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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To report this to my manager?

121 replies

Thelordnelson · 31/03/2024 12:14

Colleague had an incident and has been off work a long time as not able to drive due to injury. Our job involves some driving and not able to work from home.

Colleague lives quite some distance away and our manager is young and inexperienced and appears not to question anything colleague says, just keeps taking the sick papers that are on a monthly basis.

I was on a day out yesterday and saw colleague driving into a shopping centre car park. I stayed parked up and they went into the store and exited carrying heavy cans of paint and some lengths of timber. Seemed not to have any issue with walking, lifting or driving.

As it happens we don’t actually need colleague back as we’ve all absorbed their work easily. They were a difficult person anyway and none of us want them back.

Torn as to whether to mention I’ve seen them or not. I have no evidence so am thinking just stay quiet. I am so annoyed though, they’ve had nearly 3 months full pay on the sick since the beginning of the year.

OP posts:
IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 15:10

OneMoreTime23 · 31/03/2024 14:58

That’s not what whistleblowing is. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Imagine

Hi, I think my colleague is off cause she can't drive. I don't actually know that

I was watching her in the car park and I saw her carrying paint cans

ilovesooty · 31/03/2024 15:13

shoppingshamed · 31/03/2024 15:04

Have you really never worked anywhere that people share their lives and discuss quite openly what's wrong with them?

I can't be the only person who has known the ins and outs of co workers medical issues, it's quite normal ine

I find it odd that so many posters on here seem to have jobs where no one ever talks about themselves

Of course I have. However if I worked with people like this OP and her tittle tattling colleagues I would be reluctant to share much personal information with them.

Whatevershallidowithmylife · 31/03/2024 15:16

I never would wish anyone to lose their job and the way you talk about her it’s not strange she’s staying off!

OneMoreTime23 · 31/03/2024 15:19

rookiemere · 31/03/2024 15:00

If the GP has signed this person off, then there is very little a manager could do about it, no matter how experienced they are. I get that it's annoying, but really if there is anyone at fault here it is the medical professional who is continually signing this colleague off.

Absolutely not true. A manager will be deciding, with HR support, when to invoke capability procedures. They don’t have to accommodate an employee being off just because a GP says so. There will be occupational health referrals and meetings to discuss whether return is possible, and whether adjustments are needed. Or, if return isn’t possible, the exit strategy.

Absence shouldn’t just be left to run its course (in the vast majority of cases). This is a key role of a people manager.

BobbyBiscuits · 31/03/2024 15:20

You can't really judge from the fact you saw someone for a couple of minutes carrying heavy shopping and driving. She has been signed off work. She hadn't been signed off driving or shopping.
You can do those tasks while still not being capable of work. Plus the manager would have to take your word against theirs. 'I saw x doing y, it means they must be faking their illness'
I can understand you don't think much of her in general. If she was really nice and good at her job, you'd probably give her more slack.
But hopefully she will end up leaving. And if she lies about stuff she will get found out soon enough. Best stay out of it and concentrate on your own work.

shoppingshamed · 31/03/2024 15:24

ilovesooty · 31/03/2024 15:13

Of course I have. However if I worked with people like this OP and her tittle tattling colleagues I would be reluctant to share much personal information with them.

Thats understandable but not what you posted, you said she shouldn't know not that you would choose not to say

We're all entitled to share how ever much we choose

burnoutbabe · 31/03/2024 15:24

Surely at most works you could just say "good to see Dolly at the end weekend at x car park. Hopefully she'll be returning soon"

Then manager can follow up if they want.

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 15:24

BobbyBiscuits · 31/03/2024 15:20

You can't really judge from the fact you saw someone for a couple of minutes carrying heavy shopping and driving. She has been signed off work. She hadn't been signed off driving or shopping.
You can do those tasks while still not being capable of work. Plus the manager would have to take your word against theirs. 'I saw x doing y, it means they must be faking their illness'
I can understand you don't think much of her in general. If she was really nice and good at her job, you'd probably give her more slack.
But hopefully she will end up leaving. And if she lies about stuff she will get found out soon enough. Best stay out of it and concentrate on your own work.

Edited

The colleague doesn't have to prove herself to Op

shoppingshamed · 31/03/2024 15:27

Whatevershallidowithmylife · 31/03/2024 15:16

I never would wish anyone to lose their job and the way you talk about her it’s not strange she’s staying off!

You are a better person than me, if I knew someone was being paid for swinging the lead (hypothetical not specifically this case) and it was meaning the rest of the team had to pick up the slack I would want them to lose their job so someone who was willing to work could have it

NCForQuestions · 31/03/2024 15:30

shoppingshamed · 31/03/2024 15:27

You are a better person than me, if I knew someone was being paid for swinging the lead (hypothetical not specifically this case) and it was meaning the rest of the team had to pick up the slack I would want them to lose their job so someone who was willing to work could have it

The point is, you don't know any more about whether they are swinging the lead than the OP knows.

