AIBU to think there is abuse of “mental health”

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As a supposed educator (my role has become solely classroom management) in further education focused on 15-17 year olds who have disengaged from school, I and my colleagues are being manipulated daily with young people who when challenged on standard engagement, attendance, basic decent behaviour and attempts to participate in any work cite mental health issues. They are then engaging with the many support services internally and being excused from any elements of being a student while receiving significant amounts of cash regardless of commitment. AIBU to think we have created a generation of excuses and a dire lack of commitment and resilience?

Or maybe they also have the same condition(s) as your child but are struggling to get an actual diagnosis due to long waits. I am sure I don't have to tell you that ASD or ADHD don't always look the same in different people.

@KeinLiebeslied54321 maybe but normally i just get looked at like im either a parent who had a badly behaved child and used these conditions as excuses or as one of those people who has jumped on the bandwagon and decided my ds has these problems!

Most definitely. I work in mental health and it’s infuriating as some people are so unwell. Other people just use it as a tool to get stuff, thinking of the woman who keeps on ringing our team for housing. We keep on telling her we have no housing and no control over housing, she needs to speak to housing and there’s a housing crisis

This is the most spot on thread I have read here in quite a while.

I think we all need to judge less, especially when we don't know the full story (nor have any right to know it). I hope your child is getting the support they need, and you too.

It's one of the saddest I have read in a while, if I am honest.

If she keeps on ringing then perhaps she is desperate or there are other issues going on. I get that it's annoying (having worked in an advice type role a while back), but something is wrong somewhere - she should be able to speak to someone/get assistance from the right place instead of turning to you.

I am seeing "anxiety" more in the workplace these days with each successive wave of grads containing more people who approach what I would call basic work functions with a 'I can't do that' approach due to said 'anxiety'. We do not expect our grads to be fully formed professionals and part of our training programme involves all sorts of one to one mentoring on various aspects of their role to help them develop confidence in themselves and their careers. What used to be a case of "oh god I hated presentations at uni, how can I learn how to not be nervous and stand in a room full of my peers and give a talk" has now, for some, morphed into a straight "no, I can't do that" as if that is all that is required to opt out. I work for a large multinational engineering organisation, our grad programme spells out clearly the nature of the role, the requirement to develop strong collaborative team skills, all the training on offer, the attitudes and levels of engagement we expect, the required elements of travel, the professional qualifications they will be working towards etc and we have some grads now adopting a Woolworths pick and mix approach. "I don't want to go offshore next month" - "erm, you are training to be an offshore and subsea engineer, you knew this assignment is a key part of your grad programme and offers vital on the job experience". The weird thing is, to get onto the programme is a pretty tough multiday selection process involving interviews and various team problem solving exercises so these people can actually do these job functions when pushed. It just seems to be a massive sense of entitlement that when on the programme it is their right not to be 'pushed' ever again.

I worked in FE for a time and observed what you say. I think a large amount of it can be blamed on them having to be there. It was a massive mistake making kids be in education till 18. I think a large number of them could do with the discipline of joining the workforce. I felt deeply sorry for the young people with genuine mental health problems as they didn’t receive as much support as they needed, the service was overwhelmed.
Overprotective parenting doesn’t really help them, I taught a young woman who at 17 years old had never got anywhere independently including local shops or a park. She was extremely anxious about everything as she had no life skills.

Of course it’s sad because many people are genuinely suffering but their situations are only worsened by the ever increasing numbers of those who think that they have mental health issues because pandering has become so popular.

These sort of comments are what make it sad.

I’m in two minds- poor mental health is a real problem and has been for generations. We just didn’t talk about it much.

But I have noticed from a younger member of my family ( late 20’s ) that they use ‘therapy speak’ in a toxic way.

If this person is challenged about their ( unreasonable ) behaviour in a constructive way, it quickly descends into a ‘ this conversation isn’t making me uncomfortable because you aren’t understanding me, so I’m going to remove myself from this situation’

it all sounds very reasonable, but it’s basically just stonewalling and invalidating the other person’s point of view.

