To announce some good news

[RussellJack]

Okay, so this is unlikely to feature on the BBC this evening, but I am turning 50 very soon and have heard so many women say here that they stopped giving a fuck about being liked, pleasing people etc at around this age. This worried me as I continue to care about what people think of me, feel pain when I am not liked/included, wonder what I have done wrong. etc etc
But HARK: today in work I found out that for some time there has been a work group chat among my other colleagues where they share social things, jokes etc, and which I was never invited to join. And I waited after finding this out for the feelings of insecurity/self loathing to arise in me, and.............nothing! I don't give a fuck! I feel so liberated!! I may very well have reached the zero fucks to give threshold! Yayyyyyyyy!!!!! Really looking forward to the rest of my zero fucks life now! 😃😅😆

Love the but Hark! 🤣🤣. Properly made me chuckle.

Yay! Come and join us in the DGAF club!! It’s brilliant!!

There was a select little W/app group at work that you could only join if “your face fitted”. I laughed out loud when I found out. Made zero difference to my life!!
Enjoy your new-found freedom from such crap as this!! 🥂

I’m soon to be 54 and I do still care what people think - starting a new job after being made redundant in Jan and can’t enable the DGAF function.

I want to get on well and want them to like me - I know I am a people pleaser so will follow this thread as I need some tips. On HRT now so maybe it’s overriding my DGAF functionality.

Joint the DGAF realm actually makes people like you - it’s weird people like straight talking woman .

I just need to get the eye rolls under control (or maybe not)

"All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism."

I’m with you

I got there at 40, pregnant with DS2. I wrote in the birth plan that the baby would decide how to feed. A shirty midwife said what’s that supposed to mean? I explained clearly that that was my experience - and I realised then that I couldn’t care less what she thought. Bloody brilliant!

Fantastic!

Ahhhh it's great to NGAF.

I'm almost there, it's been a tough journey, and I've been blessed with very judgemental DM and DMIL. Strangely I was at my worst with young children, petrified to do the right thing. But that's all gone now. COVID finished it off. Do you think it's to do with being 60, and invisible. One of the best things about NGAF is embarrassing my now adult kids!!

Well done Op x

Happy 50th! Zero fucks to give! - this is great, I feel a range of cards and merchandise coming on!

OP, you've brightened my day. Giving fewer fucks is one of the best things about ageing. NFG is a higher state of being

I applaud you OP!

it's such a peaceful feeling, enjoy the years to come being fuck free.

Love these replies, I’m going to take out this thread and read it again anytime the fucks-to-give start to accumulate again 😁.
And yes, for those like me who put so many years and kilojoules into trying to please, even please people we may not even care much about, one of the shocking things about this life is that every valuable lesson takes so damn long to learn.

I absolutely love zero fucks life. Can I also recommend a fuck it bucket? If you feel in danger of giving a fuck chuck it in the fuck it bucket. Job done.

Congratulations 🎉 It really is a very liberating feeling. I am 52 and last year was the first one in which I stopped sending birthday cards and cheques to the people who hadn't sent us any for years! It's saved us a fortune and I haven't even added them to this year's diary.

Everyone should post their DGAF story or epiphany. The one that left jaws dropped at the cavalier disregard for opinions or offence given as you swept on by. I will think of mine - there are quite a few….

I've started to care less about upsetting people at work in emails this past year (I'm 56) but need to up my game!

My DGAF 'journey' started with canvassing for Repeal. I was shy but did it anyway, got dogs abuse on some doorsteps, had a breakdown after, and realised after that that I was stronger than I had realised. Definitely had bumps in the road after, but I went a long way in overcoming my shrinking violet syndrome.

Oh wow, doing that in the culture in which you did it was brave. I stood by cheering you all on from the slide lines, no way I was knocking on doors 😨

It's hard to describe, but the strength of feeling about it overtook everything else in me. There was an absolute rage almost every night as I watched Primetime or the news or anything that covered it. And I had never been in the position to need an abortion, so I really cannot imagine how awful it was for those that did having to hear that absolute horseshit. That whole campaign (and gay marriage, but not quite to the same extent) was life changing for me.

When I had my DGAF epiphany, my friend bought me this badge to celebrate 🍾.

Splendid.

You have to tell us where she got that! So cool!!!

This is brilliant. I had the privilege of knowing some of the female lawyers that campaigned heavily for Repeal and it was an absolute success. Huge admiration for everyone that took part 💪