Not allowed friends over

[Rainyday54321]

First time poster here..
So AIBU?

Husband doesnt allow me to have friends over. He says it's his house (we both pay mortgage!) and refuses to allow me to have anyone over. I have to see friends at their houses.
This is full on controlling isn't it? :-(

[Bubblegummies]

Well yes but you know that?

[KreedKafer]

It's abusive.

[Junothatsagoodidea]

Yes. What is his reason?

[Dozycuntlaters]

Yes it is full on controlling. What would happen if you ignored him and invited friends over?

[pointythings]

Yes, full on controlling and worthy of divorce.

[Vroomfondleswaistcoat]

What is his reply to 'well, it's my house too, why do you get the only say?'

[scrimblescramble]

@Bubblegummies

Well yes but you know that?

Well maybe the OP just wants some clarification.

[PurplePanda1]

Very controlling. Also saying it’s his house is another red flag.

[Screamingabdabz]

I know you say you pay towards it, but I hope both names are on the mortgage op? ‘It’s my house’ rings alarm bells. If you split up he’ll take it all.

And you should split up. He is a prick.

[Wayk]

Awful behaviour on your husband’s part. Stand up for yourself and he can out while your friends visit

[GrumpyPanda]

Does he have friends over?

[Allfur]

Just invite them, he wouldn't chuck them out would he?

[vodkaredbullgirl]

Of course it is controlling, does he have friends over what about family?

[Mischance]

Suggest you invite half a friend as the house is half yours ... see what he says to that.

[Teq]

Are you prepared to leave him?

[BobbyBiscuits]

How small is your house? Surely he can be in another room if he genuinely doesn't want to see them. Either he stops this crap or you should leave him. And who's house is it on the deeds?
Does he get to have friends round?

[lap90]

Weird behaviour.

Is he extremely introverted?

[Rainyday54321]

He doesn't mind family coming over. I'm just not allowed friends. If I suggest it he shouts at me. I'm scared if I have them over he will genuinely block the door and shout/be rude at them so I don't have them over.
He never has friends over.

He can be very obsessive over things. He swears/shouts at me and has thrown objects in anger.

I know all of this is unreasonable and not at all OK.. I just need to hear it so I know its not me!

[ThePoshUns]

Definitely not you. I'd invite a friend over just to see him act like a prick in front of them and then tell him you're leaving him.

[MillieIou]

Time to leave.

[TraitorsGate]

It's abusive and controlling, it's probably safer to see friends at their houses, he's an embarrassing bully. Can you leave and manage on your own.

[pointythings]

He swears, shouts and throws things at you - that's abuse. Call Women's Aid and get out.

[KreedKafer]

@Rainyday54321

He doesn't mind family coming over. I'm just not allowed friends. If I suggest it he shouts at me. I'm scared if I have them over he will genuinely block the door and shout/be rude at them so I don't have them over.
He never has friends over.

He can be very obsessive over things. He swears/shouts at me and has thrown objects in anger.

I know all of this is unreasonable and not at all OK.. I just need to hear it so I know its not me!

This is serious domestic abuse.

[MermaidEyes]

How on earth did you ever get to the married stage?! Unless you didn't live together before you got married surely you would have discovered this earlier and finished with him?

I've lost count of the number of these types of threads I've read on here today.

[Pocketfullofdogtreats]

Nope, this isn't right, that he shouts, etc. He might not be very sociable but he should meet you half way - be prepared to go off and watch TV while you and your friends are in the kitchen, for example. He is BU. Do you have children? If not, I would get out of this relationship and find someone who will treat you with respect. If you do, it's a bit more complicated but still, it doesn't sound like a very nice life. Take control for yourself x