Aibu to think most "gifted" children come from well off, affluent families?

[Blueballoons1]

Eg start instruments or sports very early, can afford top tuition, often a parent has the skills to teach the dc at home, they have the time & money to travel around the country for events.. Parents oversee practice is done at home.. Whereas they may well be quite medicore compared to a child with raw talent whose parents just cannot afford what it takes..
I just feel for music, sports or academics money & an affluent background is part of the parcel for the majority of "gifted kids"..

[downsizedilemma]

My brother and I were gifted children academically and so are my DC and my DNephews/Nieces. None of us has ever had a 'gifted' label but academics came very easily and we have all done/are doing very well in school/university. This wasn't about money per se, none of us grew up in a particularly affluent household, it was more about growing up in an environment where critical thinking/discussion was highly valued from an early age and intellectual independence was highly prized. So I do agree with you that parental input is extremely important.

BTW, I think being 'gifted' is a real mixed blessing and can create a lot of difficulty socially and emotionally.

[Blueballoons1]

I just think that after covid, the cost of living crisis & also the teaching crisis is detrimental to children who are naturally gifted & only parents with money, contacts, knowledge of the actual skill involved or the time to assist at home can help a gifted child...especially in expensive time consuming activities such as rowing, music, academics, musical theatre etc...

[Chipsweep]

Depends what they are gifted in. Music and sport yes progressing to the top tiers requires money, and undoubtedly children who are malnourished aren’t able to develop to their full intellectual potential. But being gifted at something like maths or chess often seems pretty random and not connected to family background.

[Blueballoons1]

@downsizedilemma

My brother and I were gifted children academically and so are my DC and my DNephews/Nieces. None of us has ever had a 'gifted' label but academics came very easily and we have all done/are doing very well in school/university. This wasn't about money per se, none of us grew up in a particularly affluent household, it was more about growing up in an environment where critical thinking/discussion was highly valued from an early age and intellectual independence was highly prized. So I do agree with you that parental input is extremely important.

BTW, I think being 'gifted' is a real mixed blessing and can create a lot of difficulty socially and emotionally.

Yes this is exactly what I mean, you said you weren't particularly affluent @downsizedilemma but you had the parental support which is vital.

[PTSDBarbiegirl]

IME the most genuinely gifted children haven't come from privileged backgrounds. It's true to say though that aspirational parents are most likely to push children and then self describe as 'gifted'. I have met very few genuinely gifted children, out of 1000's I've worked with and they are now, an incredible well known artist, successful musician, high achieving engineer, scientist, architect, Google exec and writer. Every single one is neurodiverse and had creative, open minded supportive parents but not privileged.

[Overtheatlantic]

My husband went to a bog standard comprehensive school in south Wales and was gifted to the extent that he taught advanced maths to several classmates at the back of the class room. He didn’t have private tutors or rich parents. He was truly gifted.

[Thepeopleversuswork]

It depends what you mean by "gifted". In the true sense of the word this means children who are one in a million: genius level mathematicians or violinists who have the potential to be soloists at the London Philharmonic.

There are a tiny number of such children. The vast vast majority of parents who describe their children as "gifted" are misled and just mean their child has an aptitude for this and they want to support them.

I don't think there's any correlation between being truly "gifted" and your social/financial status. It's genetic and it's something you either have or don't have -- it can't really be taught. Poor kids are just as likely to be mathematical geniuses are rich ones. The point is that the affluent families have the resources and the social capital to support any promise in their kids so kids who are not "gifted" but have aptitude are much more likely to succeed if they come from relatively prosperous backgrounds because they will benefit from the specialist attention.

[Blueballoons1]

@Chipsweep

Depends what they are gifted in. Music and sport yes progressing to the top tiers requires money, and undoubtedly children who are malnourished aren’t able to develop to their full intellectual potential. But being gifted at something like maths or chess often seems pretty random and not connected to family background.

Yes but with chess & maths the top kids in the bunch will still have money, time & resources pumped into them which will increase the advantages they had naturally..
Eg the chess kid may be brought all around the country & to Europe for tournaments.. The maths kid may get extra tutoring & extra support in school. May attend maths olimpiades which are costly to travel to.
At the end of the day to reach the top money is essential.

[Blueballoons1]

@PTSDBarbiegirl

IME the most genuinely gifted children haven't come from privileged backgrounds. It's true to say though that aspirational parents are most likely to push children and then self describe as 'gifted'. I have met very few genuinely gifted children, out of 1000's I've worked with and they are now, an incredible well known artist, successful musician, high achieving engineer, scientist, architect, Google exec and writer. Every single one is neurodiverse and had creative, open minded supportive parents but not privileged.

Even though not privileged they obviously had very supportive parents who were able to see what their kids could access to develop their gifts.

[JudgeJ]

@Overtheatlantic

My husband went to a bog standard comprehensive school in south Wales and was gifted to the extent that he taught advanced maths to several classmates at the back of the class room. He didn’t have private tutors or rich parents. He was truly gifted.

I would be willing to bet that he did have interested and supportive parents though which is what many children of all abilities lack.

[Octavia64]

The really gifted in maths don't need the extra tutoring.

Exhibit A

Terence Tao

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terence_Tao

[Adhdorlazy]

I think that ‘gifted’ kids are often ones who have an unusually mature approach to study, practice.

and in sport, for example, some kids just ‘get it’ , and are more likely to focus, listen to coaches etc.

