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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bikini sleeve trend, to not think it deserves so much praise!

186 replies

marbleeffect · 27/03/2024 18:33

Huge trend here at the moment of several Mum friends / colleagues going to Egypt for the fashionable new trend of having a Bikini Sleeve operation. I have 4 friends and several more acquaintances that have had it done recently. Off to Egypt they go, return home, disappear for a few weeks then slowly reappear several stone slimmer. The 4 friends I know have lost 33 stone between them.
AIBU to think having this procedure done doesn't deserve as much adoring praise as it gets?
Lots of FB / Insta comments of "Well done!"
They are all in debt from having it done and now considering getting in more debt for follow up operations to rid them of the excess skin.
I'm probably very naive at the recovery process, I've no doubt it is difficult and painful but I worry about the example it is setting.
Thoughts?

OP posts:
Medstudent12 · 27/03/2024 21:50

Judylicious · 27/03/2024 21:47

Well I'm sure you have the same access to Google as I do. He's a professor at the University of Alexandria. He is a fellow of two US universities, a member of the UK college of Surgeons, his published articles are here: https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Tamer-Abdelbaki

Is your problem that he's Egyptian, based in his home country and incidentally also receives good patient reviews?

I’ll have a read. Journal articles are not created equal, some are a sham and it’s widely known amongst my colleagues.

My worry is that if you’re unwell over there that even if your surgeon is excellent what’s critical care like? I work with doctors from Egypt regularly and none have ever told me the care is on par or better than the NHS.

StaunchMomma · 27/03/2024 21:57

theeyeofdoe · 27/03/2024 21:11

Eh? So you stop eating too much, exercise more and then you loose weight. Surely you know that.

Just when I thought the original comment I quoted above was dumb and patronising, along you come......

Judylicious · 27/03/2024 21:58

Medstudent12 · 27/03/2024 21:50

I’ll have a read. Journal articles are not created equal, some are a sham and it’s widely known amongst my colleagues.

My worry is that if you’re unwell over there that even if your surgeon is excellent what’s critical care like? I work with doctors from Egypt regularly and none have ever told me the care is on par or better than the NHS.

I can't speak for Egypt as that's not where I went, but part of my decision to go to the hospital I went to in Turkey, and with the surgeon I went with, was based on their ICU facility in the same hospital.

Going abroad is not for everyone. It's scary, and you have to take ownership of your own aftercare and take it seriously. For me the benefit outweighed the risks and I felt equipped to research it myself. I spoke to my GP beforehand who supported me and had another patient who'd been operated on by the same surgeon, so he could share some anecdotal feedback too. In some areas for the NHS the waiting lists are over 4 years, with such extensive hoops to jump through that is off-putting. Being overweight was stopping me from receiving proper medical care in the UK - doctors couldn't look past my weight and dismissed any health concern as weight related. I have no faith in the UK system based on my experiences, and objected to paying privately (x3 more than I paid in Turkey) to access the same surgeons in the UK that the NHS would use with a 4 year wait.

I acknowledge its not for everyone and people need to make their own decisions. As it stands, I've solved my issue at minimal cost to the NHS. No complications, I paid for a private wound check and ultrasound, also paid to have my gallbladder removed. I pay for regular b12 and iron jabs and am fortunate to have 3 monthly nhs blood tests.

Athena51 · 27/03/2024 22:05

Lanawashington · 27/03/2024 20:15

This is one of those things where people just can’t win no matter what they do. You only have to look at a few mumsnet threads each day to see how much a lot of mumsnetters despise fat people and think someone being fat is some kind of massive failure. Posters talk about people being overweight with such disgust. Constant comments about how much obese people cost the NHS etc. Then you get people paying privately to resolve it by doing something which is extremely hard and they get judged and berated for that too🤦🏻‍♀️

So true,using GLP-1 medication gets the same response (I've lost over 100lbs on them).

What it proves is that these people don't care about the health of obese people as they claim. They hate them and want them to suffer to lose weight. Anything that can help is deemed to be "cheating". It's just concern trolling and good old-fashioned hatred.

