To think the PoW’s diagnosis makes healthy living seem pointless?

[Notsuretoputit]

I try my best to live heathily (although definitely not fanatical). I try and stay away from ultra processed foods, try and avoid saturated fat, too much meat etc., try and exercise every week. I’ll have the odd takeaway and definitely overindulge on wine, but always try and be mindful of living heathily because so much information is constantly battering me through the radio, media etc. about getting ill from various foods and not exercising.

I’ve recently lost my mother far too young too, so I suppose it’s particularly on my mind at the moment. But then you hear Kate’s diagnosis, who obviously exercises regularly, has the best instructors, best food, best ingredients, best preparation, and she still falls ill, and it all seems a bit pointless.

AIBU to feel this way? I just wonder whether I really should make an effort to watch what I eat and run when I don’t feel like it if really, what will be will be regardless.

A good video by David Spiegelhalter on relative versus absolute risks

YABU yes.

You live healthily to reduce your risks, no eliminate them

You also do it to live healthier for longer.

I’m in my 50s now and it really shows now on those who are inactive.

Perhaps (in general) if you're seeing healthy lifestyle as a big emotional drag and abstinence and sacrifice rather than something that works with you, then maybe it needs to be tweaked?

I try to get workarounds into my diet as I know I'm not really currently capable of sticking to 100% clean eating.

Not sure where I am health wise but normally do good for my age and I don't think I've massively missed out on anything.

• Healthy food - Broccoli in soup or with oyster sauce.

• For fibre, dahl. I sometimes can't bear raw fruit, especially if cold, so I stew apples. Oily fish - salmon is more expensive than mackerel, but frozen pieces and halve then. Water - I boil it and fill up a thermos with a bit of lemon. Bread - I get the 50/50 type so wholegrain but doesn't taste like it.

• Exercise - find one relaxing. If I'm not in a running routine (eg now) I do brisk walking to errands which builds up a sweat.

• Indulgences - there's opportunities for 60 main meals a month, if 4 of those are a steak with wine or a greasy takeaway does it really matter?

Better to do 60% ok and not feel stressed surely....

My lifestyle right now does not allow me to cook from scratch and clean eat (yes, there are some of those Microwavable burgers in my fridge).

So it's just punishing myself to try too hard.

I only read your fist post OP but I know what you are talking about. DH and I just chatted this morning that Kate’s diagnosis shows that all this is just unpredictable lottery and give you a bit of pointless feeling. It’s not true just the first reaction of course.

Nothing in life is guaranteed but you can mitigate risk to give yourself the best chance.

I've thought this too. I guess it just goes to show that cancer doesn't discriminate.

Eating healthily and exercising are not pointless at all. It can still prevent many illnesses.

I've got an illness and it can't be cured. OK, I don't eat amazingly but I've never smoked, drank to excess, taken drugs. It's bad luck. It happens. Saying that, there's clear evidence that if you smoke, stuff your face, take loads of drugs etc you are increasing your risk. If people are interested in the specific cancers (but it of course applies to many illnesses both physical and mental), they only need to look on the NHS website. So I think it's sensible to try and reduce risk.

Reduce the probability
Not prevent
There is a difference

True.

Thanks. I’ve lived a, what I considered to be, healthy lifestyle for years, and don’t find it a drag. It’s very rare I wouldn’t cook from scratch and I walk a lot.

The difference is that I’ve always subscribed to a whole food way of eating. Always used real butter, added a bit of cheese to frittatas, would always choose chicken thighs with skin along with vegetables, or 20% fat mince, rib eye steaks, full fat milk, but now I’m aware of the possibility of having genetics which may heighten the risk of heart disease, I am trying to choose lower fat options.

One thing that wouldn’t have helped Kate, is the amount of stress she has probably dealt with all this time. People think she has a privileged life, but she’s also the wife of the future king, the mother to the 2nd,3rd and 4th in line, and all the drama she has to put up with inside the RF, from the media and Harry and Meghan. She’s never once complained about anything and conducts herself impeccably. Now I think that poor Kate has absorbed all the above like a sponge, and look where it’s got her.

Back in Dec (I think) when Kate and Charles were being labelled racists, I actually said to my DH, there’s something going on in the background here because no one is coming out fighting to defend them/ Kate. Now we know they were awaiting their surgeries.

