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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To report this to my manager?

121 replies

Thelordnelson · 31/03/2024 12:14

Colleague had an incident and has been off work a long time as not able to drive due to injury. Our job involves some driving and not able to work from home.

Colleague lives quite some distance away and our manager is young and inexperienced and appears not to question anything colleague says, just keeps taking the sick papers that are on a monthly basis.

I was on a day out yesterday and saw colleague driving into a shopping centre car park. I stayed parked up and they went into the store and exited carrying heavy cans of paint and some lengths of timber. Seemed not to have any issue with walking, lifting or driving.

As it happens we don’t actually need colleague back as we’ve all absorbed their work easily. They were a difficult person anyway and none of us want them back.

Torn as to whether to mention I’ve seen them or not. I have no evidence so am thinking just stay quiet. I am so annoyed though, they’ve had nearly 3 months full pay on the sick since the beginning of the year.

OP posts:
Jennyjojo5 · 31/03/2024 16:22

CaterhamReconstituted · 31/03/2024 16:19

Slightly unfair. I don’t agree with this view that you cannot say anything because you are not a doctor or don’t know the person’s full medical history. A bit of common sense comes into it, we all know the type of person who swings the lead. I remember a story once about a guy on long-term sick who was refereeing football matches at the weekend. Are we not allowed to use any judgement and common sense to say, hang on a minute…? It’s also not true that it isn’t your business. If your work is harder as a direct result of someone’s dishonesty then it’s absolutely your business.

Edited

so someone off work long term sick has to be holed up in their bed 24/7 just to keep you happy??

ilovesooty · 31/03/2024 16:26

CaterhamReconstituted · 31/03/2024 16:19

Slightly unfair. I don’t agree with this view that you cannot say anything because you are not a doctor or don’t know the person’s full medical history. A bit of common sense comes into it, we all know the type of person who swings the lead. I remember a story once about a guy on long-term sick who was refereeing football matches at the weekend. Are we not allowed to use any judgement and common sense to say, hang on a minute…? It’s also not true that it isn’t your business. If your work is harder as a direct result of someone’s dishonesty then it’s absolutely your business.

Edited

A colleague of mine who was off long term sick for mental health issues was reported for refereeing football matches. He subsequently had to retire from teaching on mental health grounds on a psychiatric and occupational health recommendation. He had checked with his doctor beforehand who explicitly said that it was an activity which would benefit his mental health.

It didn't stop my head teacher telling the entire staff that he'd been reported and was swinging the lead.

CaterhamReconstituted · 31/03/2024 16:28

Jennyjojo5 · 31/03/2024 16:22

so someone off work long term sick has to be holed up in their bed 24/7 just to keep you happy??

Not quite. But if you are out and about and you see something, someone who is meant to be sick running the marathon or whatever…should you ignore the data of your own senses? Pretend you haven’t seen it? Even when it has consequences for your own workload and is (if it turns out to be genuine malingering) profoundly unfair? I’m not so sure. It’s reasonable to raise a concern at least. Reporting something is not the same as accusing someone of anything.

Northernsouloldies · 31/03/2024 16:29

I worked with people who would pontificate what was wrong with someone when they were off and they would make it their mission to try and find out.
It's the worst kind of gossip and I told them straight that they should swap their work wear for a white coat and stethoscope....that's my definition of the .work police.

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 16:32

Northernsouloldies · 31/03/2024 16:29

I worked with people who would pontificate what was wrong with someone when they were off and they would make it their mission to try and find out.
It's the worst kind of gossip and I told them straight that they should swap their work wear for a white coat and stethoscope....that's my definition of the .work police.

Me too. And debate whether they thought however much time someone had taken ws acceptable.

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 16:33

I once worked with a woman who would time everybody's lunch break and keep a list of how many second over you were returning to your till.

When she became somewhat of an outlier she cried publicly and said 'it was so hard having to be the one to keep everyone in line,'

Bizarre.