ChampagneLassie · 27/03/2024 22:05

idontlikealdi · 27/03/2024 19:10

£3k for pre op, op and post op care, accommodation and flights, food, meds. Fuck me she's lucky it wasn't a butchers.

Yup that’s mental. I think you’d have to be very desperate to overlook all the obvious risks of going for cut price surgery in the developing world!!

Toothbrushh · 27/03/2024 22:10

I know it’s l crap, but for God sake, stop eating so much

theeyeofdoe · 27/03/2024 22:10

Candleab · 27/03/2024 21:44

Is your son Autistic? Have PTSD? Addictive personality? Does he have depression? Is he a young carer? Is he on an extremely limited income? Does he have a physical disability that hinders exercise? Or a mental one?

I mean why did you let him get fat in the first place? If he's lost a load of weight he was really irresponsible to have gained it.

Couldn't he have just ate well and exercised from the start? Why waste time gaining the weight if it was so easy to lose it?

Why didn't he stop after the first 7lbs gain and lose it? Why carry on getting fatter and fatter?

Edited

multiple reasons. He was a bit sad at school, liked eating, I’m a good cook (healthy one -we only noticed he was late night eating at a later date as he’s tall). We didn’t make a massive deal out of it and he lost the weight when he was ready.

Does he have a SEN -, he has an ECHP
is that enough for you?

Annettekurtin · 27/03/2024 22:13

Judylicious · 27/03/2024 21:58

I can't speak for Egypt as that's not where I went, but part of my decision to go to the hospital I went to in Turkey, and with the surgeon I went with, was based on their ICU facility in the same hospital.

Going abroad is not for everyone. It's scary, and you have to take ownership of your own aftercare and take it seriously. For me the benefit outweighed the risks and I felt equipped to research it myself. I spoke to my GP beforehand who supported me and had another patient who'd been operated on by the same surgeon, so he could share some anecdotal feedback too. In some areas for the NHS the waiting lists are over 4 years, with such extensive hoops to jump through that is off-putting. Being overweight was stopping me from receiving proper medical care in the UK - doctors couldn't look past my weight and dismissed any health concern as weight related. I have no faith in the UK system based on my experiences, and objected to paying privately (x3 more than I paid in Turkey) to access the same surgeons in the UK that the NHS would use with a 4 year wait.

I acknowledge its not for everyone and people need to make their own decisions. As it stands, I've solved my issue at minimal cost to the NHS. No complications, I paid for a private wound check and ultrasound, also paid to have my gallbladder removed. I pay for regular b12 and iron jabs and am fortunate to have 3 monthly nhs blood tests.

Edited

I’ve had medical treatment abroad (not weight loss surgery). Medical treatment at a good private hospital overseas will often be much better than the NHS. That’s the case in most developing countries too.

FasterthanaButteredOtter · 27/03/2024 22:15

TheBunyip · 27/03/2024 19:38

I mean have you seen a British hospital? Why assume one in turkey or Egypt is substandard?

Just what I was thinking.

Last time I went to visit someone in hospital, there was no staff around, patients were buzzing and no help ever came, the floor and toilets were filthy, and her hand and arm were bruised where they had spectacularly failed to insert cannula/lines etc. It was sodding awful and I felt so much for the patients who don't have anyone to bring them decent food or advocate on their behalf.

Annettekurtin · 27/03/2024 22:16

Athena51 · 27/03/2024 22:05

So true,using GLP-1 medication gets the same response (I've lost over 100lbs on them).

What it proves is that these people don't care about the health of obese people as they claim. They hate them and want them to suffer to lose weight. Anything that can help is deemed to be "cheating". It's just concern trolling and good old-fashioned hatred.

Absolutely agree

FasterthanaButteredOtter · 27/03/2024 22:17

@Medstudent12 do you honestly think the NHS is better than anywhere abroad? It's a shambles. Very sad about it as we used to be so admired.

Annettekurtin · 27/03/2024 22:18

FasterthanaButteredOtter · 27/03/2024 22:15

Just what I was thinking.

