How to appear rich?

[happyasharry]

I know this is crazy and it's a million miles away from how I normally think but I have a reunion coming up soon and I don't want to be the 'poor' one.
We have a 3 bed semi, a 3 year old Volvo and we're really strapped at the moment. I have a college reunion soon and most of my friends have travelled the globe, found rich spouses and live the dream.
Anyway, for one night only I want to appear like them. I love my life and I am proud of what we have achieved as a family but this is playing on my mind. Any idea how I can achieve this and just fit in a bit?

Wrong.

You’re confusing large logos with actual understated designer clothes

I'm really not confused. You might be confused about what I'm saying. That's ok.

Well who the fuck does then?! 🤣

Please do explain then if you think I’m confused.

I will reword my post to help you.

You said rich people are secure in their wealth so don’t feel the need to outwardly display it.

I was explaining (as you may not know) that there is a difference between wearing heavily logo’d clothes / accessories and understated, logo free high quality clothing from brands that the pp listed. They don’t have to be new, flashy and obviously designer but if they are cash rich, they will be good quality and expensive.

The MN myth that rich people roll out of bed in Primark and dog fur and that it’s poor people buying Loro Piana on credit cards just isn’t true.

Edited to say - they are still outwardly showing their wealth, but only to others who also know what signifiers they’re looking for. Ie not a YSL or LV heavily branded bag

Turn up in jeans and a hoodie and tell everyone you're the ceo of a tech start up company

The one thing you can absolutely guarantee a rich person will never do is ask you about money. If someone asks you where you live, what you drive and where you went to school they are 100% not wealthy, they are anxious arriviste. Real wealth takes different forms but all wealthy people would find open discussion of wealth like this unbearably gauche.

I’m really not a fan of people pretending to be something they are not in any walk of life. Partly because I disapprove on principle of the judgement but it’s also entirely self defeating because you will never be able to disguise this enough to convince others that you live in a completely different world.

People who want to look rich and don’t really understand how to do it.

Its not quite true that rich people don’t wear designer clothing: they do. But what they don’t wear are visible labels.

Good skin, good teeth, expensive haircut and neatly manicured nails.
Then just dress in something you already have that makes you feel happy about how you look, bring your best manners and enjoy yourself.

Being relaxed and comfortable in yourself will make you look far richer than trying to rent yourself some designer outfit you have to worry about returning, so you spend the whole time being careful not to spill anything on it.

Public school types are always asking each other where they went to school so they can work out who they know in common. Who was at Eton with who’s brother, who played who at tennis etc.

The one thing you can absolutely guarantee a rich person will never do is ask you about money. If someone asks you where you live, what you drive and where you went to school they are 100% not wealthy, they are anxious arriviste.

I have found the very wealthy ask what do you do, what does your DH do as if keen to know where to place the person in their hierarchy.

@IthinkCarolislonely

Public school types are always asking each other where they went to school so they can work out who they know in common. Who was at Eton with who’s brother, who played who at tennis etc.

They do, it’s true. But no more so than at a reunion of people who all come from the same area and went to one of two comprehensives. It’s a way of creating shared history and placing people.

What I meant is anyone who asks a stranger at a first meeting where they went to school would seem very gauche and someone who was completely comfortable with their social status wouldn’t do this.

Correct, they really don't and never did. Really wealthy people are dressed appropriately for the situation in hand. They have lovely quality outdoor gear, have lovely quality ski wear, have lovely quality evening dress, lovely quality riding gear. The land rich but money poor type of wealthy will wear more battered gear but it will still be top quality.

I would consider where do you live and what do you/your DH do are sort of normal conversation starters, though?

Urgh. I would swerve anyone who asked me this. Particularly “what does your husband do?”

Utterly gauche

Rich people don’t wear expensive clothes to show off their wealth.

They wear expensive clothes because

a) they’re the stores available to them. If you’re in Capri for the weekend and it’s a bit breezier than your summer wardrobe allows for you’re going to nip into Brunello Cuccinelli or Loro Piana and

b) you’ve got limited time so you’re calling your favourite boutique or again nipping into high end stores because you know you’ll get 1:1 service and someone to dig out everything you might want without having to trawl the shop floor

Yes- it would be very odd for anyone to ask which school you went to at a school reunion!

You can't fake the house, car or whatever, - and no point - but nothing wrong with looking fabulous. Good hair, good clothes. Get a great cut and blowdry (and colour if you need it), and hire a fuck off outfit from https://www.hurrcollective.com/ or similar.

OP needs to clarify what kind of rich she is facing.

Why don't you take some elocution lessons in preparation?
You could make out that you live on a country estate and that you have a second home in the south of France!

You can also get some pretty good fake Rolexes online!

No idea what any of those are other than Chloe- I have a couple of see by Chloe dresses
(and technically a millionaire)

I am 51 years old, and have lived in a lot of places across a lot of countries, and while I’ve often been asked, understandably, what I do for a living, I don’t think I’ve ever been asked what my husband does. Unless I referred to it for some reason.

So you've never sat next to someone at a dinner party and had a conversation about your work and your partner's work? I actually think that's a bit odd.

I've had plenty of conversations about my work but I would be extremely suspicious of anyone who asked that as an opening gambit or in an first conversation. It immediately suggests someone with a "status radar" who will pass you by if they don't think your job is glamorous enough and I dislike such people intensely.

Never about my partner's work. Not in a million years. That reveals a set of very backwards assumptions: firstly that this person assumes that your partner is the breadwinner purely because they're the man which is not the case with me, I've always out-earned my partners. Secondly it shows them to be the kinds of people who are impressed by people's jobs and I would go to the ends of the earth to avoid such people.

So no, yuck. I would avoid people like this.

I quite often ask people what they do if I’m forced into a ‘stuck at a dinner table’ type situation, because it gives me something to ask them about and 99% of people are happy to talk about themselves.

I don’t work because I’m disabled, and before I was disabled I was a student… so I’m definitely not cruising for people of the correct status (DW doesn’t have a high status job either)- just trying to set people off talking so I’m not forced to be animated 🤷‍♀️

YABU.

@IthinkCarolislonely

I quite often ask people what they do if I’m forced into a ‘stuck at a dinner table’ type situation, because it gives me something to ask them about and 99% of people are happy to talk about themselves.

Yeah I can understand asking someone what they do if you are stuck for a bit of chat but asking them what their spouse or partner does is tacky.

Just absolutely no need except status probing, and pretty misogynistic in what it reveals about their expectations around men’s and women’s income.