So I have a close friend living in Texas who got cancer over a year ago and has been through the mill with chemo, had to get a kidney removed etc. We've been friends for almost 20 years and stayed in touch despite living in different continents over the years. I know she values my friendship and sees me as a sister. I've visited her in Poland, Spain and Texas where she now lives on 2 occasions. While I love her dearly & consider her a good friend, she can be extremely high maintenance& very needy at times which I find hard to handle at times. At one stage a few years ago I had to take a step back from the friendship as I was finding the friendship quite draining. The problem is she is one of those people that I think has never learned to be comfortable with herself and her own company and is quite unhappy in herself. She can also be very negative and complains about everything and for the last ten years or so I've had to listen to her complain about every aspect of her life in Texas. On the other hand she's a very empathetic, kind, intelligent, loyal and supportive friend. Last year, just after she found out she had cancer, she asked me to come over from Ireland where I live and be there for her whilst she was starting out on her cancer journey. Despite some misgivings , I went over to her in the height of August when the heat was brutal and it was almost impossible to be out during the day. I can't say I enjoyed my time there and to be honest I hated Texas and found the heat absolutely brutal so was never so glad to leave and get back to cool& green Ireland. It was also an emotional rollercoaster of a trip and quite exhausting in many ways.
It's now almost 9 months later and she's been doing a lot better, in a much more positive frame of mind and the chemo seems to have worked. She's been looking better, her hair's grown back and she generally seems in better spirits. However, she texted me today saying that she wanted to chat to me and had a proposal for me. Because I know her and how she thinks, I'm 99% sure she's going to ask me to come out to Texas again and offer to pay for my flights etc. I'm dreading it. I have absolutely no desire to ever set foot in Texas ever again nor do I particularly want to listen to her complain about how unhappy she is there. Can I say no or am I a total selfish bitch if I do?
Incidentally, she doesn't have a partner( a source of a lot of unhappiness for her) or a large family-parents both dead& she has just 2 sisters, neither of whom have even gone over to be with her during her cancer treatment (a bit of a dysfunctional sibling relationship)I am probably the closest thing she has to family . This I feel puts a lot of pressure on me as her friend...