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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell her to get lost?

459 replies

Sportycustard · 01/04/2024 16:34

Just got home to find a note from my neighbour.

"Hi Sporty, just wanted to let you know that we're rehoming a couple of cats in the next week or two. I can see from our upstairs windows that you have some plants in your garden that are poisonous to cats so I will pop round in the next day or so and point them out so you can remove them in good time for our new arrivals"

I've just done a quick Google and it looks like she is referring to a rhododendron that was a gift from a friend who has now passed away and an azaelia that was a 50th birthday gift. Both are established shrubs and mean a lot to me.

AIBU to tell her my garden will be staying as it is?

OP posts:
Newnamehiwhodis · 02/04/2024 18:30

YANBU and I’m a cat person. They need to not let their cats outside. They can’t control the world FFS

letitlego · 02/04/2024 18:32

Oh! I have loads of rhododendrons and recently got a cat

Theres no way I’m digging them all up

Nanna61 · 02/04/2024 18:34

YANBU your neighbour is insane! I trust she will be asking the local council to introduce traffic calming measures in your area to reduce the risk of her cats getting mown down!
I have 2 outdoor cats, I have no idea where they go and what they get up to, but neither have been poisoned by plants or anything else.

mags2024 · 02/04/2024 18:35

Has she any idea of how far cats roam? Will she be "having a little word with all the neighbours ? " l would be tempted to get a dog. Our Border Terrier is a great deterrent as she cornered on of our neighbours cats in our greenhouse. We rescued it and haven't seen any cats since. However we are several years on and every day my dog still checks out the greenhouse😂

KeepHopeful · 02/04/2024 18:38

The cats are far more likely - almost certain - to dig up and soil your garden than choose to munch on the shrubs that you love. Deal with two problems at once - tell neighbour your cherished shrubs are staying, and to keep her felines out of your garden, or provide cat deterrents at her expense. Politely - she probably thinks she's doing something wondeful!

pavedwithgoodintentions · 02/04/2024 18:40

Sportycustard · 02/04/2024 12:32

Update

She has contacted at least 4 other neighbours and made similar requests. She's even asked our neighbour with a rescue greyhound to only let it in the garden on a lead. He told her to f* off in no uncertain terms.

She's clearly just mad and entitled. I've never known anything like this.

Oh wow! She is clearly delusional. I'd anonymously send her the link to this thread.

KeepHopeful · 02/04/2024 18:45

I agree with a recent post. Yes send a link to this thread. Welcome her to the real world. And she's lucky you haven't got a dog with a high prey instinct!

Greenshed · 02/04/2024 18:45

Of course you’re not - she is, the stupid woman. Don’t even entertain her in conversation.

Greenshed · 02/04/2024 18:46

Just a thought - is she trying to April Fool you, given that she posted her note to you yesterday? 😂

listsandbudgets · 02/04/2024 18:51

I don't know about cats particuarly but I know dogs are careful and I am sure cats are the same.

Dogs can't eat chocolate - a few weeks ago my dog got hold of a box of Kiplings French Fancies - she ate the yellow and pink ones but left the brown ones

Dogs can't eat onions - Visitor not knowing this decided to give dog a bowl of stew she's not my favourite person but that's another story Dog ate everything except the onions which she carefully left on the plate...

Animals know - they're not stupid - the cats won't eat your fatal plants any more than humans would sit down to a feast of daffidols and foxgloves with a side dish of lords and ladies berries.

Your neighbour sounds dotty - I hope you'll all be telling her to keep her cats out of your gardens. Hopefully the felines will be more sensible than she is!

TheFormidableMrsC · 02/04/2024 18:53

Wow this is amazing! So glad you stood up to her. I have a cat. He doesn't eat my garden because if he did he'd likely die. I avoid lillies in the house but that's about all. She sounds utterly batshit. Hopefully she'll take the hint now and build a catio 🙄

strawberry2017 · 02/04/2024 18:55

Omg I actually love this because I can't believe someone would be so incredibly batshit crazy to think they could demand this!

Dibbydoos · 02/04/2024 19:02

Ask her to plant catnip in her garden so they stay in her garden.

TBH cats and other animals avoid plants they're toxic to., so the cats will be fine.

