Just been paid and I can’t see a reason to go on

[Broksa]

I earn on the face of it ‘enough’ money. I was paid today. After all bills… childcare being the key one of 1,700, I have got 130 to last me the rest of the month. Ex pays cms of 800. My mortgage is 1k. I feel sick. Stressed. I will have a horrible day at work again as it’s so busy and I’ve had three hours of sleep. I honestly wish I could disappear what is the point.

How old are your DC? I take it that’s after tax free childcare? How long has this been going on and how do you normally make up the shortfall?

Is this temporary - will your bills drop when one starts school or hits 30 free hours?

The amount went up 11 percent this month. Dd is 19 months. I am honestly broken. Feel ill, what is the point

Hang in there op, childcare costs do go away at some point.

It is shit yes, but it does get better op when you have free hours etc. But maybe think about finding someone to talk to.

Do you claim child benefit or can you from the 6th of April? It's not masses but can help.

I get the pain of childcare bill (£1500 here after govt 20%). Make sure your using the govt 20%, also does your nursery and work have any flexibility I.e if you work longer hours slightly you finish by 3 on a Friday and nursery has a short day option?

Remember you have Olio app, community larders etc to help with food prices etc.

When you feel up to it go through your bills can any be got rid of/cut/changed mobile phone sim only contracts etc.

Is there any childminders in your area? They tend to be cheaper.. if you can find one!

That sounds so difficult. Have you looked at all options? Selling and renting, working less hours, compressing your days, etc?

Ask to compress your hours….knackering , but a definite money saver …and it won’t be for ever

You might be financially better off dropping to part time for a year or two. UC childcare payments might mean you come out with either more time, more money or both.

Google the "entitled to benefit calculator" and put in the figures for part time work.

You sound close to burn out.

That’s terrible OP. I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time.
have you got anyone to talk to? Could you take some time off work?
I don’t know how you do it all on your own but you should be so proud of yourself doing the best you can for your little one. Hang in there 💐

Take the day off work today, if that is possible. Your mental health is as important as your physical health.

Take your DD to childcare as usual then do something practical around the house, declutter a room, or garden etc. Something that will make a positive difference.

Speak to a good friend or family member for a chat and share your worries, if you feel able. They might not have the answers but connect with them anyway and make (inexpensive) plans.

Are you still reeling from all the recent upheavals in your life - childbirth, break up? Might you need more professional help? I'd say try your GP, but that depends on the state yours is in. Worth a try, I guess.

And remember, it does get better. Those expensive childcare years do end.

Would you be better off working part time? My friend went back after mat leave per time and her colleague went back full time, we worked out after childcare costs her friend was only something like £100 better off! Wasn’t worth it

I agree with a PP, compress your hours. Alternatively look to see if reducing your hours to give you a UC/free childcare entitlement will help. Sometimes a lower pay level will leave you better off, especially when you're on a cusp salary.

You should be able to claim UC as a single parent as long as you earn less than 50,000 and don't have savings of something like 16000. They don't take into account your child maintenance income.

It’s not for long, you just have to grit your teeth and get through it. In just over a year this pressure will be gone.

It’s really normal for families in this situation to take on some debt to cope- we did. It doesn’t take long to pay it down as you’re used to paying a big childcare bill.

I would recommend getting an interest free credit card and popping living expenses on there when things get tight. Lots of people have to do this.

I was going to suggest exactly this.

And bear in mind that Entitled To probably won't be basing their figures on the rates that are due to come in next month yet, so even if it's not viable now, it may be after April 8.

How viable is cheaper childcare? I know a couple of people who were really struggling with nursery fees and they managed to get a place with childminders which was loads cheaper.

A friend was much better off working 3 days pw, despite not being eligible for help with childcare costs. The drop in pay meant that not only did she pay less in childcare costs but it took her salary below the level where her student loan repayments were deducted, so she kept more of her earnings.

Is the £800 child maintenance on top of this or was that included in your original pay? What is your income and main outgoings?

It’s a beautiful day outside

you have a beautiful daughter - sadly children are expensive :-)

you aren’t living in rented accommodation - you live in a mortgaged home which one day will be yours :-)

You have £130.00 still after your bills are paid, it could be a lot worse - you could have bills still to pay and be £130.00 overdrawn.

i hope you see my reply with the love it was sent it.

when children are small, very few of us had money, we limped along from pay check to pay check.

try and do a soup month, and tell everyone you’re miserable cos your doing the “beach babe” diet :-)

it gets easier, it truly does, just hang on xxxxx

Perhaps you could downsize slightly, just for now?

For the sake of your mental health, look into what you can change. Your littlun needs a healthy, happy mummy more than she needs a wealthy mummy! It sounds like you must be earning at least £2,000 a month and you get £800 on top of that from your ex. If you're struggling to make ends meet on that sort of money, change something! Drop a day or two of the week until your child starts school or find a cheaper alternative or look to find a cheaper home ?

Can you take in a lodger?

Can family take care of your child one day per week for one year?

Thanks so much for the support. I have no family to help and ex does see dd but completely when it suits (it won’t change) so nothing can be fixed about that to help with childcare. I am going to tell him about the increase this weekend and see if he will pay more than minimum cms.

my income is 69,700. I don’t know how to work out of I drop a day would I lose much? I am so stressed about financial security/health/future and don’t know what to do for the best.

my job isn’t in finance otherwise I might be better as calculating it all! I don’t want extravagant things, just to be able to do a food shop without worry.

Are you eligible for UC? Free childcare hours come in once your child is 2 I think. Also do you do salary sacrifice on your childcare?

That's tough. The baby years are so hard and expensive, and even harder on your own.

If you don't already have it could you ask your employer to offer salary sacrifice childcare. Something like this. www.mintago.com/salary-sacrifice/mintagos-childcare-salary-sacrifice-scheme/

This means you don't pay tax on the childcare you pay out. For a standard rate taxpayer it means that childcare costs you 23% less. That could give you some headroom.

Worth asking?