To announce some good news

[RussellJack]

Okay, so this is unlikely to feature on the BBC this evening, but I am turning 50 very soon and have heard so many women say here that they stopped giving a fuck about being liked, pleasing people etc at around this age. This worried me as I continue to care about what people think of me, feel pain when I am not liked/included, wonder what I have done wrong. etc etc
But HARK: today in work I found out that for some time there has been a work group chat among my other colleagues where they share social things, jokes etc, and which I was never invited to join. And I waited after finding this out for the feelings of insecurity/self loathing to arise in me, and.............nothing! I don't give a fuck! I feel so liberated!! I may very well have reached the zero fucks to give threshold! Yayyyyyyyy!!!!! Really looking forward to the rest of my zero fucks life now! 😃😅😆

I'm 52 this year. Haven't had any fucks to give for a while.
I am currently wearing pink and purple striped socks with animal print leggings and if I go out I put my daisy print sneakers and a bobble hat with meow written on it on.
I probably hurt people's eyes with the clashing patterns, but I don't care.
I refuse to wear everything black or beige.

That really is the best thing about getting older - realising what is important and what isn't. 60+ and wish I felt this way years ago. Literally couldn't give 2 shits when people are being bitchy, nasty etc 😀, just move on and enjoy life.

I’ve always been a giver of fairly few fucks, but mid-forties and pandemic lockdowns removed any fucks I had left. It is marvellous.

Yes OP! Welcome to the life of the zero fucks given! I'm six years in and it's bloody marvellous. I've even gone NC with my long time toxic sibling which is like a weight lifted off my shoulders.
If people love me and care for me and they show it - I reciprocate. If they can't be arsed then neither can I.

Slightly different but at 44 I am working on not giving a fuck what people think of my clothes and how I look in general. I am happy in my body, have my own unique style that doesn’t follow trends, I love to eat and drink good wine, I’m healthy (mostly) and I will never be a size 8!! Life is too damn precious to be counting macros and living at the gym. I wasted so much time in trying to achieve perfection! Judge me all you want….I don’t give a fuck!!

@RussellJack thank you for this post and yay for you!! . 🥰

This is giving me hope, I'm 42 and still ridiculously care about things that I know logically I shouldn't give a fuck about, I can't wait to rejoice in that feeling.

Congratulations OP! For me this was one of the first things about Peri. I remember discussing this when a group of us turned 40.

With all the lack of fucks being given here, I am fearful we will run out of them altogether 😂

I'm the same age, it is possible!

Welcome to the club!

One of the best feelings ever! Welcome to the club OP! You'll never look back :-)

Love it!!!

Congratulations! I was 50 when I realised that everyone I like and would want to be liked by likes me! I've run that past a lot of people now, and everyone who thought about it said the same. It blew my mind and I was so frustrated at the time I'd spent worrying that people I couldn't care less about didn't seem to care about me.

It's very freeing isn't it 🥰

Love this, congrats! I'm 30 this year and unfortunately do still give a lot of fucks and wish I didn't. I definitely give a few less since having my kids and getting a new perspective on life but hoping the rest of my fucks continue to dwindle over the coming years

I'm almost 39 and still in the lots of fucks given camp.. it's draining 😩 I envy you, OP! Can't wait to get there myself!

The kids will definitely knock them out of you 😂

I'm 39 with 2 kids and I still have fucks to give 😭 When will mine be knocked out? Menopause I'm hoping?? 😂

"What others think of me is not my business."

My mantra. It's just the polite way of saying I don't honestly care about others opinions of me. I'm just absolutely rock solid in my belief in myself as a decent person. That's all I need. I'm OK.

I spent my 20s riddled with insecurity. Most of my 30s too actually... motherhood knocked it on the head for me. Something about growing a human being in my uterus, surviving the absolute agony of labour, and the complete reorientation of the purpose of my life around my children's safety and happiness means I simply DO NOT GIVE A FUCK about what any other fucker thinks of me. I don't have room for it, they do not matter. Not needing to be liked is an absolute bloody revelation. Unfortunate that it came so late. If I'd had this superpower in my 20s I could have been amazing!

Keep working on this, and in a few years you might go one better, from not giving a fuck to actually thanking god. Like when "the girls" plan a weekend away with all their kids and don't invite you. Abso-bloody-fantastic! Work people don't invite you out? Brilliant - no need to come up with an excuse. And if you do accidentally get invited, a simple "it's just not my thing" flows seamlessly. Hooray for middle age!

That's worthy of being printed on a t shirt or something! I will try to commit it memory!

@duckydoo234 yes, JOMO! The Joy Of Missing Out!

I love missing out on giving lifts, arranging taxis, sending money across, discussing what to wear.

Also every last detail of someone's wedding plans, holiday plans, birthday party plans. Just don't give a shiny shit. Especially at work.

Enjoy the clarity of mind and thought that comes along without all this nonsense cluttering valuable thought space.

Good innit. 😁

Welcome!