What you advice be to your 31 year old self?

[PurpleDinos]

…need a bit of pick me up. I’m 31, single for about 7 months after an 8 year relationship. Lonely, tired and hopeless…

maybe I can find some comfort and advice in your replies!

Honestly just don't sweat the small stuff. Sometimes when you over plan things, they don't work out the way you hoped they would. Just enjoy finding your feet being newly single and the journey that it will bring you on. Life has given me many WTF (wonderful) times that I just wouldn't have even thought possible xxx

Say yes every time someone offers you a cup of tea.

Do stuff, enjoy stuff, don't wait for stuff to happen.

Learn what you need to care for yourself and don't stop doing it even when you feel good.

Op similar here single 3 months after 8 year release. 30, single mum to two small children. Honestly will be reading what people have to say on this one. I understand OP 😂 it feels brutal some days.

@Mumtogirlss so sorry to hear! Hope you’re copying well and have some support with your children x

Do you mean general advice or do you mean in the context of being single?

General advice I would have shaken into myself was

• lose weight now
• go to the toilet every single place there is a loo
• do more exercise
• make sure you secure your financial independence and pay into a bloody pension

On the being single - you dont know how lucky you are!!!

Keep having fun. It will stand you in good stead.

Always be as kind as you can, but don't be a doormat.

Say "yes" more.

It's harder to shift arse fat when you get older, so don't encourage it by living in leggings and elasticated waists.

Don't feel you have to be in a relationship to be happy.

Travel as much as you can, while you can. See the world, if you don't fancy going on your own then go on escorted tours.

It's perfectly ok to stay in on a Saturday night.

Appreciate life. Sit in your garden, or on your balcony, close your eyes, breathe deeply and slowly and listen. Listen to the birds, kids playing, someone's dog barking, your own heartbeat.

Work provides money, so it is important, do the best you can. But it's not the be all and end all.

Do a bit of volunteering if you can.

Get a decent bra.

Get a decent mattress.

Work out what makes you happy, and be content to be yourself.

1. Sort out your finances to secure your future.
2. Get a really great haircut from an amazing hairdresser.
3. Organise a weekend away every month for the next six months either on your own or with a friend.
4. Look at your work. Do you enjoy it? Can you do better? Now is the time to learn new skills for your next job.
5. Declutter your wardrobe, your social media, your home.

You'll feel better.

"Hello younger me, be more middle aged!"

Except for the travelling bit.

Me personally? It would be "don't sell your house and go to a rented bungalow,stick where you are so you don't end up nearly being made homeless 10 years later by a scumbag ex landlord"

Enjoy it. My 30s was my best decade. I finally felt confident to be myself. Don't let anyone put you down. This is a great era!
I'm in my mid 40s now and probably didn't fully appreciate how much I grew in that period.

And the being kind bit.

Leave him.

Stop pining after dickheads, crack on with enjoying life and keep trying to get a new job. And try and get away with friends for a weekend or longer if possible.

I met my lovely DH when I was 33. You are nowhere near being beyond hope OP!

Don't fall in love with him. He'll break your heart.

id tell 31 year old me to do the course. Change career direction. Do not wait until dh, who has moved jobs and directions many times, says it is a good time.

Go

I'd tell myself leave him now. Don't wait around for him to change.
So I guess I'm saying being single is better than wasting time with the wrong person.
I was nearly 40 by the time I did leave him.

Go on lots of dates and have sex (if you want to) with anyone who you find attractive and feel safe with from those dates. Wish I'd down a few more oats as they say.

Go out and meet new people in new places you never know who you might be, could be a new friend or a sexy stranger.

Say yes more, if you enjoy it book some trips, treat yourself. Maybe look at a job overseas for a short period if work allows it.

explore the world and yourself.

Pay in more pension contribution, move to different location with good secondary school.

Life is right now.

Wear more beige.

Don't forget to put the bins out.

My advice to my 31 year old self would have been “Get out of this relationship NOW, you bloody idiot’.

It will happen, enjoy your life now... honestly..just enjoy it ..your young and beautiful and no ties....go for it...do anything you want

I tell 31 year old me to go out more, travel more and go on more dates and have more sex. I didn't manage to do those things but I did manage to retrain and change career at 31, and I am very happy I did.