AIBU to think there is abuse of “mental health”

[TwinklyPeachScroller]

As a supposed educator (my role has become solely classroom management) in further education focused on 15-17 year olds who have disengaged from school, I and my colleagues are being manipulated daily with young people who when challenged on standard engagement, attendance, basic decent behaviour and attempts to participate in any work cite mental health issues. They are then engaging with the many support services internally and being excused from any elements of being a student while receiving significant amounts of cash regardless of commitment. AIBU to think we have created a generation of excuses and a dire lack of commitment and resilience?

No wonder you are dreamfield your head seems to be in the clouds

I 100% agree with this but it is not a popular opinion.

Of course teenagers are abusing the system. Not all of them of course. I say this because I would have definitely claimed to have “anxiety” to get out of going to school as a teenager. No issues when I was there but getting up and leaving the house for 8am was effort. I had to rely on the old fashioned version of pretending I felt sick to my mum who would inevitably throw something at me, turn all the lights on and shout at me to get up.

Significant amounts of cash? In what way?

Yes I’d love to not what cash. My dd was quite a severe case under CAMHs and didn’t revive a penny.

Hang on - so you’re triggered by the word triggered? That’s the most amazing way to highlight my point 😂

There's always been the few that managed to 'play the system' and there's always been naysayers wondering if everyone mentioning their poor mental health is making is up to get out of things other people have to do.

If we assume most people aren't playing the system and there seems to be an increase of those saying they are unwell, can we perhaps wonder if it might be wider acceptance of much stigmatised conditions instead?
It hasn't taken long for the terminally arsey to forget we were all told we couldn't leave the house without fear of death from covid.

Can we not forgive people for being abit fucked up for awhile because of what's happened to them?

Many people don't have anyone to give a shit about them so resilience can be difficult without support or encouragement.

A little understanding or maybe minding your own business might help those who get the hump with people who aren't well at the moment.

What point do you think you're making when you insult people?

I honestly feel that if you’ve taken what I’ve posted as an insult then yet again you’re proving my point.

You are insulting people in your replies. Me pointing that out isn't proving whatever point you seem to be under the illusion you are making.

This is a sad and worrying thread.

Honestly if you are getting at all insulted by what I’m saying I would seriously say you may need to look at the level that you’ve set your insultometer at. And this is part of the problem, the level at which some people’s ‘triggers’ are set are now SO low that discussion on an internet forum or walking into a classroom or whatever it might be causes such a level of distress that people become incapacitated.

I am genuinely sorry if you’re insulted by what I say, not because of what I have said but because I cannot even begin to comprehend how you navigate everyday life if this level of discussion upsets you so much.

You are insulting people in general, you seem to be enjoying it. That in itself says a lot. Just move on now.

Yes I do agree to an extent.

I'm a psychotherapist and seeing the drive to acknowledge mental health more, prioritise it and educate people young and old has been amazing to see. Very much needed for everyone but certain groups in particular.

In my job I do see some trends though.

1. Increasing amounts of young people coming through for very complex mental health difficulties (more readily identified and diagnosed and younger people generally more willing to get help).

2. an increasing amount of young people CLINICALISING NORMAL PROBLEMS.

This is definitely an issue.

Not everything is a mental health issue. Lots of thoughts, feelings and experiences are a NORMAL part of the human experience. Not everything is TRAUMA. Sometimes it's a shitty experiences that had an impact on you. Not everything is DEPRESSION. Sometimes is a period of low mood after bad exam results or breaking up with a girlfriend.

The increased awareness is great, but clinicalising everything does not help and will only serve to make young people thing if they think and feel anything less than happy emotions, something is clinically wrong and needs treatment.

Along with an increased awareness of our mental health we also need to teach resilience and proactive ways to protect our mental health.

Reading this thread makes me wonder if the issue is around how mental health issues are approached, by the individual and those around them. The difference between seeing the issues as something to be figured out, healed from where possible, managed, support given to manage life and achieve as far as is possible... or seeing the issues as a sort of fixed state and needing to permanently opt-out of things.

