To wish that my sister's boyfriend didn't stay over all week?

[77yt]

My sister and I are both in our 20s and still live at home with parents, neither of us are in the financial position to move out. We both pay rent/keep. All 4 of us (5 with the boyfriend included) all share a single bathroom, which means in the morning it's already like a military operation to ensure that there is enough time to get in the bathroom before we all start work. However, with her boyfriend staying it's another person that needs to get in there and he ends up using my 'slot' which means I have to get up earlier at 5:45am.

Her boyfriend stays over every week night as he lives further out from his job, so by staying he shaves off 40 minutes of his commuter.

AIBU to think 5 adults trying to get in the bathroom before 8am is too many?

It is, but it's not your house so not your rules unfortunately.

Does the boyfriend contribute financially?

Personally I wouldn't be getting up earlier to facilitate him.

It is, but as said by pp of course not your house.

Can you look into moving out at all? You're working and already paying rent to your parents, I'd seriously look into a room/house share.
Five adults in a small house is untenable in the longer term.

Out of curiosity, does the boyfriend also pay rent?

Boyfriend should take the earlier slot.

can you save harder to move out?

what do your parents think?

DS GF stays over 3 nights a week and due to this DS chips in an extra £15 rent to cover her food. He volunteered this when we were discussing how much it costs to run the house. He needs to be the one getting up extra early and using first slot if he pays zero rent.

He doesn't get your time slot

He gets the early slot

he ends up using my 'slot' which means I have to get up earlier at 5:45am.

Why should you be the one to get up earlier?

Have you spoken to your parents, or to him?

It's pretty unfair, but if your parents aren't willing to deal with it then there's not a lot you can do really.

How much are you paying in rent there, and how much would a flatshare be in your area?

I don't really know her boyfriend as it's still a fairly new relationship, and I still see him as a 'guest' so I wouldn't want him to have to get up earlier. It should be my sister but she won't get up any earlier and my parents use the bathroom from 6-7 (and obviously they get first dibs as it's their house, I fit around them).

My parents agree with me and I think they're secretly frustrated by it too but would never say anything!

So tell your sister you want your slot back. How the two of them solve it is their own problem.

So all 3 of you are tiptoeing around your sister and her boyfriend?
Do none of you have a backbone?

Waaay too much. He’s also not a guest (not in the true sense) so don’t tiptoe round him

There's been a whole lot of threads by adults with bathroom issues in their parents houses recently.

Tell your sister you will be keeping your usual slot, or, move out. What's the issue?

So you are all frustrated but no one is doing anything about it?
It won’t change then.

Your parents need to address it with your sister. You need to stay out of it.

@FineWordsButterNoParsnips I thought the same! Are they the same overgrown teens or are there lots of them?

He's not a guest but a cf. Tell him to take earlier slot.

Also any chance of adding a shower or sink into one of bedrooms?

You need to tell your sister he's inconveniencing you and she needs to sort it.

Firstly, you should ask him if he has realised the impact. Then propose a rota - 10 minutes each is enough, certainly 15. Changes each week.

I would also start some serious saving and planning to move out.

Does he even know there are slots and that he has been using yours?

here's your problem. Speak to your sister. Tell her that her guests needs to stop using YOUR bathroom slot. You are facilitating this and it's ridiculous.

Your poor parents!
Of course he shouldn’t take your slot.

Why won't your parents say anything? Why won't you have a word with your sister?
A "guest' is somebody who occasionally visits for a day or two. Your sister's boyfriend is basically a lodger living for zero pounds a week.
I'd also worry he was using her for the sake of an easier commute.

If he stays over every week night for his own convenience then no, he isn't a guest and can be told when to use the bathroom (i.e. around full time residents who have no choice).

You need either your parents to speak to your sister and him together, or to ensure your parents won't undermine you doing so.

Draw up a bathroom rota.

Your sister should give up her slot if she doesn't want him to go earliest.

As I say, he isn't a guest if he's staying this often. Maybe an agreement about not staying every night is in order too. 5 adults is a lot.

To add, if he continues staying 5 nights he should contribute. People pay to be week night lodgers.

I would also suggest he doesn't shower in the mornings. He can do it at night, at home or at work.