect them from outdoor dangers. Good on you for standing up

Mothmansknickers · 02/04/2024 18:13

Is she going to try and control the plants in the whole neighbourhood?

I've never heard such nonsense.

RecklessGoddess · 02/04/2024 18:16

Definitely not being unreasonable, I'm a cat owner myself and I would never dream of going to a neighbour, expecting them to remove hazardous plants to my cat. But then, my cat is an indoor cat, because I don't think people should just let their cats out. They'd soon cry about everyone doing that with their dogs!

Pelsall116 · 02/04/2024 18:16

I have Azaleas and Rhododendrons in my garden. I also have a couple of cats. No issues

WellManneredFrivolity · 02/04/2024 18:16

As a cat slave, YANBU. Is she going to canvas the entire neighbourhood and police their plants? Not your problem

HairyFarnbarn · 02/04/2024 18:20

I’m a cat owner and I think she is bonkers

Havinganamechange · 02/04/2024 18:24

I think your neighbor is rude and a very CF, you are not being unreasonable. How dare they, basically telling you they will be doing something to your property and not asking. I would firmly put my foot down and make it clear that shit will hit the fan if she touches any of your garden.

canyouseemyhousefromhere · 02/04/2024 18:28

Does she realise just how far cats wander? I have often met our (neutered) cat quite a few streets away whilst walking the dog at night. He then walks home with us.
She may need to redesign every garden in town! 😂

SiobhanSharpe · 02/04/2024 18:29

Sportycustard · 01/04/2024 16:46

Ohhhh have a whole border of lavender. Had no idea that was a problem either.

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And don't whatever you do plant any lilies....
Lily pollen is also supposedly toxic to cats but I found one of our cats' whiskers were covered in it (from a vase of them). Tiddles was perfectly ok.
(To clarify i mean all the whiskers of one of our cats rather than one of our cat's whiskers...)

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