Just been paid and I can’t see a reason to go on

[Broksa]

I earn on the face of it ‘enough’ money. I was paid today. After all bills… childcare being the key one of 1,700, I have got 130 to last me the rest of the month. Ex pays cms of 800. My mortgage is 1k. I feel sick. Stressed. I will have a horrible day at work again as it’s so busy and I’ve had three hours of sleep. I honestly wish I could disappear what is the point.

This!!

You could even afford to get into debt a little bit right now if you need to to survive because you’ll soon pay it off when your child is school age.

I think people are just a bit confused that OP only has £130 to last a month and are looking for a bit more context.

Using your figure of 3.5k, with nursery + mortgage taking 2.7k of that, even if bills hoover up the remaining £800 of OP's wages, she then should theoretically still have £800 in child support to get her through the month.

OP, I don't think this is an income issue. It's likely a spending issue. I say this as someone who earns a similar wage to you.

After pension and let's say student loan if you have those, you're probably taking home just under £4k. Is this right? Then add on CM from your ex. Would it be correct to assume you have around £4.5k a month, maybe a little more?

£1k mortgage monthly is not high considering your income.

Not sure what your nursery costs but we live in a very expensive part of the country and here it's under 2k a month, unfunded.

If it's similar for you, then you should have £1.5k after mortgage and nursery bills.

Do you have debt? A car loan? Credit cards?

On the bright side your child will be entitled to some funded hours very soon and you will be entitled to a little child benefit with the rule change.

With a baby in the house? Is that safe?

Yes I know that, funny enough I do have a job and pay tax myself. I also have children and know it’s hard paying for childcare but that things improve.

She still earns £70k though doesn’t she and should be able to manage her money to live comfortably on it.

I disagree she should be living comfortably. Her mortgage and childcare bill alone takes up roughly 77% of her monthly income (assuming a pension contribution and likely student loan). Add in council tax, energy bills (say £200 each as average is going up and energy bills are bonkers) that leaves approx £400. Before any other bill for water, a car, food, nappies etc etc.

The tax jump between 20% and 40% makes a big difference. There is a reason it's called the squeezed middle especially for a single parent who until the 6th of April wouldn't of been able to claim child benefit without having to pay it all back.

Yes the OP should re-examine her finances to see if she can make things less daunting and easier foe her. But the assumption that it's an automatic easy life especially for a single parent because they earn over the average is rubbish.

OP says that after all bills she has 300 left a month. She end each month in profit and there may be potential to o save more with a sturdy review of spending

Take home around 3.7 k assuming student loan and pension , plus .8 from her ex - that's 4.5 - 60% on the mortgage and childcare , not 77%

Unless all bills isn't including all essential bills then she is in profit every month even after she spends 1.7k a month on childcare

Put another way - in a few years time she is likely to have over a grand a month spare cash to save and spend as she likes

Hang in there - the early years are hard for most people

Definitely ask the ex for more, sounds like he isn't paying enough to cover his fair share.

You earn loads, I have a lot less than that and have more kids than you. I don't understand how you can be struggling on that amount plus £800 child maintenance?! What are you spending it all on? Lots of people have to manage on far less

She actually earns over twice the average, so not like she is on £45k or something. Again, I have a job and pay higher rate tax, in Scotland so more than elsewhere in the U.K., so again am well aware of tax reducing take home pay. But someone not being able to survive with one very small child when including child maintenance she must have £4.5 k net a month is ridiculous.

Renting is not the cheapest option believe me

Also a Scottish tax payer.
There are many reasons why including paying everything solo, running a car (worse if on finance) paying off finance agreements for things like furniture, water bill isn't included in council tax payment in England and the council tax has risen by 15% in some places. That's significant.

I'm not a loan parent but my DH has had periods of redundancy where 100% of bills has fallen to me. It was tight, manageable but tight and a stressful situation to be in. We would have been screwed if anything broke or needed replacing and I don't have any debts or finance agreements other then a mortgage (and my mortgage is less then the OPs).

The OP needs assistance seeing the wood through the trees, help with examining if she can save money somewhere which will help. To Stop feeling like drowning in financial pressure. They need empathy not someone sticking a boot in because she has a higher then average salary!

It's easy, when you're in a secure relationship, to see just how difficult (and expensive) life is as a singleton.

Been a completely lone parent for 15 years with an income less than half of OP's and to be honest you just have to get on with it. I don't see the point in moaning and being negative.