Friend issue

[IsawwhatIsaw]

I have a friend I’ve known for over 30 years. She now lives around 5 hours drive from us. They’ve invited us up, we’ve made the effort and spent nice times with them.
Meanwhile her son has moved and now lives about 10 minutes drive away.

So my issue is that she’ll come down and stay with her son and not contact me. I understand of course she wants to spend most of her time with him, but I sometimes call randomly and find she has been staying for up to a week and hasn’t told me . Even an hour catch up for a coffee would be nice.
Recently she phoned to ask if they could stay with us for 4 nights as her son already had someone staying with them. It felt like we barely saw them at all. I understand she prioritises family, but it feels like this friendship is waning …

Hmm. I think I'd be annoyed if my friend came down to where I live and didn't tell me, if they lived 5 hours away. Staying at your house should mean they at least spend some time with you too. I wouldn't like this .

I guess if she's staying with him for a week & not telling you it's because she wants to focus on family, which I get.

Equally, I get why you feel hurt. I think perhaps you need to accept that, at least at this point in your lives, you prioritise your friendship more than she does. Doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't care as much as you do, just different priorities.

Thanks for the replies.
Yes I think I prioritize the friendship more than she does. Starting to feel used a bit, with the asking to stay, and not seeing us. So think I’ll stay in touch, but not travel up as much. It’s quite a journey , 5 hours or so