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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell her to get lost?

459 replies

Sportycustard · 01/04/2024 16:34

Just got home to find a note from my neighbour.

"Hi Sporty, just wanted to let you know that we're rehoming a couple of cats in the next week or two. I can see from our upstairs windows that you have some plants in your garden that are poisonous to cats so I will pop round in the next day or so and point them out so you can remove them in good time for our new arrivals"

I've just done a quick Google and it looks like she is referring to a rhododendron that was a gift from a friend who has now passed away and an azaelia that was a 50th birthday gift. Both are established shrubs and mean a lot to me.

AIBU to tell her my garden will be staying as it is?

OP posts:
Fjorduk · 02/04/2024 14:31

KreedKafer · 02/04/2024 12:40

My sister moved into a cottage with her dog and a few days after she arrived her neighbour briskly announced that her cats liked to spend a lot of time in my sister's garden, so my sister would need to make sure she only allowed her dog in her garden if it was on a tight lead at all times.

I bought a small house with a massive garden specifically thinking of my dogs. The garden is overgrown (the previous owner was a very old lady) and the next door neighbour's cats love to hunt and spend time there. We haven't moved yet - the house needs a lot of work - but the next door neighbour already told us she is expecting us to honour the previous owner's permission to have the cats there and we should keep our dogs indoors at all times 🙄 we told her we're not responsible for her cats safety and she should keeps them indoors or proof her garden - she was absolutely shocked with the suggestions! And every time we go to the house during the day and she cannot find one of the cats in that evening/night, she calls demanding us to go back to the house (we live 40 minutes away) and be sure the cat is not locked indoors. It never happened, by the way.

needsomewarmsunshine · 02/04/2024 14:41

I'm a bit over invested with the bat shittery on MN. Just when you think it couldn't get worse it does.😁
She'll be complaining to the council next.
Rooting for OP and #team greyhound.

needsomewarmsunshine · 02/04/2024 14:44

Fjorduk · 02/04/2024 14:31

I bought a small house with a massive garden specifically thinking of my dogs. The garden is overgrown (the previous owner was a very old lady) and the next door neighbour's cats love to hunt and spend time there. We haven't moved yet - the house needs a lot of work - but the next door neighbour already told us she is expecting us to honour the previous owner's permission to have the cats there and we should keep our dogs indoors at all times 🙄 we told her we're not responsible for her cats safety and she should keeps them indoors or proof her garden - she was absolutely shocked with the suggestions! And every time we go to the house during the day and she cannot find one of the cats in that evening/night, she calls demanding us to go back to the house (we live 40 minutes away) and be sure the cat is not locked indoors. It never happened, by the way.

Show quote history

"Pay for my time, hourly rate is £40 also petrol up front and I might come back, other than that stop being so batshit."

Noraton · 02/04/2024 14:57

OP, Im imagining your garden! It sounds gorgeous!

krustykittens · 02/04/2024 14:59

Are people becoming more entitled or does the internet mean we are more aware of these stories?

FiveLamps · 02/04/2024 15:02

This reminds me of a thread a year or so ago, when a mumsnetter lived next door to a family who had a daughter with an allergy to dogs.

The mumsnetter was told not to let her dog into her own back garden, or let it get into the car on their drive. If the dog was to get into the car it had to be parked around the corner. Also, the daughter must never see or hear the dog, or see any of it's toys, bed, food bowl etc.

Eventually the mumsnetter got fed up and let the dog into her garden. Cue the next door neighbour screaming at her from an open window that she was 'trying to kill' the daughter.

Some people really do live on their own special little planets.

K0OLA1D · 02/04/2024 15:04

FiveLamps · 02/04/2024 15:02

This reminds me of a thread a year or so ago, when a mumsnetter lived next door to a family who had a daughter with an allergy to dogs.

The mumsnetter was told not to let her dog into her own back garden, or let it get into the car on their drive. If the dog was to get into the car it had to be parked around the corner. Also, the daughter must never see or hear the dog, or see any of it's toys, bed, food bowl etc.

Eventually the mumsnetter got fed up and let the dog into her garden. Cue the next door neighbour screaming at her from an open window that she was 'trying to kill' the daughter.

Some people really do live on their own special little planets.

I remember that thread! A lot of people agreed with the neighbour if I recall as well! Bonkers!

Emotionalsupportviper · 02/04/2024 15:08

K0OLA1D · 02/04/2024 15:04

I remember that thread! A lot of people agreed with the neighbour if I recall as well! Bonkers!

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I remember it, too!

Absolutely crackers!

How did the kid get to school, having to pass random dogs isn the street? Go on holiday? What happened if they encountered a service dog when they went iiut for a meal etc?

godmum56 · 02/04/2024 15:16

KreedKafer · 02/04/2024 12:42

OMG!! The dog on a lead thing - see my post above about my sister's neighbour! That happened about 15 years ago, so presumably not the same mad woman, but who'd have thought there were two of them?!

Show quote history

oh there are more than 2! I had real stress a few years ago when a crazy woman and her husband reported me to the council over my dogs.

CruCru · 02/04/2024 15:23

In a way, it’s good that she is being mental with lots of people, not just you.

