How to appear rich?

[happyasharry]

I know this is crazy and it's a million miles away from how I normally think but I have a reunion coming up soon and I don't want to be the 'poor' one.
We have a 3 bed semi, a 3 year old Volvo and we're really strapped at the moment. I have a college reunion soon and most of my friends have travelled the globe, found rich spouses and live the dream.
Anyway, for one night only I want to appear like them. I love my life and I am proud of what we have achieved as a family but this is playing on my mind. Any idea how I can achieve this and just fit in a bit?

It is my norm. Off the top of my head, I know 10 multi millionaires (both cash and assets). Not a single one wears a conspicuous consumption label. Scruffy (rich, lovely) bastards!

They may spend on decent outdoor / life saving kit or clobber but if you saw them on the tube, their Rab jackets would not give them away. Jeans are from Gap, Levi or M&S, jumpers are Guernseys or M&S or Uniqlo cashmere.

Their accents might be a giveaway tbf!

The rich don't talk about money or boost about what they spend it on. If they are over the top boosting they probably aren't as rich as you think and it could all be mortgages, loans and credit cards.

I had this at a private school reunion a few years ago. A few turned up in designer clothes, I just wore my usual stuff (high street) plus designer handbag and diamond studs. But you could see a few (not all) were eyeing each other like lions eye up gazelles for dinner with envious covetable looks.

Brilliant. Spot on.

OP, it’s how you walk, talk and hold yourself

I love my life and I am proud of what we have achieved as a family

You can't be, surely, if you want to appear to be something you're not?
I honestly would either go and be fully myself, or give it a swerve and work on my self esteem (or on how to fulfil some goals that might get me closer to what I feel is missing).

Piece of piss….

here you go @happyasharry

Holidays
you went on holiday to ikos Olivia but wish you’d booked ikos dassia as you went there last year and it was nicer overall. Aren’t ikos resorts great, everything is included and the childcare is just fab!

Schools
Obvs State for primary (you aren’t a pushy tiger mum!) kids need to be kids <sage and knowing head nod>

They are sitting for all the usual indies (google a couple) for 11+ as they are sooooo bright but you are considering your options due to the excellent state schools in the area andddd your liberal left conscience… also the uni entry admissions favour state schools so….. who knows where little Hugo will go…. 🤷🏻‍♀️

houses
we live in X <insert vague area>. It’s nice enough, DH wants to move to even fancier area Y but the kids are settled and you don’t fancy moving again now you’ve had the kitchen extension done… the custom cabinets took an age to fit…!

you’re welcome…

But just why? This is so ludicrous. Just mind bogglingly so.

I've been to a few of my DH's school reunions- over achieving selective school.

You can easily get 'the look' - all the blokes look like they have just turned up to watch the Six Nations at Twickenham.

The 'talk' is much harder. When they are busy discussing whether their children should go to Westminster or Winchester you know it's time to talk to someone else.

Interestingly the 40-something reunions are a lot more fun than the 30-something ones. Once everyones in their late 40s, half of them are burned out and miserable. The chat becomes a lot more level.

I've thought about this, i obviously won't do it because I'm not crazy.

In my fantasy I have a lot of excellent plastic surgery, dress beautifully and hire a very very expensive quiet luxury car. I'll hire a gorgeous actor to be my husband and we'll view a lot of farms and the local manor house.

I'll hire more actors to go with us and discuss razing the village to the ground to build 'the complex'. 'We'll have to have the locals removed' we stage whisper. The troupe of actors follow me with clip boards. We discuss where to put the helipad.

Perhaps I'll hire a security detail too, who follow in an armoured vehicle and talk importantly and wear ear pieces.

Also I think I'll say 'I'm afraid it's all rather hush hush' if asked what I do for a living. I can also get the security detail to bundle me away like they do the president at the end of the evening.

I think you should just get your hair and nails done very nicely and treat yourself to a classy outfit.

Rich people dont try hard.....

Makeup
Neat hair
Few key accessories

Mine too.