I was diagnosed with autism 6 years ago, as an adult. Someone meeting me in passing, or perhaps in a work situation, may think I'm making a fuss or demanding adjustments that I don't really need. Yet another late-diagnosed but apparently functioning adult...
So I can see how difficult it might be to gauge any one individual situation, or to worry about enabling avoidance or alternatively dismissing serious issues. But my diagnosis was preceeded by 15 years of trying to figure out what was "wrong" with me and failed attempts to get mental health help where I was belittled and dismissed, and some awful life situations due to not functioning properly. It's taken a monumental effort to even survive this long, let alone heal from much of the (avoidable) trauma. So whilst I've found the greater understanding around mental health so helpful, I cannot understand those who use mental health as an excuse to totally opt-out, especially where they seem to have a much better life, social support etc than I had. (I'm NOT talking about those with depression who may have lost the will to go on.)

(I hope this post makes sense, am a bit brain-fried with a few things atm!)

You can tell me it’s my issue as much as you like. Until you take responsibility for your own responses to situations, you’ll remain a victim. Its simple.

Totally agree. And I think the UK panders to it far more than most other countries, to its detriment. I think its creating massive issues with society, and therefore a lack of resilience.

My friend works in a dog grooming place. They had a 17 year old high school student there doing work experience. She wants to be a vet nurse.

She seemed like a lovely outgoing girl. Very helpful. Then after 2 days, they got a note from the school saying she wouldn't be back as the barking of the dogs 'triggered her anxiety.' No mention of it prior. So rather than putting up with a few barking dogs, she's now labelled herself. I despair for the next generation.

I think that - oddly - the breaking of the taboo of MH has actually led to less tolerance.

In my grandparents day, somebody "suffered with their nerves" and maybe took pills from the doctor & generally the community were understanding. Or they had "a touch of the black dog" & people got on with things as much as they could & when they couldn't, people had more sympathy.
(On the whole, was harder for men)

Whereas now, everyone's got "severe anxiety and depression" it's harder to be sympathetic as society needs to get on.

what would they have called it, how would it have been described previously ,when i was a teenager for example?

I think there is a tendency in society to “cave in” to reducing everything to bad MH (not “Mental Health” which can be good or bad!)
This is more an enthusiasm for labelling things IMO.
My DD is very good(?) at this. Apparently DH has ADHD, undiagnosed, of course, and I am neuro-diverse, too! (Also undiagnosed, natch).
Now, DH is not generally very good at being organised, and I definitely don’t learn or process data the same as the majority of people, so maybe she’s right, in theory.
However, in reality, we have both managed to get through our lives quite well: we’ve had good careers, have established a loving home, paid off our mortgage and brought up two DC who are likeable, intelligent, talented adults.
What I believe has undermined us, as parents, is the herd mentality that teaches the young people of today that resilience = repression, rather than resilience = GOOD Mental Health.
Social Media, preceded by Copy-cat behaviour (E.g. the “sackcloth and ashes” approach of many who discovered their inner grief at the death of Princess Diana, despite never having met her, and opted to publicly re-enact displays of grief lifted straight from soap operas) has banished the previous approach of the British “stiff upper lip” that encouraged people to keep things in perspective rather than displaying incontinent, fake, emotions…
So, resilience is key, and as many PP have already pointed out, it’s OK to feel anxious, nervous, a bit sad. What we need to be talking about is how to teach children to analyse, before emoting, and to put things into perspective…
P.s. The Princess Diana reaction is particular to me, as I had lost a parent around the same time, (who was, coincidentally, a huge pillar of the community) and other people acting as if their own infant had been cruelly snatched from their lives, while I was grieving, albeit not so flamboyantly, over an actual member of my family, set my teeth on edge a bit!

Tricky one isn’t it.
I mean I often wonder, if you haven’t got a mental health problem, but you pretend/ believe you have , surely that’s a mental health problem in itself?

Adhd is neurodiverse not mental health 🙄

In practice, there is a ton of crossover.

I don’t mind people diagnosing themselves with ADD/high functioning autism etc. If it helps them understand their thought processes and organise their lives better that’s absolutely brilliant.

By and large there’s not much that will change with regards to the world in relation to an adult. It’s a personal journey, life around you doesn’t change. If your job or your relationship is not working for you, you have to make changes and find something better. The world doesn’t bend and twist itself to accommodate you as an adult, you have to find where you can thrive.

for children I can see why so many accommodations are made, their education is so important, to not learn and be disadvantaged is a life long burden to carry. There was a great TV show about adults with dyslexia who had not learnt to read and it was very affecting how their lives were restricted, despite being bright, upbeat, charming people.

For adults, what’s the harm in half the population diagnosing themselves ND? No one but you cares, and if it helps you live a better life, then great!