My understanding is that nearly all plants are poisonous (to some extent) to cats but they have the wit to not eat them.

VimtoVimto · 02/04/2024 15:33

This is interesting. We moved to a newbuild four years ago and got a cat. The last time we had a cat was over twenty years ago and we had all sorts in the garden including azaleas, tulips and hydrangeas and never thought twice about it.

I have been obsessed with checking anything I plant is safe for cats and it seems most isn’t. I realise I’m probably being obsessive because a lot of the plants mentioned as unsafe for cats are common and you don’t hear of them affecting (m)any cats. I think we honestly have far too much information available to us and it creates unnecessary caution.

Emotionalsupportviper · 02/04/2024 15:34

As someone said upthread - how are we not seeing dead cats lying all over our gardens and parks?

Deathraystare · 02/04/2024 15:47

OMG this is all batshittery of the highest order (my apologies to bats, they are lovely!).

The one that wants to continue her cats going in next door's garden, is she going to come over to collect their shit????

Zyq · 02/04/2024 15:47

Sportycustard · 02/04/2024 12:32

Update

She has contacted at least 4 other neighbours and made similar requests. She's even asked our neighbour with a rescue greyhound to only let it in the garden on a lead. He told her to f* off in no uncertain terms.

She's clearly just mad and entitled. I've never known anything like this.

I hope every neighbour she has contacted has told her to get real?

Giving her the benefit of the doubt, she may not have realised that cats avoid plants that are toxic to them. Not sure if there is anything easily available online that says that, but if you do find anything it might be worth giving her a copy.

Fraaahnces · 02/04/2024 15:48

What a looney! Does she have kids? If not, what if she gets pregnant? Are you going to have to censor your groceries? Stop using toothpaste with fluoride? Stop eating nuts, gluten & dustmites? She’ll have to get rid of the cats!!!

Misthios · 02/04/2024 15:53

Her animals are not your problem.

MarkWithaC · 02/04/2024 15:55

I agree it's good that she's behaved like this with lots of people; everyone will know exactly what she's like and won't be taken in if she tries any divide-and-conquer shite.
I cat-sit for friends with glorious rhododendrons and a cat who, bless her cottons, is not the brightest, but she manages not to eat them and poison herself.

LizzyA123 · 02/04/2024 15:59

Tell her she has several options if she is so concerned that nearby gardens are unsafe for cats.

  1. Do not get cats!
  2. Cat proof her garden to make sure they can’t get out.
  3. Keep indoors permanently.
  4. Install a catio.
  5. get cats and let them roam at will, accepting the possibility of mishaps.

For all options, except No 1, she needs good pet insurance and her cats need to be vaccinated, neutered and chipped.

What does she plan to do to prevent her moggies from getting into fights with other cats, running across the road or pooping, scooping, spraying, vomiting and leaving remnants of prey in her neighbours’ gardens?

zingally · 02/04/2024 16:07

Your neighbour is off their rocker.

I grew up with 2 cats and a large, mature rhododendron plant. Both cats thrived, lived to grand old ages, and funnily enough, DIDN'T eat random garden plants.

StaunchMomma · 02/04/2024 16:34

Sportycustard · 02/04/2024 12:32

Update

She has contacted at least 4 other neighbours and made similar requests. She's even asked our neighbour with a rescue greyhound to only let it in the garden on a lead. He told her to f* off in no uncertain terms.

She's clearly just mad and entitled. I've never known anything like this.

This has proper tickled me.

She's utterly batshit, OP!

Glad all of your neighbours are onside with you.

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 02/04/2024 16:38

Solmum1964 · 01/04/2024 16:39

We have azaleas and rhododendrons in our garden.
Had cats for many years and many others visit the garden.
I've not heard of any issues so I'd ignore this!

Same here. Have never seen any cats try to eat them.
Tell her that if you see the cats in your garden you'll be sure to get the water pistol cannon out before they get a chance to poison themselves on the azaleas.

Msmumm · 02/04/2024 16:45

She's clearly bonkers and so self absorbed that she thinks she's right.
Nothing surprises me with people these day though. We had our former neighbours knock on our door and ask me to stop my two very elderly house cats from snoozing (indoors!) on my lounge windowsill as she was scared of cats. Im not quite sure how she though they would manage get through a closed window to her.
I told her I would have a word with them.

Fookintired · 02/04/2024 16:46

What a nutjob. Telling someone to put their dog on a lead in their own garden 🤣
This is very entertaining to read but I guess in real life is a pain in the arse to deal with.
With my track record of not getting on with neighbours I can't possibly advise. I'd be having fun with it and say "oh that's such a coincidence because I ordered ten more plants insert all plants poisonous to cats only the other day, they were on special offer and I couldn't resist."

Daffodilsarentfluffy · 02/04/2024 16:52

I once had a very irate ndn at my door. well actually she sent her small ds... Apparently my dcat was savaging her Boxer ddog in the communal garden!!
Ddog def gave dcat a very wide berth after that and all was harmonious...
That dcat (a feisty Persian) never failed to rule the roost wherever we lived.

bilgewater · 02/04/2024 16:58

I really love these threads. My neighbours have their own eccentricities ( as I'm sure do I) but the level of entitlement from this one's made my day!