I hate our holiday and want to go home

[Backwoods57]

I need to rant.

Day 10 of a 13 day visit to the UK. We moved to the USA in 2014 and have to come back every year because MIL can't afford to visit us, and is scared of flying. We are in Aldershot/Farnham area. There is nothing to do apart from walk up and down dead high streets. Traffic is terrible, I smell the pollution and cigarette smoke everywhere.

If we don't come we get a massive guilt trip about MIL not seeing grandkids etc.

This trip cost $4000, we have done very little apart from visit family and sit in my SiL's cramped dirty messy house.

2 weeks of my 3 week vacation allowance has been thrown away. I have start working remotely for A. Something to do, and B so I can claim some vacation days back.

I miss my home, our dogs, I miss countryside and wildlife, I want my space back.....and tap water that doesn't taste like bleach.

I used to be in a few of those!

I just looked up "things to do with kids in Aldershot" and there were hundreds. Are you saying your MiL doesn't want to leave the house, OP? I can't think why else, unless it's been raining 24/7, you're all just sitting there.

Or have you found it too hard to return to driving on the left-hand side and haven't bothered to mention it? Have you any sort of UK license now? Not that its lack would stop you using public transport.

😂🤣 you miserable toad that cracked me up. Op how have you done this same thing for 10 years? I mean I get it must be awful so I wouldn't do it once never mind 10 years in a row. Would book a hotel/ cottage somewhere and plan stuff to do. I'd hate it in your sil's shoes even more bet she's counting down till you go.
I don't get it at all, kids are both under five as well so you did this same thing even before kids?

Very outing.. but I live right next door to Sov Hill!! Can hear the gunfire from my garden 😀

I wonder where the PP was talking about in Victoria!?

sorry to OP and others for hijacking.

i do understand how the OP feels, however, even if you only hire a car for half the time it’s worth it for another £200 or so when you’re already spending £2000!

I worked in Farnham and it’s not as bad as you make it out to be plus it’s pretty much easy to get to London , Windsor , Oxford etc. Not sure why you are relying on your SIL to drive you around. There are trains and coaches you can use. Sorry but you sound a bit miserable so you don’t have my sympathy

Put some perspective. You are 0.0001% of the population, who can afford to live in another country and afford to come back to your place of birth (I assume). Appreciate what you have.

Woking? Did you go to Pizza Express?

Your arrangements sound stupid.
Change the routine.
Options ..
Book MIL on a cruise to US to visit you one time.

Book for one week every eighteen months but hire a car and afford your own accommodation for the week.

Choose somewhere different to stay with MIL in the UK. The SIL can come up to visit for a day or two when school is not on.

Choose to stay at a holiday camp in France, The Netherlands, Spain etc and have MIL travel by train or invite SIL to join in and drive them from UK.

Organise it as your holiday and tweek it to include your MIL.

My guesses:

Moe
Shepparton/Seymour
Horsham/Ararat/Stawell

Expensive duty visits would not be so hard if you had time/money to have a family holiday as well. I suspect it's the fact that this is it for another year, which is rankling so much. I would also encourage you to think through other ways of doing it as one day, MIL coming to you really won't be an option as folks get old. Being stuck in this pattern for decades is going to build resentment and for the sake of your own MH you need a holiday!

Next year do five days with them and then go Greece or Italy or France for a week

I’m out. Shooting’s for cunts.

I think you are getting quite a hard time on here. Having long distance elderly parents is difficult all round (for them and for you). Older folks often don't feel confident to travel (even in the UK) and may not have much money to do so. Many aren't willing and able to travel and their mental worlds can get very small indeed.

Her son and GK live thousands of miles away and it's likely she would feel very hurt if you came for two weeks and buggered off for most of it (as sone posters are suggesting) She has likely been looking forward to this for months. But so much housebound time doesn't make for a good holiday for you- and you can't really say so because then she will be so hurt, and so on. Even if you adore your MiL, constantly being on your best behaviour in that scenario is not fun or relaxing.

There might not be the obvious easy answer that many seem to think there is. If you marry someone whose parents live a long way away, this is what happens. It's hardest when the kids are little as that's pretty unrelenting in and of itself, and you can feel as if your whole life is a slog in service to others!

Little suggestions to make it easier - break up the trip a bit - could you take 2-3 days somewhere as a family? Could you take a day trip or two on your own? Could you ask if she wouldn't mind babysitting so you and DH could have a meal together? If you can give yourself a small thing to look forward to every few days or so, it really does help, so the trip doesn't feel like one big block. And remember your MiL won't be here one day, and you don't want your husband to feel guilty that he didn't spend time with her whilst he could. He could also take shorter trips on his own sometimes - maybe a week?

So your idea of a great family holiday is killing things, riding fossil fuel powered vehicles through the "wilderness" and having loaded guns around your kids. Ooooookay then. I can see why you think the UK is "boring", but I have to say your idea of a good time would not be to everyone's taste.

Yep, a day out in Woking isn’t going to dazzle.

The problem is, OP doesn’t want to do this annual trip anymore. They should just take the time they’ve spent on this thread to explain it to their husband instead of moaning to strangers.

Ooh. Been there. In the second case on the way to Adelaide. Agree.

It’s not the fault of the U.K. that you only get a measly 3 weeks holiday allowance. That’s the US for you.

You could rent a car, and done all sorts. You’re near theme parks, train to London etc

@dayswithaY Yep, a day out in Woking isn’t going to dazzle.

Nonsense. Most people would say that a trip to Woking is pretty memorable 😉

I remember when Moe was said to stand for Moccies On Everybody. Morwell I mostly associate with pollution.

Mind you I couldn't talk, I lived in Pakenham for years!

@Ihearyousingingdownthewire 👏👏👏

I wonder if OP will bother coming back ...

This why we Aussies are biffing the ball of shite places to live in Victoria back and forth.

Hire a car, get on a train, use the buses. If you sit around expecting to be ferried everywhere, it's not surprising you're bored.

Exactly, I was going to mention that in a sort of derail apology to all the Brits! 😄

Wonthaggi
Traralgon.