They could be coming back on on Tuesday, be scheduled for surgery in a week or have other issues leading to sickness from work that (gasp!) means they can still leave the house to pick up paint at B&Q.

dottydodah · 31/03/2024 15:40

I think you have a point here.However I would not want to report them .There are many reasons why they may be off that are not obvious .It seems this woman is not universally popular and this may be clouding your judgment!

shoppingshamed · 31/03/2024 15:43

NCForQuestions · 31/03/2024 15:30

The point is, you don't know any more about whether they are swinging the lead than the OP knows.

They could be coming back on on Tuesday, be scheduled for surgery in a week or have other issues leading to sickness from work that (gasp!) means they can still leave the house to pick up paint at B&Q.

Did you miss where I said "hypothetical not specifically this case" in response to the poster who said they would never wish anyone to lose their job?

CaterhamReconstituted · 31/03/2024 15:44

I understand the dilemma. Nobody likes a snitch, or being one. But this looks like crystal clear misconduct. Your colleague is taking advantage of the manager and disrespecting everybody else who works there. I would mention it. Just keep it factual. It’s then to up the management to deal with it.

AtomHeartMotherOfGod · 31/03/2024 15:45

I wouldn't have any qualms telling your manager about it if it's well known they are off because of a physical disability. It seems like they are taking time off to do up their house on the sly.

Your manager should pull her in for a check in, draw them out in a lie about how physically disabled they are, then present the evidence. I'm sure if it came to it the manager could get CCTV from the store.

pinkfondu · 31/03/2024 15:47

The sick notes will be going into hr she will hit process shortly

AngelQuartz · 31/03/2024 15:48

YABU.

It’s not your business and the health of your colleague is nothing to do with you.

For all you know your colleague may be physically well enough to drive, lift loads, work etc. but may be suffering the after affects mentally. It’s up to the colleague, Occu health and HR if and when they return to work. Get a life.

Miniegg6 · 31/03/2024 15:50

I might just mention casually that I’d seen them at the weekend in the car park. That’s not really snitching.

But presumably they won’t be off sick indefinitely as there will be a HR procedure that kicks in eventually, so I would let them deal with it. Also I’d be surprised if you were privy to the full details of both their sickness and the processes/procedures your current manager has/has not put in place to manage this, so perhaps you can presume you also don’t have the full picture.

ilovesooty · 31/03/2024 15:52

shoppingshamed · 31/03/2024 15:24

Thats understandable but not what you posted, you said she shouldn't know not that you would choose not to say

We're all entitled to share how ever much we choose

Absolutely. The OP shouldn't be getting her information from the manager though, and she says that's where it's come from.

rwalker · 31/03/2024 15:53

Depends what the doctor has signed them off for
if the manager is presented with a sick note it’s very hard to challenge the legitimacy of a sick note
i would of thought occupational health would be involved for an absence of this length

its quite obvious you don’t like her

penjil · 31/03/2024 15:59

OneMoreTime23 · 31/03/2024 12:37

I don’t disagree.

But it doesn’t sound like the manager has a grip of this at all.

But it's still not the OPs right to get involved.....

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 16:11

penjil · 31/03/2024 15:59

But it's still not the OPs right to get involved.....

The OP is much better than the manager and the colleague and presumably everybody else, though.

Northernsouloldies · 31/03/2024 16:15

Ah the work police ... worst kind of work colleague..you are getting paid to do your job mind your own business and I take it you're not medically qualified.

CaterhamReconstituted · 31/03/2024 16:19

Northernsouloldies · 31/03/2024 16:15

Ah the work police ... worst kind of work colleague..you are getting paid to do your job mind your own business and I take it you're not medically qualified.

Slightly unfair. I don’t agree with this view that you cannot say anything because you are not a doctor or don’t know the person’s full medical history. A bit of common sense comes into it, we all know the type of person who swings the lead. I remember a story once about a guy on long-term sick who was refereeing football matches at the weekend. Are we not allowed to use any judgement and common sense to say, hang on a minute…? It’s also not true that it isn’t your business. If your work is harder as a direct result of someone’s dishonesty then it’s absolutely your business.

Jennyjojo5 · 31/03/2024 16:21

I was off work for 6 months with severe work related stress. Nobody apart from HR knew why I was off

in fact I was severely suicidal with the stress. Imagine how I felt when some brown nose said that they knew I’d been to a beach one day in the Summer and how I can’t have been that bad. As is happens, the mental health support I was receiving was all about encouraging me to be out and about and living a life whilst I was recovering

keep your nose out. You don’t know what is going on and probably only know half the story

Vistada · 31/03/2024 16:21

Hermittrismegistus · 31/03/2024 12:28

Colleague lives quite some distance away and our manager is young and inexperienced and appears not to question anything colleague says, just keeps taking the sick papers that are on a monthly basis

You want a manager to question a fit note provided by a doctor? Is your manager some type of medical professional that has access to your colleague's medical records?

Came to say this

OP - a managers job is not to question a fit note. At all.

It is to ensure that contact is kept and notes are logged