I have 2 kids - one is like this, the other is not. However, I’d say there isn’t a big difference in innate ability. The older one is just as bright, but is just not that interested ( at the moment)

I think that probably 10% of kids fit this reading of ‘gifted.’ Obviously in wealthier families, they can throw more money and opportunities at this personality type. So it appears they are mostly wealthy.

[Barrenfieldoffucks]

I agree to an extent. Facilitating and enabling talent takes time and money. Our eldest has discovered a real talent and love for rowing, she is definitely 'gifted' at it. This leads to us driving her here there and everywhere, buying kits getting the gym membership, chaperoning overnight stays for competitions etc.

Sure, she could still row for the cost of a membership fee, but to progress etc it takes investment. Middle child is showing a musical talent, so music lessons etc are now paid for.

[OneRingToRuleThemAll]

All the gifted children I know (including my daughter) is autistic. She is a bundle of knowing that she can reel off, but she can't communicate with people effectively.

[OutwiththeOutCrowd]

Raw potential may not be that unusual but the conditions that allow potential to be converted into noticeable achievement, and a label of giftedness to be given, are often dependent on parental means and motivation.

So I do think to an extent that the phenomenon of giftedness exists at a family level rather than an individual child level.

[TudorClock]

I agree with you, OP.

It shouldn't be like this but it is.

One of my dcs plays chess well. This month he was at a regional final for a national championship. His team is 25 kids from one region eg South East...18 out of the 25 are at private school.

Noticeably 3 of the state school children were all from the same tiny primary school that has a chess program led by one really committed teacher. The teacher brought all 3 of these children in a school minibus, all the other kids were brought by parents.

So I think an inspirational teacher can bridge the gap, if your child is lucky enough to have a teacher like that.

[ZippedOpenMouth]

My friend has a gifted only child . He didn't revise but aced his GCSEs . He was the top apprentice again no effort . BUT he is also very very confident and is not afraid to tackle anything or take risks and he is very likeable. His parents are working class . I think it's a combination of brains and confidence and good social skills .

[Dweetfidilove]

Many children are gifted (naturally talented) in music, sports and education but without affluent parents, so unless it’s something they can do without much financial/social input you will never discover their brilliance.

You probably notice it more among the affluent, as they have the money to nurture these talents. Most things require money to take it all the way. Piano - equipment, tuition, graded exams, entry fees for performances…

I’m attending a dance show soon - the kids have so far paid for the venue and costumes (£60), extra clothes pieces from Amazon etc (£50), makeup class (£5), spray tan evening (£30). All separate to the £25 I have to pay to go and watch.

Inequality dims the lights of many equally if not more talented people.

[RubyOtter]

I think having supportive parents is a privilege in itself.

Supportive parents willing to put themselves out for their gifted children another huge privilege.

I think many people (incorrectly) assume the above are pretty standard.

[Swivked]

Gifted is very different to high achieving and they don't always cross over. Truly gifted means SEN usually ASD although sometimes ADHD. Gifted plus achievement almost always requires well resourced engaged parents. They fight hard for those kids. The different wiring required for being gifted always means difficulties as well.

[BadSkiingMum]

I was previously a primary teacher and never really came across any child whom I would characterise as academically gifted. There were children who stood out as being above the rest of the ability range, but they had often been given a lot of parental input early on e.g. learning to read before starting school.

I do believe that extra-ordinarily gifted children exist, but that they are far less common than one might believe. I was rather surprised when I then came on MN and found a whole section devoted to gifted children!

There is also the reputed ‘10,000 hours effect’ of giving someone exposure and repeated opportunities to improve their abilities in a specific field.

‘Battle Him of the Tiger Mother’ is an interesting read.

I do roll my eyes slightly when it comes to expensive sports like show jumping, eventing or dressage. Yes, Zara Tindall is clearly very good at her sport but I think the equestrian parents, acres of land and having horses since she was a tiny tot did something to help her on her way…

[alpenguin]

My kids are academically gifted. We are not by any stretch wealthy. We do value education.

We can’t afford music lessons but both our kids show aptitude for music that doesn’t mean they would or wouldn’t be gifted.

what you’re discussing are children who have the means to practice and develop a skill to a higher standard than those who cannot. That’s not what being gifted is

[KalaMush]

Academic and music - yes I agree.

Sports - this may be true for sports requiring lots of expensive equipment etc. But the kids I know who are very talented at football tend to come from less privileged backgrounds. Basically they spent all their time outside playing football with their friends from a young age.

[5128gap]

No, actually I don't. Some of the greatest natural talents (gifted) people we have in a variety of fields (but particular arts and sports) come from the working classes. Children from affluent families just recieve advantages that enable the good to shine even more brightly, and elevate the mediocre to success.

[Chipsweep]

@Blueballoons1

Yes but with chess & maths the top kids in the bunch will still have money, time & resources pumped into them which will increase the advantages they had naturally..
Eg the chess kid may be brought all around the country & to Europe for tournaments.. The maths kid may get extra tutoring & extra support in school. May attend maths olimpiades which are costly to travel to.
At the end of the day to reach the top money is essential.

Maybe in the past (like 30+ years ago) but I really don’t think that’s the case now. I know a lot of talented mathematicians and they just taught it all to themselves which you can do for free from library textbooks or more likely on the internet. Most of the time teachers don’t know how to deal with very advanced mathematicians so they are just left to it, even at selective schools. Entering the BMO is free and done in school. Likewise there is a lot of internet chess now so no need to travel.