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AIBU?

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Original poster

Lodgers entitlements

78 replies

Exitstrategist · 30/03/2024 11:26

Hi- expecting to be flamed here but interested in what people think. We have a small flat (2 bedroom) in Dublin. Our interest rates have gone up three times so we needed to get a lodger. Husband uses the flat two nights a week. Advertised on well-known spare room type site. Woman interested. Works nearby. She is from the city so led us to believe she was just here during the week. Agreed a price including bills for Monday- Friday. Husband agreed with her that she could stay the occasional weekend if we aren’t using it. The problem is we haven’t been using it and husband has been rarely here too. We have come for the weekend- asked her to leave as kids need to use her room. There is stuff EVERYWHERE- she has clearly fully moved in and here all the time. Created a fuss about how inconvenient it was to move out. The place is filthy. Our bills are now reflecting that she is here full time. Husband does not want this. We have a lot of people using the flat in coming weekends and need her out of here but she is making us feel like the unreasonable ones. Who is being unreasonable? I have said to husband he needs to sit her down and go through house rules. Her bloody mate is storing stuff here too!!!

OP posts:
QueenCarrot · 30/03/2024 13:42

I know nothing about the law in RoI, but a lot about housing law in England and Wales and if this were happening in England you’d have a hard time convincing a Court that she was a lodger. This is not your husband’s main residence and courts do not look kindly on people trying to evade their legal responsibilities as landlords by eg reserving a room for their own use in a property they are letting out or by providing food to avoid calling a tenancy a tenancy. That may not have been your intention but I would say good luck trying to convince a court of that. Of course that may not be the case in RoI however the following would still apply -

Did you take proper legal advice before setting up this agreement? Are your mortgage company, insurers etc aware? Do you have a proper signed agreement? if the answer to any of those questions is no then you need to get legal advice immediately.

zzplea · 30/03/2024 13:49

There are two types of Mon-Fri lodgers.

One where they have exclusive use of the room, but only actually stay in it Mon-Fri. Weekends it's not used by anybody else and they can keep their belongings in at as normal. The landlord might allow them to stay for an occasional weekend.

The second is stricter: they only have use of the room Mon-Fri and have to vacate it for someone else (eg landlord's visitors) at the weekend. Usually given a lockable cupboard in which to put their (few) possessions. Then for the weekend it reverts to being the landlord's spare room and they can use it for guests.

Sounds like the OP wants the second option.

loropianalover · 30/03/2024 13:51

Eek. She’s a lodger in Ireland so she has no rights, just get rid of her. She knows well what the renting situation is in Ireland right now and she should have recognised what a good deal she has. She’s ruined it for herself.

I wouldn’t take in any more absolute strangers if possible. Do you know anyone locally who might have family members travelling to Dublin for work, construction? Anyone with kids attending college?

I don’t envy your situ as it’s not ideal to leave the flat empty either…

hobocock · 30/03/2024 14:09

Your DH has caused this. You say he is there a couple of nights a week - in which case he should also have been ensuring the place is clean. If she's a lodger is she expected to clean the communal areas or just responsible for her own room and cleaning bathroom/kitchen when she's used them?
DH has seen her moving more and more stuff in.
I don't really believe he didn't know what was going on and also didn't know that she was staying there weekends.

DH can either put stricter rules in place and check up on them or ask her to leave and be much more careful the next time.

Original poster
Exitstrategist · 30/03/2024 14:11

Oh without a doubt he knows it’s on him! He’s been a total ostrich- path of least resistance! He’s on the warpath now though after a weekend of cleaning

OP posts:
Micefeelpain · 30/03/2024 14:58

@Exitstrategist If you're anywhere within easy reach of the airport, I know someone who would be very interested 😜 He'd be happy with Mon-Fri with an odd weekend every six weeks or so with your permission.

