Found first baby holiday so stressful

[Gretnafrew]

Booked a short UK break in Lakes with 11 month old baby, DH and dog. First holiday together for all of us and really looked forward to it.

Planned out one activity and dog/ family friendly restaurant lunch per day but in the end plans just went out the window as we found it harder to do baby's routine in new place and it just wasn't enjoyable. We were both exhausted by 6pm and ready to go to bed at same time as baby.

We've ended up coming home early and I feel like a bit of a failure tbh. I wasn't expecting anything super relaxing but I feel like we struggled to adapt even though DH is very hands on and we brought all the items we could think of for baby.

We could manage things like a short walk in baby carrier or stroll around nearby town with pram but going a bit further to do something for several hours like a day trip just felt like too much. Maybe I had unrealistic expectations but I've seen/ heard of others doing similar without too much trouble.

I've probably seen too many travel Instagram accounts where they make travelling with a baby look like a breeze and just really wanted to start doing some trips together.

Maybe IBU and just don't know how to travel with baby or was I silly to try and plan too much? We're not planning anymore holidays for a while now as feels like a waste of money but I'm feeling like a bit of a rubbish mum for not being able to take baby on trips successfully and finding it all so stressful.

Currently on holiday in Florida with my 5yo and 2yo. We went on our first holiday with DC1 when she was 3m and DC2 from when she was 4m (to Disneyland Paris). We've never found it stressful, but tbh our days at home are very busy (we live in London so we are out and about all day) so sticking with the usual routine works well for us. Our dcs really look forward to their holidays and always have a good time. For the adults it's hard work, but our holidays even pre-dc always involved lots of planning and sightseeing/activities, not lounging by the pool.

We mostly don't drive on holidays so don't lug lots of baby gear around, I breastfed and just hired cots and our main buggy is a Yoyo normally so very compact anyway. Now the youngest is a toddler, she still breastfeeds at night but she just eats whatever we have, and she naps in her buggy when we're out with a snoozeshade.

Yup same here.

Went away abroad when DD was 6 months old. Just the three of us.

The only hard part I found was not having a kitchen in our hotel. Big mistake.

I didn't have any expectations when I went away, I also didn't plan anything.

We're going away in a few weeks to a hot tub lodge with our now 2 year old and 8 month old (don't worry. No hot tub for them lol just us when they're in bed)

It's thankfully only an hour from home, so not too far and we will be sticking to our same routine.

We didn't even have the headspace to think about travelling with a baby, but Butlins tots week for a 2-year-old was everything I could have wished for even though I thought it would be cringeworthy. Super easy to entertain them, highly affordable, and we had a dining plan so someone cooked for us twice a day, that was my base requirement for a holiday!This thread has made me wonder again about being slightly braver for age 3-4 before school starts. But with a baby I couldn't imagine going further than grandma's house.

I just think we're all different, and more importantly babies/children are all different.
Travelling/holidays with mine have always been our absolutely favourite thing to do, we both have very difficult stressful jobs so when we're off work everything else is a breeze!
Ours are currently 6 and 3 and have been to Majorca, Menorca, Disneyland Paris x 4, Salou, Portugal, Belgium, Holland, lots of CenterParcs/Haven. We have a UK break at least 6-8 times a year (even just a night or 2 in a Travelodge). Never ever try to stick to a routine on holiday and they've ate in restaurants/pubs/cafes at least a couple of times a month since birth.
Off to Florida in October and can't wait. I'm about as far from an Instagram/Backpack travelling mam as you could imagine but genuinely don't get any stress, so much easier than juggling everyday life at home.

In my experience it’s only from age around 3.5 that it’s become actually fun to travel with my ds. Still tiring but he appreciates being in a new place and seeing/trying new things. When they no longer nap you can be much more flexible with plans.

How can anyone be naive enough to think that the shit on social media is any kind of reality?

Every family is different.

We have never taken the kids abroad. I don't do airports and the like very well so it would stress me out with would make it miserable for everyone else. Last year we did a cheap term time caravan holiday (DD was starting school that year). Went with very low expectations. We would get up make packed lunches and drive out to some attraction suitable for a 2 and 4 year old. Let them wear themselves out, the youngest would then nap in car. An hour or so chill back at the caravan so books, cup of tea or whatever. Then stay close in the afternoon, so soft play, outdoor play area or pool. Dinner would then be self catering back at the caravan. After bedtime DH and I would break open a bottle of wine over a board game or cards as we normally wouldn't get the time at home. It's not how we would holiday before kids but lowering expectations worked well for us. This year we are planning a long weekend camping, kids will be 3 and 5 this time. Sure it'll be chaos with not breaking their necks on the tent pegs but we'll give it a go. When we are away we try not to stick too rigid to routines or plans and just go with the flow.

