AIBU in not feeling like I own my home?

[flyingworms]

I’m 30 and have finally gotten on the property ladder after over 10 years of renting. I’ve just got a mortgage on a 2 bed flat in London with my long term partner (we went in 50/50 on a 10% deposit)

I always thought this would feel like a huge milestone but the reality is I don’t feel like I own my home, I feel like the bank does!

Everyone is congratulating me but all I can think about is the massive debt I’ll be paying off for the rest of my working years. The mortgage repayments while within our means are eyewatering.

Did anyone else feel this way?

As others have said, it’s not about just owning your own place, with a mortgage. It’s also about having somewhere where you know you can’t be asked to leave by your landlord,and then having the stress of constantly moving from one rented place to another. And just being able to make that decision on whether you want to decorate differently, install a new kitchen, landscape your garden. I own my home now but spent years renting, and I would never want to go back there, it makes me so much more appreciative of what I now have. I’m surprised that isn’t what you think too, having been out in the brutal rental market previous to getting on the property ladder.

And thank heavens for that. Imagine if the bank could foreclose on your boobs!

Your other choice is renting and then you definitely don't own your own home! Paying off your mortgage feels like a lifetime away but one day you will get there.

The bank does own more of your home than you do. The big celebration comes when you pay the mortgage off!

I’m always baffled when people who’ve only just bought a house say I own my home and nobody can take it away from me. Erm…

But then I’m not good at ignoring these realities. Put it down to a rollercoaster upbringing!

We all have to pay for housing either through rent or mortgage or cash buyers. If you were renting you’d be paying that until you die.
However your mortgage will eventually be paid off.

It'll fly by. Dont see it as a debt - its an expense. Yes, you could be renting which is still an expense but you dont have control over what you do with the house.

We finish paying our mortgage in September (both will be 56). I have been on countdown now for 2 years and I constantly log on to our mortgage app to see how much we owe. The smaller the debt, the smaller the interest and the quicker it comes down.

I am beyond excited about the last payment. It feels as though its a major milestone and so worth all the years of mortgage payments!

Think of your mortgage payments as a rent that won't go up (unless interest rates go up)

😂

This is one of the reasons why I have ended up buying a boat instead of a bricks & mortar property. I love the boating lifestyle anyways, and for me a home should not be an investment, but I also just could not make it ok in my head to pay all this money to a bank in order to own a house. Perhaps if I had enough money to buy a property outright it would be different but I’m extremely happy in my choices and not having to worry about making mortgage payments if something happens and I’m unable to work/work as much for a period of time. As it is I’m able to have a beautiful home in a beautiful place that I can also take to other places should I wish. And, health allowing, I plan to retire to the waterways and travel around as much as possible, exploring all that canals in UK (and later Europe!) have to offer. There are more ways to live your life, but it entirely depends what you want!

I can relate. The first year felt much more stressful and, I dunno, serious than just paying rent. I understood the difference and advantages to paying rent in my head, but everything felt a bit precarious to me for a while. Like the whole house of cards could come tumbling down and I was only pretending to be a grown up anyway.

It doesn’t exactly help that people talk about “owning your own home” rather than calling it what it is. That adds to the imposter syndrome imo. It’s an enormous achievement and milestone all the same.