But what if the state of anxiety IS actually the norm nowadays and we've only just recognised this?
I used to have really awful anxiety at school and my teens in the 80s. An introvert in an extrovert's world and had to 'mask' all day long. Felt ill when I got home every day and had quite a lot of sick days.
We aren't all the same.

This is really interesting.

I’d agree that justifiably ‘feeling nervous’ about something has morphed into ‘I have anxiety’

I think this is dangerous as it creates a fixed mindset. We are more than our feelings. It’s also perfectly normal to be uncomfortable doing something we are unsure about.

ironically, looking back, I did have anxiety as a young person. ( it was really crippling - think panic attacks, sweating etc) However, I knew I had to get over it to follow the career I wanted. It was really high pressure, but something I wanted to do. I lost more than a stone in first 6 weeks of job.

when I joined workforce in the 90’s, you just had to get on with it. In some ways I think that knowing it was anxiety may have made me a bit kinder to myself. However, it’s possible I’d have used it as an excuse to opt out.

This thread is really thought provoking.

I actually wasn’t bothered about the stigma attached to mental health problems when I was diagnosed. I was just very careful because I didn’t want my employer to find out.

But the fact that there was a stigma was neither here nor there because it was my private medical information.

I am 48 years old. I have had a couple of people (who know my situation) tell me that I would find it easier to advance my career now.

I went freelance because it was the easiest way to manage certain situations.

This has left me in a position where I haven’t been able to earn anything like as much as I would’ve liked to.

They have said to me that they are now coming across so many people in the workplace, across all age groups, who are asking for exemptions and adjustments, that they feel it’s a really good opportunity for me to to come in and take take over the ground that’s been left empty. The comments here bear this out.

Obviously as a person who was diagnosed with depression and anxiety decades ago, I have absolutely no criticism of people with mental illness.

I do ask myself if I should I take advantage of the situation that’s been created by all of this? But I’d have to disclose my issues as I’d end up being the default support human otherwise.

I’ve got freelance contacts dangling permanent jobs at me which pay enough for me to have a house rather than a flat. It’s the dream.

But previously these jobs were riddled with stress and long hours. If they really have changed that much, it may be worth me giving it a go.

"But what if the state of anxiety IS actually the norm nowadays and we've only just recognised this?
I used to have really awful anxiety at school and my teens in the 80s. An introvert in an extrovert's world and had to 'mask' all day long. Felt ill when I got home every day and had quite a lot of sick days.
We aren't all the same."

Btw - as an adult I have a work from home job and have had about 5 sick days in 12 years.

She is desperate but we still have no control over it. Lots of people have it in their head mental health services can get them housing. We can’t unless you count a sectioning but that’s only for a period of time

Well, I imagine you’ll just continue being sad whilst all of us try and deal with an incomprehensible workload because of a. The government and b. The sad state of society which appears to have bred a generation with disproportionate levels of easily ‘triggered’ humans.

Are you always this patronising and assuming?

I get it.

Sorry, I understand the frustration but YAB(slightly)U.

Sure I think some teenagers might skive school and play the mental health card. However, others might generally be really struggling. I developed panic disorder in my teens. I managed to finish school but it made my life a living hell for several years. I tried not to make a fuss but in hindsight I wish I had, because I might've got more help.

A lot of people are genuinely mentally unwell. I think it's hit crisis point post-pandemic, plus there just isn't the support available via the NHS to treat people properly. I'm currently unable to work due to years of untreated poor mental health. I would love to be able to go back to work, to go on to complete my PhD, however, my level of acute distress isn't being addressed other than "here's a CBT worksheet" or "try mindfulness". For reference, I can't leave my house because my anxiety is really that bad and I can barely look after myself. My mother dragged me (25) to Tesco recently and I had a mortifying sobbing breakdown in one of the aisles.

I know it's tempting to think all younger people are malingering fakes who pretend to be mentally ill, but some of us really are. There's no joy in this. I'm not going "aha" because I'm getting one over on the system. I'm miserable and want desperately to go back to normal life.

Are you always this easily triggered by strangers on the internet?

😴

You claim to be a professional in the field so you should know better than to use the word triggered in that way knowing what it actually means. Gross.

Thank you for this post, the short answer is yes but not just limited to kids
They deprive those poor folk who do have ment health issues from getting the help they need