Jarstastic · 30/03/2024 15:08

This is something you need to filter really well for.

we had similar with flat in London. But only had them for 3 nights a week I deliberately didn’t do Monday to Friday. Made sure they owned a nice residence elsewhere etc looked everything up online I think I even paid the £3 their house deeds on land registry. stated no visitors. it was somewhere to stay whilst working in London.

met 10 people maybe before finding the right one. Worked very well.

after a few months did offer they could bring their family to visit/use the flat for a weekend in London.

LastSeenInSanFransisco · 30/03/2024 16:10

Lodgers have virtually no rights thankfully because many of them being lone, single, young people can be an utter nightmare. Stuff in garbage bags, locks changed, done.

Harvestfestivalknickers · 30/03/2024 16:25

I think she's taken advantage of you. My BIL rents one of his rooms Monday to Friday, the guy who rents the room brings clean shirts and a suit for the week along with toiletries and laptop. Doesn't have 'stuff' stored in his room. That's the sort of arrangement I would expect for a Monday to Friday rent.

CandidHedgehog · 30/03/2024 17:25

Harvestfestivalknickers · 30/03/2024 16:25

I think she's taken advantage of you. My BIL rents one of his rooms Monday to Friday, the guy who rents the room brings clean shirts and a suit for the week along with toiletries and laptop. Doesn't have 'stuff' stored in his room. That's the sort of arrangement I would expect for a Monday to Friday rent.

In my case the whole point of being a M-F lodger rather than staying in a B&B or Travellodge or similar was so I could have “stuff stored in the room”.

If I wanted to haul toiletries, dressing gown etc. up and down on the train, I’d have paid less for a cheap hotel room. Your BIL is lucky to have found someone willing to clear everything out every weekend. Does his lodger not wash? If I’d done this I’d have had to carry damp towels around all day Friday unless I skipped showering before work!

iLovee · 30/03/2024 17:27

The Dublin housing market is insane at the moment! Give her notice and get a lodger who respects the rules - you'll find a new one in about 2 mins 🤣

WarshipRocinante · 30/03/2024 17:44

Exitstrategist · 30/03/2024 14:11

Oh without a doubt he knows it’s on him! He’s been a total ostrich- path of least resistance! He’s on the warpath now though after a weekend of cleaning

Quick question though; how has it gotten so messy and untidy and full of her stuff in just a few days? If he is staying there a couple days every week, how has he not noticed?

Or has this happened because he doesn’t actually stay there? If he isn’t using the place then she isn’t a lodger.

exerciseshmexercise · 30/03/2024 18:02

WarshipRocinante · 30/03/2024 17:44

Quick question though; how has it gotten so messy and untidy and full of her stuff in just a few days? If he is staying there a couple days every week, how has he not noticed?

Or has this happened because he doesn’t actually stay there? If he isn’t using the place then she isn’t a lodger.

Show quote history

That's what I don't really understand either - surely he was there a couple of days a week and noticed her stuff?

Original poster
Exitstrategist · 30/03/2024 18:35

Yes of course he’s noticed but it wasn’t totally obvious until we needed to use the room and with four of us there the stuff seems out of control. Yes he does stay there two nights a week- I literally have no reason to lie about that!!!

OP posts:
MiltonNorthern · 30/03/2024 18:38

You absolutely can't ask her to use her bedroom on weekends even if it's a Monday to Friday arrangement but you need her to keep all her shit in her room, keep the place clean and clear out every weekend. If she isn't happy to do that then give her notice.

Original poster
Exitstrategist · 30/03/2024 18:43

The stuff that she’s filled the place with is her friends stuff which arrived last week. I think it’s too outing to explain what it is but it’s basically a hobby she’s practising with stuff that takes up a LOT of room. Think career change.

OP posts:
CandidHedgehog · 30/03/2024 19:09

MiltonNorthern · 30/03/2024 18:38

You absolutely can't ask her to use her bedroom on weekends even if it's a Monday to Friday arrangement but you need her to keep all her shit in her room, keep the place clean and clear out every weekend. If she isn't happy to do that then give her notice.

Of course they can if that’s the original agreement. The room I rented M-F was occupied by someone else (who worked away in a different city and was only back on the weekends) every weekend. I knew that going in and it was reflected in the price.

