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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Keeping sons money

85 replies

Piggybankme · 30/03/2024 08:10

I am a mother to a DS with disabilities. He's turned 18 and gets pip. I've been giving him an allowance from his pip money and saving the rest for him in an account of mine that I don't use. It's accrued a nice amount for his future but here is where I wonder if IABU.
I wanted to open him an ISA in his own name but I know he's probably going to need to claim UC in the near future and it would disqualify him as its over 16k
That PIP money is given because of the difficulty he has in life. I've saved it up for him so that he will have a bit of a buffer because he is more likely to need it than someone who can easily get work etc.
I don't like having his money in my name but I don't see another option. AIBU for keeping this money but earmarked for him. Obviously it would be complicated if I die as my other DC would technically be entitled to half. Arrggh my mind is all over the place. I just want to do everything possible to help my DS. Please be kind. He is entitled to the PIP and could have spent it all every month. Perhaps that's my mistake.

OP posts:
Anameisaname · 30/03/2024 08:12

It sounds like the best thing is to keep it in your name for him and then update your will to specify that money is for him so it doesn't get split
Alternatively you can look into a trust for him? But I don't know how that affects UC

MiddleagedBeachbum · 30/03/2024 08:12

Just make sure your other children know and it’s in the will that it’s his, I’m sure his siblings would understand?

ExpressCheckout · 30/03/2024 08:16

Yes, I was thinking a Trust. Either way, if it's quite a lot of money (which it sounds to be) then it would be worth employing an Independent Financial Advisor at this point. This would help you to address in advance a lot of potential issues, not just the one you're writing about here. I'm in no way rich, but I've had an IFA for years now, and it's been very helpful indeed.

Take a look here: https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/savings/best-financial-advisers/

Idtotallybangdreamoftheendlessnotgonnalie · 30/03/2024 08:18

You might want to organise a trust fund for him that is managed by yourself and someone else you can trust, or you can hire someone to do it but that costs money.

Trust funds that need permission for the benefactor to access the money dont count as income for the £16k benefit limit.

BookWorm45 · 30/03/2024 08:19

Is he able to manage his own money ? (depending on the type of disability) or would he always need someone else to manage this for him during the whole of his life ?
Or is it a case that he's just not very familiar with the concept of having his own savings account ?

If it's the second option - could he open an ISA for himself and you transfer a smaller sum (not the total of over £16k) so he can start to get familiar with the idea ?

sorrynotathome · 30/03/2024 08:23

Keeping the money so that he can claim UC is probably fraud.

MarieG10 · 30/03/2024 08:23

Piggybankme · 30/03/2024 08:10

I am a mother to a DS with disabilities. He's turned 18 and gets pip. I've been giving him an allowance from his pip money and saving the rest for him in an account of mine that I don't use. It's accrued a nice amount for his future but here is where I wonder if IABU.
I wanted to open him an ISA in his own name but I know he's probably going to need to claim UC in the near future and it would disqualify him as its over 16k
That PIP money is given because of the difficulty he has in life. I've saved it up for him so that he will have a bit of a buffer because he is more likely to need it than someone who can easily get work etc.
I don't like having his money in my name but I don't see another option. AIBU for keeping this money but earmarked for him. Obviously it would be complicated if I die as my other DC would technically be entitled to half. Arrggh my mind is all over the place. I just want to do everything possible to help my DS. Please be kind. He is entitled to the PIP and could have spent it all every month. Perhaps that's my mistake.

Agree to keep in your name, but when in an ISA suggest you look at investment funds. It is for the long term and holding cash will mean minimal growth

colouredball · 30/03/2024 08:24

Honestly? No you shouldn't be squirrelling away his money so he can claim further benefits. The disability factor really isn't too relevant here, having someone hold on to a load of savings in their name so you can claim UC is fraud. It is an unfortunate situation, but the reality is people should not be claiming benefits if they have huge amounts of savings.

Original poster
Piggybankme · 30/03/2024 08:26

Some good advice here thank you. He has about 6k in his name which he inherited when he was a tot. That's tucked away and he's not able to access it. So I guess I could open him an ISA for maybe another 7 or 8k which would get some of it into his own name but stay under the 16k. He's not able to manage his own money so I'll need to administer it all for him for now at least. The amount I've saved at this point could easily get gobbled up if he's unable to get work for a period of time or in an emergency. It's not much over the 16k but he has that 6ish thousand in savings already to consider.

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 30/03/2024 08:27

The PIP (in theory) is meant to cover additional costs due to his disability.

Are there additional costs? Could be wheelchairs, stools for showers, a car if he can't get the bus, support for mental health needs.

Have you been paying the costs yourself?

Original poster
Piggybankme · 30/03/2024 08:28

Yes we've supported him ourselves

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 30/03/2024 08:30

Ok, in which case maybe you can think of it as the PIP has been spent on the care costs and that this money is a fund you have saved which you will use if and when he needs help.

