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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bikini sleeve trend, to not think it deserves so much praise!

186 replies

marbleeffect · 27/03/2024 18:33

Huge trend here at the moment of several Mum friends / colleagues going to Egypt for the fashionable new trend of having a Bikini Sleeve operation. I have 4 friends and several more acquaintances that have had it done recently. Off to Egypt they go, return home, disappear for a few weeks then slowly reappear several stone slimmer. The 4 friends I know have lost 33 stone between them.
AIBU to think having this procedure done doesn't deserve as much adoring praise as it gets?
Lots of FB / Insta comments of "Well done!"
They are all in debt from having it done and now considering getting in more debt for follow up operations to rid them of the excess skin.
I'm probably very naive at the recovery process, I've no doubt it is difficult and painful but I worry about the example it is setting.
Thoughts?

OP posts:
Samlewis96 · 27/03/2024 20:03

DrJoanAllenby · 27/03/2024 18:39

Egypt?

It's a gastric sleeve via keyhole surgery as I have just googled it.

Personally I think people are mad to endanger their lives by having surgery abroad.

The four women you know are lucky and I hope they don't have complications further down the line.

I also think it's laziness not to lose the weight through diet and exercise unless they have a medical condition. If they have a medical condition it makes it even riskier to go abroad.

The simple solution to all this is of course not go get fat in the first place but sadly everywhere you look today there are loads of overweight and obese people.

Hmm not that's it's something id do but why is surgery riskier " abroad" in general. Not as though we have fantastic health care in the uk

Candleab · 27/03/2024 20:04

SleepyRich · 27/03/2024 20:00

Absolutely! I work in a GP surgery and it's not uncommon to have patients expecting us to pick up the post op monitoring/bloods etc and they don't realise that we wont do this for surgery undertaken privately. If something goes wrong catastrophically then you'd get treated obviously, but any routine bloods/monitoring that is really necessary will only happen if you continue to pay for it, which of course people rarely factor in.

Show quote history

I've had all my follow up bloodwork on the NHS via my GP who I went to see immediately after getting back from Turkey. She checked me over and booked my first blood test.

She congratulated me on my weightloss last time I saw her and joked about me saving the NHS thousands as I was heading towards diabetes previously. She's never chasisted me.

I've only had 1 negative reaction from a nurse when I first got back.

Judylicious · 27/03/2024 20:04

One of the best surgeons for the world at this surgery is based in Egypt, in Alexandria, Dr Tamer. I had mine done in Turkey, by Dr Deniz, again well known for performing this surgery successfully. For those who have tried everything else this is live saving surgery, and the complication rate is lower than that of the NHS.

Most aftercare I've had done privately, but I'm immensely grateful I had the chance to do this in a hospital far cleaner and more modern than any here and by a surgeon who is renowned for it. 15 months out and no regrets.

OurfriendsintheNE · 27/03/2024 20:04

Medstudent12 · 27/03/2024 19:53

I have so much empathy as a doctor for patients living with obesity. I’m a registrar but want to specialise on obesity. Please please do not go abroad. Seek help on nhs or take out a loan for uk treatment. The waiting lists are appalling in the uk but going to turkey is putting your life on the line.

Show quote history

Thank you, I really appreciate your concern. I wouldn’t personally go abroad for it but I’m lucky to have the income to enable me to save for it or pay back a loan to get it privately here if I do decide to have it down the line. Many people don’t so their options are limited.

I have no intention of going via the NHS because I fear being patronised and then a long wait time of jumping through hoops for them to ascertain that attempting to educate me out of being fat will not work.

Original poster
marbleeffect · 27/03/2024 20:04

@Willyoujust I could probably do with losing a Stone, maybe a Stone and a Half. But I have been a lot bigger in previous years.

OP posts:
KreedKafer · 27/03/2024 20:05

Not sure why this is bothering you, really. It’s up to them.

Bit weird that you know four people who have had it done. I know precisely zero people who have it done.