It’s not an uncommon arrangement for this sort of M-F agreement where only a small amount of property is left in the flat / house because the lodger is supposed to have an actual home elsewhere.

The lodger shouldn’t care any more than they’d care if someone stayed in a hotel room when they weren’t there. It’s not their home and there shouldn’t be any emotional attachment the way there might be if it was.

Irishmama100 · 30/03/2024 19:14

She is an absolute idiot to behave this way as reasonable accommodation in Dublin is not easy to get. I would tell her to slide on and never offer the possibility of weekend stays again.

CandidHedgehog · 30/03/2024 19:18

Irishmama100 · 30/03/2024 19:14

She is an absolute idiot to behave this way as reasonable accommodation in Dublin is not easy to get. I would tell her to slide on and never offer the possibility of weekend stays again.

I think I’d go further and evict her entirely. She apparently thinks she can take over the flat the minute the occupier’s back is turned. I wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing with her at this point. What will she do next since she apparently thinks she’s in a (insanely cheap) flat share?

Edited: sorry I’ve just read your comment again. You may have meant that and the ‘offering weekend stays’ may have meant the next lodger.

Londonrach1 · 30/03/2024 19:21

Just evict her...from memory it's not long for a lodger..24 hours or something...look it up. Lodger has limited rights

JPGR · 30/03/2024 20:28

Irishmama100 · 30/03/2024 19:14

She is an absolute idiot to behave this way as reasonable accommodation in Dublin is not easy to get. I would tell her to slide on and never offer the possibility of weekend stays again.

Agree. Tell her it’s Monday to Friday only.

Concannon88 · 30/03/2024 23:28

Exitstrategist · 30/03/2024 11:26

Hi- expecting to be flamed here but interested in what people think. We have a small flat (2 bedroom) in Dublin. Our interest rates have gone up three times so we needed to get a lodger. Husband uses the flat two nights a week. Advertised on well-known spare room type site. Woman interested. Works nearby. She is from the city so led us to believe she was just here during the week. Agreed a price including bills for Monday- Friday. Husband agreed with her that she could stay the occasional weekend if we aren’t using it. The problem is we haven’t been using it and husband has been rarely here too. We have come for the weekend- asked her to leave as kids need to use her room. There is stuff EVERYWHERE- she has clearly fully moved in and here all the time. Created a fuss about how inconvenient it was to move out. The place is filthy. Our bills are now reflecting that she is here full time. Husband does not want this. We have a lot of people using the flat in coming weekends and need her out of here but she is making us feel like the unreasonable ones. Who is being unreasonable? I have said to husband he needs to sit her down and go through house rules. Her bloody mate is storing stuff here too!!!

If your husband is there 2 nights a week how did he not notice?? How did she lead you to believe she wouldn't be there? Did you not have anything in a contract?

Concannon88 · 30/03/2024 23:32

Bluefell · 30/03/2024 12:29

Thinking from the tenants point of view it all sounds pretty horrible. Is it her home or not?
It’s not her home. That’s the whole point. She’s not a tenant. She’s a Mon-Fri lodger who has a home elsewhere. It’s fairly common for people to enter into this sort of arrangement when their home is too far away from work to be able to commute every day.

Its definitely her home for part of the week and whatever the contract says

Concannon88 · 30/03/2024 23:36

Irishmama100 · 30/03/2024 19:14

She is an absolute idiot to behave this way as reasonable accommodation in Dublin is not easy to get. I would tell her to slide on and never offer the possibility of weekend stays again.

And the husband isn't an idiot?

CandidHedgehog · 30/03/2024 23:39

Concannon88 · 30/03/2024 23:32

Its definitely her home for part of the week and whatever the contract says

Show quote history

Have you ever been a M-F lodger? Because I have and that’s just not how I viewed it. It was a perfectly nice flat that I stayed in for work not in any way my home. I had a home elsewhere.

Maybe there are people who set down roots anywhere they stay more than a day or two but M-F landlords can’t be blamed for not expecting it or catering for it.