Last time I went to visit someone in hospital, there was no staff around, patients were buzzing and no help ever came, the floor and toilets were filthy, and her hand and arm were bruised where they had spectacularly failed to insert cannula/lines etc. It was sodding awful and I felt so much for the patients who don't have anyone to bring them decent food or advocate on their behalf.

I had one of my daughters at a private hospital in the developing world. I had the second on the NHS. overseas hospital was infinitely better. It’s so racist to think overseas medical care will be no good.

Somethingsnappy · 27/03/2024 22:47

Toothbrushh · 27/03/2024 22:10

I know it’s l crap, but for God sake, stop eating so much

Profound.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 27/03/2024 23:02

I know (vaguely), a married couple who had this done in Egypt. They're millionaires, if I was a millionaire, I'd just hire a Personal Trainer, not undergo dangerous surgery which leaves you looking like a deflated balloon with horrible saggy skin.

freyastar · 27/03/2024 23:04

marbleeffect · 27/03/2024 21:23

@freyastar Take it easy, I'm neither dense nor naive. Open to being educated and interested in others opinions, hence starting the thread for discussion. Not a single thing I've said on this thread that I haven't spoken to said Friends about in real life, we talked about it at great length in fact. I've no doubt they don't agree with some of the choices I've made and that's absolutely fine.

I mean to use phrases like “take it easy” you’ve proven my point.

if you’ve talked “at great length” with the people involved then it’s super weird that you’re still wanting to discuss it on here. Is this all that occupies your mind? Do you have any hobbies?

marbleeffect · 27/03/2024 23:14

@freyastar You criticise my use of 'take it easy' but then use such terms as 'super weird' Think I'll leave you be as this thread is very obviously a sore point for you. All the best Flowers

OP posts:
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 27/03/2024 23:29

Those who are saying "I couldn't possibly even dream of having surgery in Turkey" ........have you ever had surgery in Turkey ?

I have (emergency not elective)
It is a world apart from many hospitals in the UK (in a good way)

Margritte · 27/03/2024 23:33

Scarramoosh · 27/03/2024 19:09

I thought this was going to be about bikinis with sleeves attached! 😆

Literally what I thought as well Grin

whynotwhatknot · 28/03/2024 00:06

can i ask wat happens wit follow ups and if someting is wrong after you get back

id be terrifed if i couldnt go to someone for aftercare

Annielou67 · 28/03/2024 00:27

marbleeffect · 27/03/2024 19:02

@Candleab I don't doubt it is a difficult recovery process, I've heard the stories about liquid diets and introducing foods etc. but if there's that much work following the procedure, surely the same amount of work could have been put in losing the weight in the first place, without being a thousands of pounds worse off?

It’s not really like that. Depending on which surgery you have your hunger hormones are affected and sometimes some of your small intestine is removed, which minimises absorption.
Im having surgery (hopefully in about 6 weeks) . In the uk, organised by the nhs. I’ve been jumping through hoops for 3 years for this. I am morbidly obese. I need the surgery, don’t have a choice. I am 57 and I have tried so hard forever. Always in a battle to not increase in weight let alone lose it. I’m very scared. I don’t know how people can opt for this sort of surgery unless they have a serious weight problem. It’s madness - vanity gone mad.

DeeCeeCherry · 28/03/2024 02:46

Cousin's wife did this last year. He told me. He was against it but she did it anyway. Apparently she was in agony for around 3 days afterwards, once pain wore off she was fine. She does look good but she's a braver woman than me, I couldn't do it.

However OP I can't fathom how so many of your friends openly talk about their surgeries. Ive never personally heard anyone speak about their cosmetic surgery at all

BamberBoozlerGrewUp · 28/03/2024 03:27

It's called a bikini sleeve as the incisions are much lower, in the bikini area, than with a regular sleeve, so there is no scarring on the abdomen. Dr Tamer pioneered this surgery type.