OMGitsnotgood · 31/03/2024 16:36

You have no idea whether not being able to drive is the only reason your colleague is off work. For example, they might have PTSD related to the incident or they might have an entirely separate health condition you're not aware of.

NCForQuestions · 31/03/2024 16:37

CaterhamReconstituted · 31/03/2024 16:28

Not quite. But if you are out and about and you see something, someone who is meant to be sick running the marathon or whatever…should you ignore the data of your own senses? Pretend you haven’t seen it? Even when it has consequences for your own workload and is (if it turns out to be genuine malingering) profoundly unfair? I’m not so sure. It’s reasonable to raise a concern at least. Reporting something is not the same as accusing someone of anything.

It's exactly the same as accusing them. If you're not accusing them, why are you reporting them?

Faux naivety no doubt.

NearlyBritishSummertimeYay · 31/03/2024 16:38

Bluevelvetsofa · 31/03/2024 12:30

But if the reason they’re still off sick is because they can’t drive due to an injury and they’ve been seen driving, it makes a bit of a nonsense of the reason for not being able to work.

@Bluevelvetsofa

Just because they can, as maybe a one off, drive to their local shop, doesn't mean they're capable of the work driving required.

same with lifting/carrying etc. For instance I can carry a couple of paint tins across the carpark and put them in my car, but only as a very occasional thing and they'd have to be waist height to pick up. I couldn't lift them off the floor and I can't lift them above my shoulder height.

Things aren't always what they seem.

NearlyBritishSummertimeYay · 31/03/2024 16:39

Plus that kind of activity I can manage if I need to, but takes days to recover from, I couldn't do it 5 days a week.

CaterhamReconstituted · 31/03/2024 16:42

NCForQuestions · 31/03/2024 16:37

It's exactly the same as accusing them. If you're not accusing them, why are you reporting them?

Faux naivety no doubt.

I do actually get what you are saying. I personally have experienced the “work police”, the managers who clock-watch toilet breaks, the snitches, those who campaign to get people sacked, and I view these people as genuinely contemptible. It’s also true that you don’t know someone’s precise medical circumstances. I’m just saying that there may be occasions - and of course it’s a matter of judgement - where it may be appropriate to raise a concern. There may pieces of evidence pointing to someone being a slacker for example. You can’t just be a mug about it. Reporting something isn’t actually an accusation. If there is a good explanation for something, then no harm done. Obviously raising a concern should be done discreetly and not be a public accusation! That would be wrong.

TimesChangeAgain · 31/03/2024 16:47

CaterhamReconstituted · 31/03/2024 15:44

I understand the dilemma. Nobody likes a snitch, or being one. But this looks like crystal clear misconduct. Your colleague is taking advantage of the manager and disrespecting everybody else who works there. I would mention it. Just keep it factual. It’s then to up the management to deal with it.

It’s not crystal clear at all.

What if her fit note says “x must not drive because she does not have full control of her left arm”. So she’s deemed sick company insurance will absolutely not cover her driving. But she physically can, so she’s made her own (silly) decision and drove herself (likely to invalidate her own insurance).

CaterhamReconstituted · 31/03/2024 16:49

TimesChangeAgain · 31/03/2024 16:47

It’s not crystal clear at all.

What if her fit note says “x must not drive because she does not have full control of her left arm”. So she’s deemed sick company insurance will absolutely not cover her driving. But she physically can, so she’s made her own (silly) decision and drove herself (likely to invalidate her own insurance).

Ok. I suppose that could be a plausible scenario.

freakinthespreadsheets · 31/03/2024 16:49

Thelordnelson · 31/03/2024 12:31

I now know what we all suspected and that she’s swinging the lead.

Our manager is lovely but hasn’t a lot of experience in management and probably isn’t asking any questions - she’s clearly taking advantage of this.