I wouldn't be setting up a trust for the amount of money you are talking about it's not worth it.

Quitelikeacatslife · 30/03/2024 08:31

Presumably you've been subsidising his living expenses yourself , you could have been using all his pip so it's not strictly his money. That could have gone into the family pot and it could be the extra to your salary that's been saved. So I can't see it as fraud or his really . However as you choose to call it his, it's good to have it earmarked for the future, for if you aren't around etc or if he needs something. Talk to the family and maybe put it in trust

colouredball · 30/03/2024 08:34

The amount I've saved at this point could easily get gobbled up if he's unable to get work for a period of time

Work? Why are you managing the money for him if he is likely to able to work? Let him start doing it. He is never going to learn this skill of you don't allow him the chance. Start by having his money paid into his account and take X amount from him leaving him the rest. See what happens. If he spends it all, he spends it all, you can't control his money because you don't like what he does with it any more than you can for any adult DC

I misunderstood your OP as him never being able to work due to his disabilities when you mentioned the UC - sorry.

newyear2024 · 30/03/2024 08:34

Just be really careful OP, there was an elderly man in my area arrested and charged for claiming benefits while having over 30k in savings. The last thing you want is to get your son in trouble for claiming while having large savings. (16k is alot of money for someone to have while claiming benefits)

Original poster
Piggybankme · 30/03/2024 08:37

colouredball · 30/03/2024 08:24

Honestly? No you shouldn't be squirrelling away his money so he can claim further benefits. The disability factor really isn't too relevant here, having someone hold on to a load of savings in their name so you can claim UC is fraud. It is an unfortunate situation, but the reality is people should not be claiming benefits if they have huge amounts of savings.

Edited

When I was saving this for him I had no idea about the rules of UC. We've been subsidising his financial needs as his parents. It's not quite as black and white as perhaps you're seeing it. I do value all advice and opinion though so thank you.

OP posts:
determinedtomakethiswork · 30/03/2024 08:37

These are your savings because you spent your own money on your son. I would put it into something like premium bonds or a separate account and I would explain to my other children why that was his money. I think you need to write a will if you want to keep that separate as well.

Menomeno · 30/03/2024 08:38

Also be aware that he’d have to declare anything over £6K savings to UC, and his benefits would be reduced accordingly.

colouredball · 30/03/2024 08:39

When I was saving this for him I had no idea about the rules of UC. We've been subsidising his financial needs as his parents. It's not quite as black and white as perhaps you're seeing it. I do value all advice and opinion though so thank you.

I hadn't consider that at all, I wouldn't put the money in his name I would just keep it and use as and when you see fit. That could be for anything he needs, or even wants.

Original poster
Piggybankme · 30/03/2024 08:40

Menomeno · 30/03/2024 08:38

Also be aware that he’d have to declare anything over £6K savings to UC, and his benefits would be reduced accordingly.

Thank you. He may not need to claim so it's hyperthetical anyway at this point but I'll consider that before I give him any money.

OP posts:
izimbra · 30/03/2024 08:41

If he's 18 he's entitled to claim UC under 'limited capability for work or work related activity' if he's not in work or education.

Except his 6K in savings means he's not.

If he had £5999 in savings he'd be entitled to roughly £600 a month in UC. Plus his PIP. PIP isn't means tested.

Notadoormat4 · 30/03/2024 08:41

So really the money has been spent but you've also saved alongside it?

Keep the money in your name because there have been costs previous to him turning 18.

colouredball · 30/03/2024 08:44

@izimbra

If he's 18 he's entitled to claim UC under 'limited capability for work or work related activity' if he's not in work or education.

It's not that simple. You have to be assessed to be in the LCWRA group. OP has already expressed that work will be a factor in the future so he may not actually be considered unfit for work.

Original poster
Piggybankme · 30/03/2024 08:44

colouredball · 30/03/2024 08:39

When I was saving this for him I had no idea about the rules of UC. We've been subsidising his financial needs as his parents. It's not quite as black and white as perhaps you're seeing it. I do value all advice and opinion though so thank you.

I hadn't consider that at all, I wouldn't put the money in his name I would just keep it and use as and when you see fit. That could be for anything he needs, or even wants.

Yes I think I'll keep it aside like I have done already and use it for his needs as and when. He may never need to claim UC just depends how the dice falls in his working life. We're not there yet with apply for work as he's in education still.

OP posts:
Gingerbee · 30/03/2024 08:44

I don't know your sons disability.
Please contact one of the disability organisations such as Mencap, Scope Autistic Society or whatever is best related to his disability.
They will be able to best advice you on trusts, wills, law etc.
I know several local organisations often have lawyers come and give talks with regard to savings, wills and planning for the future.

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