Keeping sons money

[Piggybankme]

I am a mother to a DS with disabilities. He's turned 18 and gets pip. I've been giving him an allowance from his pip money and saving the rest for him in an account of mine that I don't use. It's accrued a nice amount for his future but here is where I wonder if IABU.
I wanted to open him an ISA in his own name but I know he's probably going to need to claim UC in the near future and it would disqualify him as its over 16k
That PIP money is given because of the difficulty he has in life. I've saved it up for him so that he will have a bit of a buffer because he is more likely to need it than someone who can easily get work etc.
I don't like having his money in my name but I don't see another option. AIBU for keeping this money but earmarked for him. Obviously it would be complicated if I die as my other DC would technically be entitled to half. Arrggh my mind is all over the place. I just want to do everything possible to help my DS. Please be kind. He is entitled to the PIP and could have spent it all every month. Perhaps that's my mistake.

Agree. If he was never going to be able to work due to his disability, then fair enough. But op has said he will be getting a job. Therefore, he should seek employment.

We don't know how easily he will find work yet. It's all hyperthetical at the moment. If he can manage, then he will work. The pip should top up what's likely to be a low wage and the savings will be there to help him. He may never need to claim UC anyway.

Thank you to everyone who's offered advice. I'm sorry I haven't replied to everyone but I've read and digested all your comments.

I'll probably keep the money safe and use it towards his future needs of which there are bound to be many.

Just to add also. I've not been able to work full time due to his needs and I have never claimed any carers allowances etc. I'm his carer because I'm his mum so I didn't feel right being paid for it. With hindsight I probably should have claimed that.

Pip is for the extra costs that go alongside a disability. I admire you saving it, but it's there to make his life easier.

There isn't anything noble about refusing to claim carers. You're missing out on extra money that also go towards making life easier. How are you coping working part time and not claiming top up benefits?

I guess op wants to ensure his life is easier when she isn't around and will need a lot more support

But instead the rules insist you spend now rather than save for when you know you will need it - well if we had good care for disabled people it wouldn't be a problem but we don't . So they could spend it now easily , keep getting the credit , and then when the mother dies and the child needs someone to live in with them they will get someone once a day to wash their face . It would end up costing the state as much or more over the child's life but the state dictates how you spend

It's your savings OP - you could only save that PIP because of your work and actions - save it somehow and write the will accordingly

You should claim carers allowance in your name
It is also a gateway to other help & benefits.

He should claim universal credit in his own name, even if he doesn't receive the money. Because the National Insurance "stamps" go towards state pension & other benefits

You seem to have completely erased fathers.

Also, in this circumstance OP is hopeful her DS will be employed, the need for a live in carer is probably unrealistic.

you could be charging him rent now so it would be legitimate to be putting some of this money into your account. Also anything he has needed in the past. I would get proper advice though if you are worried about keeping him money secure for the future and he is not able to manage his own money.

Unfortunately you hear of cases of people scrimping and saving up their benefits, only to then fall foul of the savings rule. So I would keep that in mind

I'm surprised you could afford to use your own money to pay for his needs, while saving his dla if you don't work yourself due to his needs, you definitely should have been claiming carers of you haven't been able to work OP

This comment isn't intended to be a criticism of you - I know you have done your best. This comment is intended to be purely about the future and where you go from here. It is meant kindly.

You are creating a financial mess for yourself and your son. His PIP is money for his needs which you are his appointee for (I assume). You are spending some of your own money on his needs so then saying we'll it's not simply his money ....

You need to separate the two things. Imagine you were told today that in 12 months your son's finances and your behaviour as appointee are being audited. What would you do differently?

Whether that money hits an account in your name or your son's (which I think you would need power of attorney from the court of protection to manage so is perhaps not feasible at this time) it needs to be kept separate and managed appropriately.

You need to be confident that if the authorities ask you "can you show me how you, as your son's appointee, have managed his pip. You can reply "Yes - here is the account his pip goes into. Here is what he has spent it on (records/book/budgeting app).

Under your current system if a day service/ social worker/anonymous tip off accuses you of financial exploitation and you are asked to demonstrate how your son's PIP is being used what are you going yo be able to show them to demonstrate that your son is not being exploited?

