To ask if anyone has a great relationship with their SIL

[Selenaso]

My relationship with my SIL has always been tricky. Whenever I see posts about SILs on here it’s always about something negative (though this is AIBU, after all, so probably shouldn’t be a surprise). AIBU to ask if anyone here has a really good relationship with their SIL, and is glad their sibling married them so this excellent person has been brought into their life? It’d be nice to hear some positive stories and think it’s possible…

YABU - my SIL is a demon
YANBU - my SIL is great and a mate

I like both my SIL's and admire them for different reasons but while we get on well we don't all hang out or socialise as a group of girls, they do but I don't drink and we're into pretty different things.

My SIL is lovey and but I don't get to see her very often as we've both very busy lives;we get on really well.

I'm also good friends with my nieces mum despite her and my brother separating over a decade ago;her two other children (nieces younger half siblings) call me auntie Duckingnella.

I've got two. Both are DH's sisters. I'm not close to either of them. But one is nice enough, and DH gets on with her. The other is a bit of a bitch.

I'm really envious reading this thread...I want a lovely SIL who I adore with all my heart and enjoy spending time with as opposed-- to a trashy, backstabbing cow.-- (Stamps foot).

I wish but my sil is a militant vegan who scares my poor mil and tbh dh, me and made my then 5 year old dc cry as dc dared to eat sausages at a special meal (massive backstory here as I frankly was glad dc was eating anything at that time and sil arriving and saying in loud voice to the whole of the restaurant no one in her family would sit next to anyone eating meat, dc aged 5 burst into tears as wanted to sit next to cousin). Dc now calls sil evil since despite us trying to play it down. Sil is married to bil who db to dh. Saying that since her breast cancer a year ago she's become more relaxed and at Christmas didn't lecture us or poor pil for first time in 20 years. Tbh she seemed more human and mil said things are getting better (only taken 20 years). For some reason they want to see us (dh, me and dc) at Easter....I have amazing pil by the way. My dsis lucky with amazing sil.

I get on great with 3 of mine…..not so. Much the other 2

I have 3 SILS.

BILs wives I don't have a lot in common with and wouldn't necessarily choose as "friends" but we do all get along just fine and we often have family get together just me, MIL and 3 SILs.

DH sister is one of my best friends, we were each others MoH and I see her and spend more time with her than DH 😂

Hmmm this is a difficult one to answer. I love my SIL like a sister and we are very close. She has been a solid support to me when I went through some tough times and she has many excellent qualities. We hang out together and message quite a lot. However she is a difficult person. She alienates people without realising and seems genuinely unaware that she is doing so. She falls out with colleagues, friends, family members regularly but doesn’t put two and two together. I am conflict avoidant. So even when she is borderline offensive I say nothing because ironically if she were told she had offended or upset me/someone else she would take it very badly and get defensive and upset. It’s a topical subject we all tiptoe around so as not to rock the boat because whenever the subject starts to rear its head, she gets very upset. I mean VERY upset. But she is a lovely kind person in so many ways. So generous with her time. So thoughtful. Funny. Honestly we laugh all the time. I love her to bits. But yeah, there is this elephant in the room we all ignore. It’s difficult because I am so close to my brother and we would do more stuff together like holidays etc, but my DP and my DC have said they would not enjoy a holiday with her whenever I’ve suggested we go away with my DB. Really sad about that as I can suck up the things that are difficult but it seems my DP and DC cannot and so it would be unfair of me to force it on them. Shame. We would all love a holiday with my DB as he is the best DB a person could ask for!

I get on well with my sil. She's really lovely

My DD and her SIL are thick as thieves! She’s lovely!

They’re nice people yes.

Unfortunately I do have a double SIL problem. 😐
One SIL is without doubt pretty awful. Completely selfish. Never talks to me. Or anyone in the immediate family at all. She HATEs other SIL with avengence!

The other SIL, I thought I got on great for years! And now… I’ve realised that she ‘passively’ has been the biggest contributor to me and my brother losing any kind of relationship. She never comes to visit, so my brother has to come alone. Which he did for ages but now I realise they are ‘so busy’ (SIL fills up every single weekend for him) that he ‘doesn’t have the time’. He hasn’t visited now for 5 YEARS!