DaBlackCatsAreDaBestCats · 27/03/2024 20:06

PurplePanda1 · 27/03/2024 18:51

When I saw the thread title I was thinking it is some kind of sleeve attached to a bikini top. I’ve never heard of it before.

Very risky having something like that done abroad I would think.

Same! I thought “ooo I might get one”. No idea it meant that!

Original poster
marbleeffect · 27/03/2024 20:08

@soupfiend Honestly I'm not too sure! I think the name came from Dr. Tamer? Maybe because the incisions would be hidden by your bikini or Maybe because you can confidently wear a Bikini after? I'm guessing there but that's all I've ever heard it being called!

OP posts:
Judylicious · 27/03/2024 20:08

DrJoanAllenby · 27/03/2024 18:39

Egypt?

It's a gastric sleeve via keyhole surgery as I have just googled it.

Personally I think people are mad to endanger their lives by having surgery abroad.

The four women you know are lucky and I hope they don't have complications further down the line.

I also think it's laziness not to lose the weight through diet and exercise unless they have a medical condition. If they have a medical condition it makes it even riskier to go abroad.

The simple solution to all this is of course not go get fat in the first place but sadly everywhere you look today there are loads of overweight and obese people.

I don't think you know what you're talking about. You can Google what the chances of success are at keeping weight off for obese people. I think something like 1 in 1000 can keep it off. It's nothing to do with laziness and goes far deeper than that.

I think it's actually the opposite of lazy to doggedly persevere at loosing weight for over 20 years before deciding on surgery. It's brave and taking control of your health.

coxesorangepippin · 27/03/2024 20:08

One of the best surgeons for the world at this surgery is based in Egypt, in Alexandria, Dr Tamer.

^^

Really? Best surgeon in the world and he lives in Egypt?? Rakes in 3k per surgery??

Loopsielou · 27/03/2024 20:09

Beating in mind how much the NHS spend on treating people with conditions related to obesity each year, I think it's a good idea if people want to spend their own cash on a private operation abroad to get the weight off. If it goes wrong then they are adults and knew the risk. If it works and the weight comes off then good on them

Original poster
marbleeffect · 27/03/2024 20:09

@KreedKafer Why is it weird? I know more than 4 people, you know zero and that's ok on both parts, no?

OP posts:
Judylicious · 27/03/2024 20:10

coxesorangepippin · 27/03/2024 20:08

One of the best surgeons for the world at this surgery is based in Egypt, in Alexandria, Dr Tamer.

^^

Really? Best surgeon in the world and he lives in Egypt?? Rakes in 3k per surgery??

Yep. Costs are somewhat different in Egypt than the UK. Dr Tamer trained in the UK and US. He's very well known. Why wouldn't someone in Egypt be good?

Lanawashington · 27/03/2024 20:15

This is one of those things where people just can’t win no matter what they do. You only have to look at a few mumsnet threads each day to see how much a lot of mumsnetters despise fat people and think someone being fat is some kind of massive failure. Posters talk about people being overweight with such disgust. Constant comments about how much obese people cost the NHS etc. Then you get people paying privately to resolve it by doing something which is extremely hard and they get judged and berated for that too🤦🏻‍♀️

Original poster
marbleeffect · 27/03/2024 20:21

@Judylicious Dr. Tamer is exactly who everyone I know has had the operation with, apparently a Legend in the field!

OP posts:
bungleberry · 27/03/2024 20:33

I have recently had this procedure. I qualified on NHS due to other medical issues as well as BMI. I was a size 18.

I did not want to sit on the NHS wait list so I started researching surgeons. I narrowed it down to 3 only one of which was in the UK.

Dr Tamar was first choice, he is world renowned, and a pioneer in gastric surgery. I didn't go to Egypt as the Israel/Palestine issue had just kicked off.

I did go abroad to my second choice surgeon, and I have zero regrets. My life and health and well being have been completely transformed.

Would I have done this 10 years ago, absolutely not and may have judged those who did. But at the age I am.now and hitting rock bottom and having spent all my adult life dieting, hitting menopause etc I took the decision to change my life.

