Husband's Reactions!

[MrsHankSchrader]

I don't know whether AIBU but I don't think my husband's reactions are normal. He has no patience and goes mad at little things.

For example this morning, I got a full chicken out the fridge from Aldi to cook for example (it was in date btw) and upon opening it, it smelt funny, I asked my husband to smell it, he said the same. I therefore couldn't cook it, he's on a late shift and was going to take some for his tea.

His response to me was have you bought another? No as we had one in the fridge! Then I got for f@cks sake I've nothing for my f@ckin tea now!!! I had just bought him some frozen salmon so I said cook that and take that for your tea. No he said, I want that for my dinner before I go to work.

I told him it wasn't my fault that the chicken smelt funny, he was in date, I therefore got the comments of well it's been there for a few days why haven't you cooked it before now!!

AIBU in that I hate his reaction to things? He says I'm too soft all the time when I tell him how it makes me feel.

I've just had to come out the house for a bit.

Yes mine would.
Sorry your husband is such a twat.

Ffs. Was that really necessary? Do you feel better now?

Yep. Life without him. 👆

Hey? 🙄

If in 10 years time you saw your daughter being spoken to like that by her partner what would your advice be?

Take your own advice.

I'd react like your oh to be honest. Not ideal he needs to work out better strategies as do i

If you want to get a glimpse into your possible future, let me tell you about my life.

My Mother was exactly like your husband. Us three children were to blame for everything, she thought she was God’s gift and would shout at us for any accidents, call us names, blame us for things that weren’t our fault, used us as an emotional punchbag, didn’t treat us with very much love or kindness.

My Father was very passive, he was treated like shit by our Mother too. He allowed her to treat him and us badly.

Fast forward 20 years. He’s still married to her today and is miserable as sin, I feel so sad for him at the miserable life he has chosen to stay in.

All three of us barely have any contact with our Mum and Dad. I’m angry at how she treated us. I’m just as angry at my dad for passively staying with her. Do you want this for you and your daughter in 20 years time?

Leave him. That is all. What an irredeemable arsehole he is.

Life is too short for you and your children to have to put up with this shit.

Whats your situation? Do you work? Have you got access to your own money?

@Sausage1989

its such a shame when people don't have any experiences outside of their own wee village..

I just feel that other peoples partners/husbands might have said oh never mind I will make something else to take

I can well imagine dh saying 'Oh for fucks sake!'. Maybe even slinging the offending chicken in the bin with some welly. Irritation is normal, people aren't generally saints and they're allowed to be annoyed, even by minor inconveniences.

The difference is that dh's irritation would be aimed at the chicken and Aldi...not at me, whose fault it clearly isn't. And after a one minute grumpy sulk to himself, he'd get some eggs out or whatever and just move on.

Your dh repeatedly questioning you and berating you over it is not normal and not something you should have to get used to.

Seriously?

You would shout at your spouse because he/she couldn’t magic up the exact meal you needed at the click of a finger?

I don’t understand what the upside is to being in a marriage like this

No I wouldn't shout and scream at them. I'd shout and scream about the shittiness of the situation and how planning on both of our sides needs to improve.

Give over. Unless someone's life is in imminent danger, shouting and screaming is never acceptable. For fuck's sake.

Why would you say this?
we used to have breakfast, dinner and dinner where I grew up 😁

I had one like this. Now divorced.

Situations like in @MrsHankSchrader 's OP are a double delight for an abuser. There they are just going about their usual business when something unexpected happens. It's a gift to them - they now have a valid excuse, in their eyes, to vent their wrath on their victim and they haven't had to do any work for it, to make it happen. Their apparent anger isn't necessarily their genuine emotion.

Hope you're single then, people like you shouldn't inflict yourselves on others, especially if you're self aware that you're arseholes.