I had surgery with Dr Tamer (bypass, not sleeve). I researched for over 2 years and looked into surgeons everywhere, including reading countless published and peer reviewed studies and papers. He consistently came out as the best option. He answered every question I had, with the straight up data I asked for. No leaks or serious complications. He doesn't operate on everybody, you have to meet BMI criteria and be medically well. A lady was told he couldn't operate on her whilst I was there as pre-op had shown some complication.

The surgery itself was very successful. I have been in contact with him several times to check progress and asking questions. I've paid to have all my follow up privately in the UK, but provided my GP with all of the discharge information and he commented on Dr Tamer's reputation.

The hospital was absolutely fine. I'm not entirely sure what people are expecting a hospital abroad to be like, but it was like any other hospital. Nurses available around the clock. My room was cleaned 4 or 5 times a day.

I went alone, through choice. Dr Tamer spoke with my husband to update him on how my surgery had gone. My time in Egypt was great. Everyone I encountered was very respectful and welcoming. I travelled around a bit before surgery as I thought I may aswell experience a bit whilst there, and I had a superb time.

I'm not entirely sure why a previous poster would be shocked at a world renowned surgeon operating in Egypt. But given he's Egyptian, and comes from a medical family with both parents and his brother in similar roles, I'm a bit bemused really. My surgery wasn't £3k, and with all other costs included I spent around £7k. I could have had it in the UK but my decision wasn't a financial one. I literally went with the best surgeon. I'm very well travelled and just not phased by getting a flight.

As for the judgement, I'm not personally bothered. I didn't have surgery to impress anybody. I didn't have it for aesthetic reasons either. I had it because I was 140kg and after over 20 years of crash diets and yoyo dieting, my body did not have proper hormone regulation. I was a binge eater and had therapy before I had surgery to work on that too, because I felt it important to tackle the mental issues alongside the physical issues. I'm so far 60kg down and all of my medical issues have gone.

Sorry to disappoint the earlier poster too, but I don't look like a deflated balloon either. I work out every day. I have a small amount of loose skin, but nothing really unsightly or difficult. I may have some further surgery to remove it if I feel its something that would benefit me and if I do, I'll research in the same way to find the best surgeon for the work. I also haven't got into any debt, the money was there in the bank, and is there for any plastic surgery I decide I want.

flutterby1 · 28/03/2024 06:34

Candleab · 27/03/2024 18:58

And just because they needed the surgery doesn't mean they don't deserve praise.

You have to go on a liquid diet. Reintroduce soft foods. Learn to break all the habits that made you obese in the first place.

It's a lifelong commitment and it's extremely hard.

I'm proud of myself for losing over 100lbs even if it was aided by surgery because it was bloody tough.

Maybe I'm wrong but I feel that people that have this lose sight of the fact that it CAN be done naturally by metabolic physiological processes in the body. It feels like you opt for surgery then have no choice but to eat little portions afterwards, eat properly etc. the surgery has forced you into it whereas one could have done it the natural way if they exerted the willpower, saved the physical abuse of the body with the strain and dangers of surgery and saved thousands of pounds for both the surgery and the excess food people no doubt eat until the last minute before slimming down for the surgery .

LiterallyOnFire · 28/03/2024 06:43

Maybe I'm wrong but I feel that people that have this lose sight of the fact that it CAN be done naturally by metabolic physiological processes in the body. It feels like you opt for surgery then have no choice but to eat little portions afterwards, eat properly etc.

Yeah you're just wrong. The surgery has a metabolic effect (reverses diabetes, for example) from the recovery room onwards before any mechanical restriction has a chance to make itself felt and before any weight loss can even happen.

If I ever need the surgery, I will have it (but within a sensible drive of home).

Obesity is increasingly understood as a metabolic disorder (albeit one that interacts both ways with behavioural elements). It's a fascinating area of medical advance. Watch a documentary or read a book on it. Don't just randomly talk nonsense. I'm quite confident but I'm sure this cultural nastiness would keep me indoors if I ever got very large.

LiterallyOnFire · 28/03/2024 06:44

I must say stupid names like "bikini sleeve" do not help address public ignorance.