NickyT64 · 02/04/2024 19:04

I would be very careful that you don’t come home from work and find they’ve taken matters into their own hands.

masterblaster · 02/04/2024 19:06

Sportycustard · 02/04/2024 12:32

Update

She has contacted at least 4 other neighbours and made similar requests. She's even asked our neighbour with a rescue greyhound to only let it in the garden on a lead. He told her to f* off in no uncertain terms.

She's clearly just mad and entitled. I've never known anything like this.

Actually, the greyhound one is not a bad idea for a day or two. Greys are formidable cat catchers and it is a good idea to let the cat know that they are there before they blithely wander in. We did this when we got one, because we’d feel bad if he killed next door’s cat. The rest is bonkers.

mrscee · 02/04/2024 19:09

Really!! Surely there would be dead cats everywhere if they went in multiple gardens, she can't control where they go the cheeky wench!

JustFannyingAboot · 02/04/2024 19:15

You should warn her that batshit is also toxic. Tell her to keep to her side of the fence so you don't catch anything. Poor cats will probably end up rabid or something.

Inexpertjuggler · 02/04/2024 19:16

Sportycustard · 01/04/2024 16:34

Just got home to find a note from my neighbour.

"Hi Sporty, just wanted to let you know that we're rehoming a couple of cats in the next week or two. I can see from our upstairs windows that you have some plants in your garden that are poisonous to cats so I will pop round in the next day or so and point them out so you can remove them in good time for our new arrivals"

I've just done a quick Google and it looks like she is referring to a rhododendron that was a gift from a friend who has now passed away and an azaelia that was a 50th birthday gift. Both are established shrubs and mean a lot to me.

AIBU to tell her my garden will be staying as it is?

If they’re growing well in your garden, it’s highly likely neighbours will have them, due to similar soil in the area, so you won’t be the only one with these plants. Make this point to her. People tend to have the same plants for this reason.

OldPerson · 02/04/2024 19:19

Rhododendrums have been growing in gardens for as long as people have owned pet cats. As much as there appears to be a recent "big concern" among cat owners, cats have always seemed to be a lot more savvy and don't prowl around chewing poisonous plants.
But as it happens, cats hate lavender and lemon thyme, as well as a few other plants.
I'm sure you could compromise and invite them to give you (or buy) a few plants to plant around your garden or keep in pots. It will also discourage their cats from pooping in your garden.
Completely unreasonable to dig up your garden plants.
Just tell them you understand their concerns, but there is more danger from cars on the road.
But keep it nice. It's never worth falling out with neighbours.
Keeping a few pots of lavender, in your garden is more than enough gesture of goodwill.

NorthernSturdyGirl · 02/04/2024 19:22

Daffodilsarentfluffy · 02/04/2024 14:00

You need a No Trespassers sign. If her dcat enters your property tell her your solicitor will be in touch regarding it's prosecution...

Sadly, in this country, cats have a legal right to roam and cannot be done for trespassing! Oh to be a cat!

turnips4u · 02/04/2024 19:31

Sportycustard · 02/04/2024 12:32

Update

She has contacted at least 4 other neighbours and made similar requests. She's even asked our neighbour with a rescue greyhound to only let it in the garden on a lead. He told her to f* off in no uncertain terms.

She's clearly just mad and entitled. I've never known anything like this.

She's absolutely batshit to expect this. I have a dog and I'd also tell her to shove it up her arse if she requested this. She is insane.

Where do people get off being so entitled?!

AllyArty · 02/04/2024 19:34

That’s very pushy of her. Why should you change your garden to suit her and her new additions? Wish her well with her cats and tell her you won’t be altering your garden - what a nerve!

christmascalypso · 02/04/2024 19:36

How old is she? Is she getting dementia or something? She seems bonkers! And asking the dog owner to take his own dog in his own garden on a lead!! 😂😂

lemming40 · 02/04/2024 19:42

This can't be real 😂

saffronflower · 02/04/2024 19:42

Tell her you've just adopted a rat called Basil and for his protection, you want her to keep her cats on a lead when in her garden. He will be dining al fresco every day at 7pm on home made ratatouille on your garden patio so you expect the cats to be banished to her bedroom during his dining hour so he can eat in peace.

He's had a very hard life up until now and so you'll be playing Celine Dion's greatest hits loudly throughout the day as "my heart will go on" is the only tune that calms his shattered nerves and is part of his vet recommended music therapy. If she wont agree to this then clearly she's no animal lover at all is she?