You must also remember that you are managing the money on behalf of your son - and he should be included/his wishes paramount in any decisions. You say he might work so he has a good degree of capacity. You should help him manage his money- not take over. So if he wishes to buy a holiday or a computer and you would prefer him to save his money you need to discuss it and try to help him see the consequences of his decision but an adult has the right to make a bad or risky decision.

I may be going against the grain here but I think you need to separate what is PIP money and what is yours as you are making this very complicated and also potentially very unfair on your other children.

If you are saying you have technically spent the equivalent of the PIP but out of your ‘family money’ then this is exactly what the savings are- family money. Therefore, how you choose to leave money in your will is your choice but I’d recommend discussing this with other children if you intend to leave more for one child (albeit with good reason). It could cause very bad feeling towards their sibling when you are not around to realise they’ve technically had far more of the family money spent on them during your life due to their needs (which in whatever eventuality will have impacted on them) then again are being left more inheritance than them. It could lead to your most vulnerable child being isolated and they’re most likely to need their siblings support.

If you believe this is your son’s money, it needs to be in his name or you are at risk of committing benefit fraud. Yes it may affect means tested benefits, but that’s exactly what they are. MEANS tested- if you don’t ‘need’ it you shouldn’t get it.

I think you should be spending the money on your son's extra care needs. PIP isn't for saving it's a benefit to pay towards the needs associated with his extra needs. ( well aware you've paid for these yourself so far)
If you have any money left over from your own salary and want to save for him I'd put a little aside each month in premium bonds in your name or buy something that he and the family could benefit from, a caravan on a nice site, a holiday each year etc.

It was paid to you to do with as you wish. It's in your bank account, it's your's. If you still can claim carers. Carers, disabled people and the poor in general are being fucked over by this government. The billionaires of this country don't hand wring over their non dom status, neither do the wealthy when they overpay their pensions to pay less tax, or those grabbing useless contracts. It's only the most vulnerable who should analyse every penny they try to keep, so they can eat and keep warm.

It was paid to you to do with as you wish. It's in your bank account, it's your's.

This is incorrect.

Another thought is that as your son's appointee you have a duty to be able to show what the PIP has been spent on if asked by DWP ( I know that recent DLA awards have come with a letter to this effect)

You aren’t being unreasonable, keep the money for him set aside, in fact what I would do is have the PIP put in an account in his name and then draw out cash and keep it for a bit before lodging in your own ISA….

As for if you die; have the amount in ISA left solely to him or specify an amount that you want left to him to cover additional needs, maybe to buy him a house.

@colouredball

There is a place near us where teens and adults with downs and learning disabilities work… they make bottles… they can work…

But there’s no way they could manage their own finances.

@newyear2024 if mum is on the sick herself she can’t claim it as considered an overlapping benefit. And there are other benefits that are the same. Also need to be careful that the person on DLA/pip doesn’t lose part of their entitlement.

Still worth claiming, be told you are due nothing but have letter showing underlying entitlement.

If a trust doesn’t work out you could write a will stating all the money in that account goes to that son and your remaining estate is divided among your children equally. I’m sure his siblings will understand if you explain where the money in that account came from.

My brother lived with my mum until her death. She was a pensioner for thirty years and also had saving of her own. He had PIP and other benefits but was always unable to understand or handle money, so his benefits and PIP was paid into an account in their joint names so she could draw down on it when needed. She had no mortgage so he obviously didn't pay her rent and the balance on his account was usually about £10k. He did have a 'job' for a few years and earnt a little bit of money. This went into an account in his name and he used it to buy himself treats.

When mum died and my brother went into care there was still about £10k in his name that he had in his sole name then.

In my experience and from what I have read it doesn’t do anyone with a disability any good to have a pile of money. It will just make life more complicated for him. Give him your bank card and PIN number before you die, or tell him where to find them if it’s sudden.

@Piggybankme Then the money is yours.

You could charge him housekeeping for his share of the bills as he would be paying you if he was working but can't due to his disability. It would then be your money to save yourself.

I am my Ds ‘s appointee .

The money is the same as Dla it is too pay for additional expenses .

i have spent my ds’s on things like tutors , repairs bro the house he has damaged , I will be using it to pay for driving lessons . Sensory clothing

Think how your dc could benefit from this money . I do see that as part of my responsibility as his apppointee .

I agree with this, there's usually a limit on how much money you can have in savings when you claim benefits, and if you're putting it in yours and then claiming more benefits surely that's fraudulent?
Sounds dodgy to me sorry