AIBU to think there is abuse of “mental health”

[TwinklyPeachScroller]

As a supposed educator (my role has become solely classroom management) in further education focused on 15-17 year olds who have disengaged from school, I and my colleagues are being manipulated daily with young people who when challenged on standard engagement, attendance, basic decent behaviour and attempts to participate in any work cite mental health issues. They are then engaging with the many support services internally and being excused from any elements of being a student while receiving significant amounts of cash regardless of commitment. AIBU to think we have created a generation of excuses and a dire lack of commitment and resilience?

what’s the harm in half the population diagnosing themselves ND?

Because when huge numbers of people respond to normal feelings of anxiety or sadness or teething-troubles when learning to do something they are not used to, by labelling it a MH problem and avoiding/refusing the situation or task in question, it creates a hell of a lot of issues for the rest of us and for society as a whole.

The poster you quoted just listed adhd amongst the things that are “popular” now, they didn’t classify it is a mental health condition.
If MN posters are indicative of real life it paints a terrifying picture because it sometimes seems like the vast majority of people have a sen child or believe they have one. It’s crazy how this has gone through the roof.

i agree @Coshei
parents seem to want soldiers and when they are not soldiers they want a badge

@user1477391263

i don’t think society makes many adjustments for adults though. You get a bit of sympathy from employers, but after a while they question if the job is suitable and it’s probably not, you need a new job.
For friends and family dealing with another adult, it’s a personal choice how much you want to accommodate someone else’s depression or anxiety. You don’t have to, everyone can live their life the way that suits them, and not everyone rearranges their lives to accommodate mental health. Most people do for loved ones and that’s their choice.

I don’t think it does cause problems in society, it’s for individuals to manage. It causes problems for individuals.
Although this is just my opinion, I don’t see any public services or facilities for adults accommodating mental health issues, I am perhaps not aware. I’m thinking of shops, doctors, cinemas, leisure centres, energy suppliers, road mending people, laundrettes, pubs, cafes, weddings, funerals. Society goes on unchanged, you have to manage your own journey through it.

Surely if half the population is neurodiverse that then becomes neurotypical?

pretty sure it is not half the population

Because when huge numbers of people respond to normal feelings of anxiety or sadness or teething-troubles when learning to do something they are not used to, by labelling it a MH problem and avoiding/refusing the situation or task in question, it creates a hell of a lot of issues for the rest of us and for society as a whole.

And the individual is not learning, growing, developing new skills, if s/he backs away every time s/he encounters something s/he finds a bit difficult or which makes him/her a bit nervous.

They get a “bursary” which until recent years was based on attendance ie don’t attend don’t get paid. Now they get it regardless and some openly state they are only there for the money while sipping back to back Starbucks and refusing to do any work.

@Namechangechangeobv
What exactly do you do in the mental health field?

But the bursary will surely go on the provision. I think we need a bit more info about the cohort- how many, are they on EHCPs, what is the selection criteria…? I’ve not heard of any provision where students get handed cash.

My dd has an EHCP and provision such as this. She gets no money, funding goes on the provision.

Most likely that parents of SEN children seek the support more because of the obstacles that accompany. I myself am autistic officially diagnosed and I have 2 children who are also autistic and it is sometimes really hard to manage. Also, in my experience, neurotypical people with children who are also neurological tend to exaggerate how good their children are and want bragging rights so that's what I chalk that up to tbh.

Neurotypical* (autocorrect 🫠)

And If you are dealing with a select group who are disengaged with school which it sounds as if you are then that is by no means :-

“a generation of excuses and a dire lack of commitment and resilience?”

You don’t sound as if you are in the right job. What is an “educator” by the way?

@Orang1na

I would also like to know what an educator is. Sounds fancy

Educator is American speak for a teacher.

I have also never heard of a school or college where students are paid to attend. Or paid at all, full stop.

Younger people in work too. A whole generation are making themselves unemployable.

It certainly creates problems for the people they work with. We had a young woman start in the nursery I work in. She seemed lovely, then said she couldn't read a story to a small group of children because it made her too anxious. When I said everyone feels like that at first, it gets better the more you do it etc, she still refused to do it. Then she had a week off because she was too anxious to come in. Then the same happened when she had to do parent phone consultations. She cried and said she was too anxious. I felt sorry for her, but it meant the rest of the staff had to do her phone calls for her.

This is why I’ve blocked out the news in my household. Partly because the terrible things I see in the news don’t reflect my actual experience of life and partly because I cannot do anything about 99.9% of these terrible things so there is no point occupying my mind with it.

I still hear about the important stories and I can follow them up if I want, but I will do so by reading books and in-depth analysis that have taken months/ years to produce, not thrown together by a journalist trying to meet a deadline.

Happiness and optimism is now up in my house.

none of my dc in their 20s are too anxious to perform at work though
they are all aware of the war and climate issues
but they can concentrate on their jobs,

we had an admin person who had to keep leaving the office to chat with other colleagues, she had anxiety and depression and this was her excuse.
i am not surprised she had anxiety, you need to perform well at work otherwise you will be in trouble but that is life. nothing special
of course reading to a class can make you nervous but that is your job
my first morning at work i was too afraid to answer the phone, but i managed, after a morning of ignoring it! that is all natural.
seems like people need coping mechanisms, and not just given badges and a get out card.

I’ve been officially diagnosed with adhd and asd for ten years and it does pissme off that so many people self diagnose.

i worked with a girl in my last job who did exactly that, told me that she had no diagnoses, she just felt she had, management asked for no proof just took her at her word and she used it as an excuse to not do things at work and the rest of us had to pick up the slack. I was officially diagnosed and in contrast I was treated very poorly there whilst colleague got away with murder. Made me so angry.

Devil's advocate, but I'd say a whole generation of 'employers' are making their jobs unviable - 0 hour contracts, crap conditions, unrealistic expectations. It's all soul destroying.

So what do you suggest the girl do whilst she is sat in the now 10 year waiting lists for diagnosis that you were lucky enough to bypass?

not all jobs are like this.

Clearly, but many are, especially for those just starting out.

This is an interesting example. I feel more inclined to believe her, because she was helpful, tried to be outgoing and play the part expected of her. If she'd been uninterested and not helpful I'd be more likely to see it as an excuse.

As for no previous mention of anxiety - well people often don't mention it. How anxiety provoking to have to have that conversation! You just try to get on with it and act normal, until you can't.

Obviously neither of us really know the truth, I'm just musing.