I travelled with mine from almost day dot, so it was part of life. They’re very easy going, which probably helps too.

11 months is a rubbish age, they’re mobile and easily bored, quite strong willed. It’s much easier with babies.

We could manage things like a short walk in baby carrier or stroll around nearby town with pram but going a bit further to do something for several hours like a day trip just felt like too much

Why did doing more than a walk feel like too much? And what was it specifically that made you both ready for bed at 6pm

Our child was a terrible sleeper so travelling made no difference to our tiredness levels or routine. We’ve travelled all over with him, good backpack to put him in and be as organised as possible with also low expectations.

Its a priority for us but we have been lucky that he has always been good in the car, we regularly drive 8 hours in a day and don’t have too much trouble (he’s 3 now). I think a fair bit of it is luck and you being relaxed with low expectations.

We had great holidays with ours when they were babies/toddlers, but often did self catering while buying in what we could eg French caravan sites often had takeaways selling roast chicken and fries and we just made the salad! We did one hotel stay where we knew the hotel already and how well it caters for DC. We did Disneyland with a baby , a 3 year old, a 4 year old, and drove from NW England to Austria and back with a 2 year old.

The trick is to make sure you’re well prepared and think through what one of you will do with the little one while one of you is with the older one. Make sure there’s a toddler friendly swimming area and a play area on site or nearby. Eat your evening meal with them early and then put them to bed and sit out on the caravan decking or hotel balcony with wine and snacks. We love travelling and there is no way I would have gone without a holiday for years.

Yes, they take some effort to plan and do, but we were always willing to do that. A long summer stuck at home if we could afford not to? Not a chance.

Kids are older here now (7+) but we did Cornwall beach holidays for years. June and September to avoid school holidays. It is easier with one baby though - they fit in with you.

First baby we tried to stick to routine but had given up by the time baby two arrived. I think trying to stick to routine is the killer on holiday. Babies are pretty flexible. You can re-establish routine in two days when you get home

I remember my youngest first holiday. 2wks chasing her around the pool in Tunisia! We did make some nice memories but once they are 4 plus it’s easier. My youngest is 16 now and holidays are holidays again!

I didn't enjoy holidays until my kids were around 5 and could do activities reliably. Before that it's just the same shit but different location without all the usual things that stop the meltdowns.

Yeah this was our experience. We're definitely very, very lucky! Travelling with our son has always been a dream thankfully. Covid stopped us taking him abroad until he was 18 months however so his age was definitely also a factor in how well it went!

Next holiday isn't until August sadly but this time we'll have a three month old as well 😬 We've picked a pool apartment in Vienna over our usual Italy due to the city having brilliant public transport and lots of brilliant looking museums. I'm so excited 😬

It does irk me when people issue a blanket statement like 'you can't have a holiday with children' because, honestly, it all depends on how you personally define holiday. Ours have always been go, go, go city breaks so adding a child into that was actually pretty easy 🤷🏻‍♀️

When DD was a baby we had a camper van - it was big enough to fit in a small travel cot, it worked well for us as could stop anywhere for naps or feeds, even just for days out
The longest holiday we had in it was 2 weeks travelling across France and Spain
Sadly when DS came along it didn’t work as well for toddler plus baby so we had to sell it

When both ours were <1 I think we only went to centre parcs....out of season. We didn't try and go abroad or have our pre-kids holiday.
We were happy with that. Places like CP are great because you can prebook the cot and high chair etc. We got to relax. We couldn't afford multiple holidays and minibreaks

We also did day trips like Chester zoo and never had an issue with a full day out of the house.

We didn't go abroad until after we stopped bottle feeding....this made things much easier once they were on cows milk.
Holidays abroad stopped involving day trips and were focused around being outside early, and nap times for everyone.

Once they were big enough we really enjoyed those family resorts with kids clubs.

No it's not the same as pre kids and I am sure some people would scoff.....they are not high brow cultural trips or active holidays. But it was a break for us too. The time they were in kids club was our time.