They alao drive oldish cars

The things that matter to some people really are mind boggling.

Not sure what's more lamentable, trying to make out you're wealthy when you aren't, or being obnoxiously vocal about bagging yourself a wealthy husband.

Omg you invented post it note glue?

Yes, what I meant is generally when you’re out with your friends no one gives a stuff what you’ve got or haven’t got but at reunion type events you’re always silently eyeing up things, at least I’ve noticed it anyway. But then I went to a private school for 3 years and was shocked when on mufti day one girl turned up dripping in designer labels (clothes and bag) worn to show off the label, whereas most of us were in normal high street clothes. In fact I had a small Gucci logo bag (canvas and leather) that my nana had given me and I’d brought it in, but I had no idea it was really designer, it was just a pretty bag to me with a logo which I actually found a bit boring.

When I was out recently with a new friend the first thing she drew my attention to was her Valentino rockstar shoes (in nude) which looked crippling to wear and I sort of laughed because I’ve seen the exact copy in Primark. She wasn’t exactly flaunting her wealth though.

Absolutely this is my experience,

if I had to explain how the truly wealthy dress to people who do not know , the most recognisable would be like the royals. It’s the easiest and most accessible explanation, be it Harry Megan, William, Kate or if older, Charles, Camilla.

Nothing is branded , nothing is flashy, nothing is done in unless they are gardening or,pottering, but it’s the cut and material. The shoes, the hair, the bags, the discreet jewellery, You know it is expensive and not markies or primark.

people have these odd stereotypes in their heads, and then argue blind wealthy people all walk around in old done in clothing.

I didn't go.

Decided it wasn't worth the inevitable comparisons.

I do like to know how people have done and are getting on but not that much.

My friend is far from tight, but not 'in your face' with it either. Very lovely people.

Tell them you invented Post it notes

True wealth is quiet.

drive your car and wear your clothes with pride. The posh cars are usually taxed to the hilt business cars and beautiful clothes are on credit. Don’t do this for one night. Be true to yourself.

I rely on a single statement piece- either obviously quality footwear, quirky but placeable handbag or my late grandmothers diamond tennis bracelet which is an absolute belter. I have a public school accent which means I can pull off 'well to do' despite being a welsh farmer who's most exotic outfit usually is a set of waterproofs and a pair of chammy's covered in mud and swearing like a sailor. In fact I love going to posh events and seeing people who know me in normal real life- they look gobsmacked! I'm told I come across as landowner/lady of the manor rather than the tenant farmer that I am 😂

However, if you are proud of what you do, own it. I don't go to events to seem rich (I'm not) I go to events to have a good time and hopefully try not be put in the 'feral woman who farms' bracket where everyone avoids you in case you ring them for some help a few weeks later!

I wish I had a 3 bed semi and a 3 year old Volvo btw... I have a very cheap car and a house that's falling down (that I don't own) I bet a lot of their posh cars will be on a lease and they'll all be mortgaged up to the hilt with granny paying little Tallulah-belle's private school fees! You've got nothing to prove to them- if you're happy then that's better than marrying a rich spouse who you actually can't stand but have to stay with for financial reasons!

This money argument on here is about new or old money really, the latter tending to drive beaten up old cars and wear cashmere with holes in rather than pristine brands and the latest model of car. That’s why they’ve got money in the bank, they don’t spend it or flaunt it in a gauche manner.

I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who thought a 3 yo Volvo wasn’t that old. I think you should be yourself and be happy OP, anything else is pointless and fake.

Like PP suggests, you could say you invented post its

I love my uni reunions. At the last one, someone flew in from New York on his private jet, and someone else had donated a building to the college. I'm not even going to attempt to compete with that level of wealth also those people are dicks.

Just look shiny and polished, and be absolutely confident that you are living your absolute best life. I am lucky that I have quite an interesting job, and people do want to hear about it, even people with private jets.

Rock up in a limo and tell them you invented post-its.

Shoulders back, tits out.