Should I bin my friend's art?

[Joyjazz]

My friend painted me a picture. The sentiment was lovely but I really hate it. It's not my taste and not in keeping with my house. I keep it behind the TV and hang it whenever she comes to visit so I don't hurt her feelings as she is really proud of this piece and spent many weeks making it. I'm moving to a new house and I don't want to be carrying things that I don't like or want to my new home. I want to take the frame and bin the actual painting. She's a good friend and she is likely to visit and possibly ask where the art is.

AIBU to put the painting in the bin?

Oh Lord! That is nightmare fodder! That was on "Friends"? When?

If someone gave me something like that, I'm not sure if I would laugh or cry.

I still think we need to see the "real" painting as it cannot be worse than the above. This story sounds like a certain auto commercial in the USA.

That is not the painting in question. It's from a Friends episode.

You can't bin it, you've made a rod for your own back by hanging it when she is around so she thinks you like it.

Be honest with her and tell her you don't have space for it at your new place.
Then offer to either give it back to her or donate to charity
She may be a little hurt but it's better than throwing it away- she did take time and effort to make it for you.

I am going to have to find that episode!

I think given that:

A) This is the plot of two very famous sitcom episodes;
B) The OP uses rather gleeful language about “putting it in the bin” and keeping the frame, rather than just speaking more generically about not displaying it; and
C) The OP hasn’t returned to the thread

it’s probably not the OP’s friend who’s being a little bit “creative”.

This is totally wrong. People who gift art are giving generously. Whether we like it or not is another matter.

What a load of old shit!

😂

Oh get over yourself and do the right thing . Just hang it somewhere and know that you’re a good pal

I dont agree with giving unsolicited art work to people. Art is highly personal and you put them in a really awkward position of either having to be honest that you hate it or lying and then pretending you like it.

Yes, the intention was thoughtful and kind but art is so, so subjective that you cannot just assume that what you like, others will also like.

I think if this is a good friend, I'd be honest. I'd say "X, thank you so much for the gift- it was incredibly thoughtful and kind of you. However, I have to be honest with you as I respect you- it's just not my style and it really doesnt go with the decoration in my new house. I appreciate your gesture and my intentions arent to hurt you but I need to be honest with you"

If she gets angry about it then that says more about her and a good friend will accept that your intentions are also good. If I was the friend, I'd far rather someone be honest with me than lie to my face and have to put it back up every time I came round. Definitely look at the friends episode and the Frasier episode of the mess you can get in by not being honest with people about art. It only leads to more and more lies in the end. Honesty doesnt have to be unkind or rude, it can actually be very respectful but its all down to the delivery of it.

OK which episode ? I need to watch that while I do my tread.

Friends episode "the one with Ross' grant"

Frasier episode "our father whose art aint heaven"

😂

Tell her you're moving and the new painting will not be coming with you, give her the opportunity to either have the painting back to regift etc or let her know you'll be taking to a charity shop

don't put the painting in the bin and don't reuse the frame

Yes I threw away the awful painting my old amateur artist mate Picasso gave me as a present. It wasn’t to my taste, his art was never going to be popular, the bin was the best place for such infantile scribble. I’ve never regretted it.

This^
Although I think you've been put in a position by your friend who just assumes you would like it. We have a friend who keeps saying 'we'd love' one of his paintings and even picked a wall that one of his paintings would 'look amazing' on. He failed to see the importance of the family photo's currently occupying the space. Some people's lack of self-awareness is astounding!!

Tell her that you you’ve lost the hammer so can’t put it up.

That was Penny’s solution in The Big Bang Theory.

I wouldn't even take a picture, it'll give me nightmares just seeing it on my phone.

The friend could have spent years making it, it's still horrible. Personally I would have been honest when I received it, but as the OP has gone to so much trouble trying to spare her friend's feelings, the move the right time to make it disappear for good. And it needs to disappear because it's a monstrosity, NOT just an amateur painting.

It's beyond horrific.

I’m sorry to say that I believe it’s worse …

My lovely friend isn’t a professional artist, she does crafts in her spare time. I think I’ll go with the hang it in the bedroom/study option and then remove it after a while and store it.

I’m terrified that she might make another one as a “house warming” gift, so I don’t want to show too much enthusiasm as it would be sad if she spent more time making something that I don’t want to display

@Alondra that isn’t the picture, it is Phoebe’s from Friends.

For those asking which episode, you can see an example of Phoebe’s artwork hung in her flat in a number of episodes

So difficult without seeing it-

Is it just completely unreedmingly awful or just not to your specific taste-for example you like impressionist ballerinas and it is cubist or something like that?

Could you hang it in the loo and embrace the awfulness?

I had a friend once give me framed photographs-professionally taken-of HER children!!

You would chuck something in the bin that a good friend had spent many weeks making and is really proud of?

Yes. If they choose to spend weeks on something they dont even know their friend would even like, thats on them. It's pretty arrogant to assume that just because you created something everyone is going to absolutely love it. It could be utterly hideous. If I spend weeks making some naff piece of macaroni jewellery that resembles a primary school kids homework should I then expect my friend to wear it to her next business meeting?

The OP never claimed that was the painting....

A PP did as a joke

Why do so many people think it’s ok to just blatantly lie to and mislead their friends? Just be honest ffs. If you talk to them kindly, but honestly and they really are your friends it will be fine. If they kick off that says more about them than you. The incessant need to fake please people and then moaning about it, or slagging them off behind their back is really shitty.

@Joyjazz I think the picture looks very creepy and ugly in fact ! I would surely put it in a bedroom , hang it when she comes , show her it once and she won’t expect to see it again , bedroom is private . If you got another frame in your bedroom at the moment , just swap it around with the ugly picture when she comes around and then swap it back when she leaves . It won’t take that much room in your house to store in upright in your wardrobe on something , or laid flat under the bed ? I would not throw it away as it’s nasty , she spent so much time on it , and if you took it to charity shop , she might find it there one day and she would be so disappointed that you have lied to her .