The hospital was vastly superior to any NHS hospital I have been in, or UK private for that matter.

Whilst there are some dodgy companies, it's rather narrow minded to believe that our health care is always superior.

SuffolkUnicorn · 27/03/2024 20:36

Candleab · 27/03/2024 19:46

I'd like to point out that I was very much abused as a child and had food used as a weapon against me.

It was withheld and it was also used as a silencer, a reward.

I have autism and food is also a way I self soothe.
I don't have friends, I had food, that was my comfort after a hard day.

I used it inappropriately and had a very toxic relationship with it.

I'm not lazy or greedy.

I'm a mentally fucked up, neuro diverse person who did her best but had 3 pregnancies and just gained and gained and gained.

It's not a choice.

Do you think people truly choose to be 19stone? If they could help it?

It makes me sad to think people might see me, 100lbs lighter and think like the OP does. Even after seeing how much better my life is now.

Edited

I could have written your post better word for word I went through the same had my sleeve last year

Waitingfordoggo · 27/03/2024 20:37

I obviously don’t have an issue with people choosing to pay for whatever surgery they want to change their bodies but yes I do find the admiration a bit weird. Anyone who can afford to spend a few grand on something like this is very privileged (even if they’ve had to save up- being able to save up money for things you want is a privilege). I would hope people wouldn’t get into debt for something like this but I suppose some do.

SuffolkUnicorn · 27/03/2024 20:37

I had mine at the London independent hospital with Dr John Loy he is an amazing surgeon and has decades of experience

Candleab · 27/03/2024 20:40

SuffolkUnicorn · 27/03/2024 20:36

I could have written your post better word for word I went through the same had my sleeve last year

Edited
Show quote history

I'm sorry that you understand 💐

Vegetus · 27/03/2024 20:50

DrJoanAllenby · 27/03/2024 18:39

Egypt?

It's a gastric sleeve via keyhole surgery as I have just googled it.

Personally I think people are mad to endanger their lives by having surgery abroad.

The four women you know are lucky and I hope they don't have complications further down the line.

I also think it's laziness not to lose the weight through diet and exercise unless they have a medical condition. If they have a medical condition it makes it even riskier to go abroad.

The simple solution to all this is of course not go get fat in the first place but sadly everywhere you look today there are loads of overweight and obese people.

Oh fuck off with this shit.

theeyeofdoe · 27/03/2024 20:54

CharlotteStreetW1 · 27/03/2024 19:06

My friend had a gastric sleeve done in Turkey and has lost over five stone in less than a year. She has rheumatoid arthritis and says it has been life-changing and she is in so much less pain. Other weight-related issues have also eased apparently. We go away together and sadly she was beginning to hinder the rest of us which made her very unhappy.

It cost £3k all in, including flights etc. She did have some problems with a post-op bleed which necessitated more surgery (must have been terrifying as she was on her own) but is fine now although I don't know what the long term looks like food-wise and weight maintenance etc. The short term recovery sounded utterly miserable.

She didn't tell anyone before because everyone would have tried to talk her out of it which is true. I'd probably have been loudest!

I could probably do with some weight loss help and could afford it but I'm a massive coward. I'm really glad it's worked for her but the thought of it makes me shudder.

Well she’s obviously in less pain as she was overweight before.

the only thing the op does is stop you eating too much.
You can do that yourself - without the scar.

Whatifthehokeycokey · 27/03/2024 20:55

How much would the surgery cost privately in the UK?

I would worry about surgery in Egypt because so many people who go on holiday there seem to get sick.

Candleab · 27/03/2024 20:59

Whatifthehokeycokey · 27/03/2024 20:55

How much would the surgery cost privately in the UK?

I would worry about surgery in Egypt because so many people who go on holiday there seem to get sick.

Around 11k.

TheSolstices · 27/03/2024 21:00

theeyeofdoe · 27/03/2024 20:54

Well she’s obviously in less pain as she was overweight before.

the only thing the op does is stop you eating too much.
You can do that yourself - without the scar.

Show quote history

No one has ever thought of this before you.