I visit them regularly, well I try, but out of the last 5 visits - 2 were cancelled last minute by SIL - 2 others she said I should ‘stay with my mum’ instead and only got to see them for 1 hour instead of a whole weekend - and the others I just couldn’t get hold of SIL who ‘holds the diary’.

I tried regular calls to my brother… but the last few times he was apparently ‘not able’ to take the call as her family were around and the other times he was at work really late.

And now I hear she’s been saying I’m selfish because I don’t live near my mother, (she lives near them), even though I do just about everything for her and she never visits her ever either.

Of course it’s up to my brother to be aware of this, but he’s super defensive. He goes to her brothers on holiday every year, even though he’s not super keen on him, and visits her family every month at least.

It’s really sad. I’ve been booted so far into the sidelines I’ve lost my brother!

I have 3 SIL. One is fab, one is ok and one is rather subtly manipulative.

My step sister in law is amazing I adore her

My sister in law is fantastic. A hardworking single mother who has a very serious and demanding job. She is loyal and kind and so caring. Her children I adore (DNeice and DNephew) and a credit to her. She is a friend I'd choose and would sell her house if we needed the money. We love her. We're lucky for our children to have her in their lives, she's aspirational.

Really love my SIL she was a bridesmaid for me. She is really kind and supportive and has done loads of baby sitting for us! We are the same age and she’s quieter and cleverer than me and I really appreciate we are different but get on so well!

I have three SILs and I have good relationships with all of them. We aren't best friends and I don't see them very often (probably 1-3 times per year), but we get on well and take an interest in one another's lives.

As much as I would have loved to get on well with my dh sister (and I did at first) she is a lost cause. We haven't spoken to her in about 7 years because she's a nasty, selfish and immature person who even told our 1 year old at the time to f**k off. Then told my inlaws they weren't allowed to talk to me or acknowledge our second childs pregnancy or even meet them so they missed out on the first few years of their life before they understood we aren't bending to her every whim and thankfully our relationship with the inlaws has now improved. Even though she still tries to control everything. Sad but true. I could list a whole list of examples but I don't bother wasting my time on nasty people. I always supported my DH decision regardless what it was. He made the call to cut contact and I was the one who extended the olive branch to his parents and I'm happy I did but he stands firm on never talking to his sister again.

I live my SILs, especially DH’s sister who is a hoot.

are they still your SIL at another remove ie DH’s brother’s wife?

My SIL is a literal angel! DH and SIL are like best friends and she's extremely helpful and kind. Very lucky to have her around. Not so close with the other SILs but they are nice enough.

Oh yes, my SIL is awesome! In fact I divorced her brother years ago but am still friends with her. She's one of the sweetest, kindest people I've ever known and I'm so glad she is in my life.

These responses are all strangely polarised into the extremes. I like my two SIL very much, we see each other without the brothers or with, but probably no more than 10 times per year. Messages are usually about organising something but will include general chat. At some point each of us has annoyed the others, but we're family so we don't argue and just move on. I or they could talk about anything with each other, but usually we wouldn't. I'm happy that I have them in my life, but other friends are my favourite people. My BIL I'm less close to; we get on well enough and like each other, but just don't really chat much. I have two ex-BIL; one was wonderful and the other was evil.

I love my brother's wife. She's hilarious, smart and kind. And very talented.
And I adore my ex husband's sister. We go on holiday together. She's like a sister.

I live in a different country to DB and SIL and she is much younger than me but we get on fine when we see each other, which is maybe once or twice a year. We’re not close but we might be if we saw each other more.

I also like ExH’s sister, she lives in a different country too and I probably won’t ever see her again. I was more sad about that (also exMIL) than leaving ExH!

I don't see mine that often but when we do she is soooo funny, clever, witty and deserves a medal for putting up with my miserable brother. She also loves my Mum (her MIL) like her own Mum and I love her for that too.