Like I say I have no evidence so there’s no real point in saying anything. I’m just so bloody annoyed that she’s getting away with it. She was always complaining of her long commute so this no doubt will be dragged out for months. She’ll come back after a full 6 months of pay and be as much as a lazy pain in the backside as she was before. 😤

@Thelordnelson I'd mention it really casually and let the manager make of it what they will as if you're oblivious of the reason for absence and just want your colleague to get better

"Ooh did everyone have a nice Easter weekend? Yeah, I did too thanks. Bumped into Debbie at B&Q on Saturday picking up some paint and skirting boards, it's nice to see she's recovering well and back to driving after that awful injury"

Cyclebabble · 31/03/2024 16:55

I sometimes see similar threads on here where people see a colleague off with stress in the pub or out at the shops. Of course this proves nothing. Someone suffering from stress might be being encouraged to socialise or get out a bit more. Similarly you have no idea what your colleague has been advised. For example did their doctor advise them to take some small journeys and build up to driving longer journeys? I do not know. However what I do know is that it is not your concern OP. Question to ask yourself is if you and your team "liked" this person would you still be thinking about telling your Manager?

sweeneytoddsrazor · 31/03/2024 16:55

So she is 'swinging the lead' but you sit in a car park spying on her. Don't think I would want either of you in my team.

ilovesooty · 31/03/2024 16:57

freakinthespreadsheets · 31/03/2024 16:49

@Thelordnelson I'd mention it really casually and let the manager make of it what they will as if you're oblivious of the reason for absence and just want your colleague to get better

"Ooh did everyone have a nice Easter weekend? Yeah, I did too thanks. Bumped into Debbie at B&Q on Saturday picking up some paint and skirting boards, it's nice to see she's recovering well and back to driving after that awful injury"

How snide. Unlikely to work considering how loose tongued the manager has been.

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 16:59

@freakinthespreadsheets you ste exactly th type of office irritant we have all been giving examples of.

Northernsouloldies · 31/03/2024 16:59

Snide that was polite... poisonous bastard more like.

Remagirl · 31/03/2024 16:59

This is none of your business. A healthcare professional is signing them off as unfit for work. You don't know what the reason for that is.

AngelQuartz · 31/03/2024 17:08

If your work is harder as a direct result of someone’s dishonesty then it’s absolutely your business.

Incorrect. It’s nobody’s business why someone is off sick. You cannot prove ‘dishonesty’ by seeing them out in public doing physical activities.

If work becomes more difficult due to a team member off sick then it is the managers responsibility to find an appropriate solution wether it be temporary cover, re-distribution of tasks or something else. It isn’t for the rest of the team to speculate and report.

CaterhamReconstituted · 31/03/2024 17:11

AngelQuartz · 31/03/2024 17:08

If your work is harder as a direct result of someone’s dishonesty then it’s absolutely your business.

Incorrect. It’s nobody’s business why someone is off sick. You cannot prove ‘dishonesty’ by seeing them out in public doing physical activities.

If work becomes more difficult due to a team member off sick then it is the managers responsibility to find an appropriate solution wether it be temporary cover, re-distribution of tasks or something else. It isn’t for the rest of the team to speculate and report.

Agreed. But it’s wrong if someone is being dishonest about their sickness. And that directly impacts on you and your workload, so it is your business.

Cuppaand2biscuits · 31/03/2024 17:16

This happened where I work, someone off on long-term sick, on full pay due to a physical injury which she herself had shared quite openly with colleagues.
Was seen out walking and carrying shopping by several colleagues, including a manager. There was nothing they could do, the manager and a hr type person went to visit her at home but she told them she had good days and bad days and continued to be signed off sick.

AngelQuartz · 31/03/2024 17:17

CaterhamReconstituted · 31/03/2024 17:11

Agreed. But it’s wrong if someone is being dishonest about their sickness. And that directly impacts on you and your workload, so it is your business.

Edited

It isn’t the other colleagues business. Period!

It is up to the manager to find an appropriate solution to balance the workload.

If a colleague is being fraudulent about their sickness absences then it is up to HR/equivalent to investigate and take action. Which also means - it isn’t the other colleagues business.

Oblomov24 · 31/03/2024 17:20

I'd tell Manager and encourage her to refer to occupational health.