Just been paid and I can’t see a reason to go on

[Broksa]

I earn on the face of it ‘enough’ money. I was paid today. After all bills… childcare being the key one of 1,700, I have got 130 to last me the rest of the month. Ex pays cms of 800. My mortgage is 1k. I feel sick. Stressed. I will have a horrible day at work again as it’s so busy and I’ve had three hours of sleep. I honestly wish I could disappear what is the point.

My main anxiety is that I have no buffer now, no chance to save. That’s the crux of it. I could struggle on like this, we eat basics and don’t go out unless it’s to the park etc but it’s the fact I have literally 150 pounds in savings. Incredibly stressful

You can use the take him pay calculator to work out how much you get.

www.thesalarycalculator.co.uk/salary.php

Sorry you’re feeling so low, it is understandable.

Don’t worry about not saving at the moment, that’s a pressure you can let go. You will be able to start saving when your child care costs are reduced which (though it may seem forever at the moment) will happen. This is the most expensive time and all you can do sometimes is just get through it.

You earn quite a lot OP. You’d have to cut down a huge amount to get tax credits and probably wouldn’t be better off. Have you looked at all your outgoings? It’s very frustrating to have little left but you’re not alone in that at all. You need to focus on the future as it will get easier. Be kind on yourself.

edited — so you take home about £4200 ( you might have a pension etc so might be slightly less) mortgage and childcare is 2700 , you have additional income of 800, so you should have roughly 2300 for everything else? But you’ve only got 130 left? What’s happening there @Broksa ?

I’m confused, do you have 130 or 930 for the month if you include maintenance?

Can you extend your mortgage so that it's over 30 years rather than 20/25. You can always start to pay more again further down the line. Your income is pretty good so this is a temporary situation and really will improve. Or maybe take a mortgage holiday for three months to ease things temporarily. If you go to the mortgage company they can be sympathetic.

It wouldn't be worth cutting down on your salary, but it would be worth working compressed hours and cutting your travel costs with a flexible/WFH request.

It's hard to calculate how much you'd lose without a lot more detail, eg pension contributions, student loan etc. There are lots of net pay calculators online, Money Saving Expert has one, but there are others. Put in all your figures and see what the overall difference would be. Dropping a day would reduce your gross pay to £55,760, but as you'll be in the 40% tax band, you'll only lose £600 net pay for every £1,000 less you earn in gross pay.

And NI will be going down again in April, so that will give you a little bit extra.

You may also be entitled to 15 hours free childcare from September, but I'm not sure if there's a maximum earnings limit on that. __

This. If it's a case of other debt is drowning you then stepchange can help.

Free childcare stops at 100k

That’s a good idea. I believe with the new mortgage charter most people can extend their mortgage or pay interest only for 6 months.

Of course it’s only a temporary fix but it may give you some much needed breathing space @Broksa

OP I hear you.
I am a lone parent and when my DD14 was 2 I was on about the same amount.

I know people are saying it's a good salary but I know it's just over the amount to get any additional help at a point where it's the most expensive for you and costs are up.

What I am going to say to you is hard but ....you need to really focus on your earning potential, really focus on your career, work out how to get promoted, move jobs to negotiate better salary etc.

It's this that is the game changer.

It's so so hard in the early years but I managed to get myself onto 6 figures by the time she was 6. Find a mentor, do extra training, switch sectors. Etc

Honestly this is your way out of the situation longer term.

OP is paying 40% tax on a fair chunk of her salary. Would that mean that salary sacrifice would save 40% of the childcare bill?

If so, that would be over £600 a month less, which would make things a good bit easier.

OP could you try and consense your hours eg if your childcare is open 8-6 could you try and work slightly longer days within the childcare times?

Then you could drop a day childcare, work almost full time - maybe 34 hours could be possible, get a day back, save on childcare etc. you wouldnt lose as much as you think, especially if it reduced a commute too.

your childcare is very expensive. Is that total including the new 15 hours entitlement AND tax free childcare?

Go on the Money Saving Expert forums and ask for advice. There are some very knowledgeable people on there and various calculators.

You're earning almost £70k
Plus getting almost £10k in child support from elan ex.

£80k a year...

You're outgoings are the issue, not the income.

Move to a cheaper house.
Find cheaper bills.
Shorten the commute.
Get a cheaper car.
Cheaper sky package.
Cheaper phone package.

If debt is the issue, seek help from a charity.

If you're pissing away money, you're not broke, you're spending it poorly.

Hoik the big pants up, and get it sorted.
The average wage in the UK is about £31k and people love well on that and less. You're income is almost triple that, so it's going somewhere...

The few years where you need full time childcare are hard - that's just how it is - but they are only a few years

If your 300 a month after essentials includes after food - which a quick estimate of your income suggests it should - well that's amazing for this period of life

If it doesn't there is likely to be unnecessary stuff I would think

There are plenty of people who aim to get their discretionary spend to around £0 a month - to clear debts, to save for the inevitable big bills , to save for something big like a camping trip away , to avoid overdrafts

So your salary is around £4k plus another £800 cm? And nursery plus mortgage £2700. You have £2100 left, bills and food won’t be that much, where’s the rest going?

@LakieLady yes.

www.gov.uk/expenses-and-benefits-childcare

Every parent in here in employment should be asking their employer to look at this option.

I’m sorry that is really stressful. Have you a massive debt?
can you restructure that?

I just wanted to encourage you to keep going. Don’t panic about money, you are doing all you can and things could change overnight x

Childcare cost is a temporary evil.

15 years ago as a lone parent with a baby I used to survive on a grand total of £1000pm, £425 of which went on rent.

Things will improve.

Your figures don’t make sense. Where is the money going? Can you give a full breakdown. People on here can be pretty amazing at helping to work out a budget and get things down.

Would a child minder close to where you live be a better option (especially after reading the childcare nursery thread, it's worrying ).

Is there another parent you could get together with and employ a nanny?

Anything else you could cut back on? Sale items you don't need/clothing etc to help with bills.

Hoping others with provide solutions.

No sky package.

It's perfectly possible that OP could be struggling on that salary, because of mortgage and childcare costs and maybe student loan repayments, a bit of debt and pension contributions. It's all on her and that's where the CoL crisis has taken us to.

She sounds as much weighed down by tiredness as she does stressed about money, anyway.