I think the amount of stress Kate has had to absorb hasn’t helped, and I feel ashamed to be British right now, and that this poor woman is now ill as a result of our obsession with her.

I'm in my mid sixties now, and looking back at my parents' generation, I can think of two who got lung cancer (on the maternal and paternal sides) from smoking. The rest of them, my own parents, aunts uncles, grandparents all lived to a good age and died of old age - like the late Queen is said to have died from too.

Back then funerals were largely of older folk and of course those who died in accidents. Nowadays it's everyone and anyone, many very young too, but maybe alcohol, drugs, and fast cars are involved in addition to cancers and other diseases.

It always strikes me that we had our parents and grandparents (and even great Granny Julia) forever, and I wonder if that will be the same for our kids now.

I'm trying to think what the difference is today, is it pollution, stress, UPF, chemicals in everything, what is it? Leaving aside the genetic component, as not all cancers have an explanation.

But should I stop buying sourdough bread with only a few natural ingredients, or should I just buy the Warburtons white sliced that I actually like more? Should I have just made the stir fry I ate, or should I have the fish finger sandwich with cheese that I would prefer? Should I have chosen the turkey when I went out for Sunday dinner or got the pork belly I’d have preferred? Keep choosing chicken breast when I want the leg with skin? Should I keep running every week when I don’t enjoy it and it’s a chore, or just do the Pilates I enjoy?

Isnt it about balance? Try and live a healthy lifestyle but don't become obsessed with it to the point its stressing you out- have some things you like but balance that with lots of veggies, oily fish, and other foods that are known to be good for your body.

With regards to white bread, I can only speak for myself but white bread and white carbs in general make me feel sluggish, bloated and tired so I avoid them. It's not because I am worried about cancer as such, it's more that I don't enjoy feeling tired, bloated and sluggish- listen to your body and how different diets make you feel. I love running so I do that and its great for my mental health as I feel fantastic afterwards so I do things that make me feel good- that they have a beneficial effect on long term health is a bonus. If you enjoy pilates then do that. There is no point forcing yourself to do things you hate but there are bound to be some exercise forms or some healthy foods that you enjoy so focus on the ones you do enjoy that are also good for you.

I also think stress is a huge part of illness- it raises cortisol levels and blood pressure and lowers the immune system so finding something like meditation or relaxation can also be good for that. You are focusing very much on cancer but these things make you feel good in the moment and on a day to day basis which is also hugely beneficial as noone likes feeling like crap.

Noone can guarantee you 100% you wont get ill but surely feeling your best possible self when you are well is preferable to feeling low level crap most of the time. Noone knows when our time is up but I'd rather feel the best I can during that time and enjoy the time I do have.

It's not pointless - your old age, if you get one, will be far more pleasant if you look after your body.

My DDad's just had a hip replacement on Thursday - today he's walking normally, without even crutches. The surgeon said he's doing so well because he stayed a healthy weight and, crucially, remained active.

If he'd let himself become an overweight, sedentary blob he'd likely be in a wheelchair, and unlikely to regain full strength for many months, possibly never.

If I get an old age, I want to enjoy it. And if I don't, I'll want to know I did everything I could to avoid dying young and leaving my little DS and DH.

Honestly I think eating whole foods is better than hunting down low fat versions. I eat butter - it is better than UP margarine.

Chicken thighs have more nutrients and are cheaper! We actually need fat to absorb vitamins from food. Full fat milk is good.

I think as a nation we were probably healthiest isn terms of eating in the post war period. Keep it all simple.

One thing to remember is that people have to die of something.
We are getting better at reducing the prevalence of certain diseases but that means that as people get older, other diseases may become more likely as people just get older.

Are you that ridiculous? If someone in a car accident died even though they were wearing a seatbelt would you promptly decide seatbelts were pointless?

There are no guarantees. There are ways to reduce risk.

A healthy lifestyle does help. However and I’ll probably get shot down for this, she’s always been worryingly underweight which I don’t think is healthy. Especially compared to how she looked when she was younger.

I was the healthiest person I knew before I got a brain tumour. I exercised 5 days a week, never ate junk food, didn't smoke, never drank booze. I lived that way because it made me feel good at the time, not as some guarantee of longevity.

There were a lot of arguments about seatbelts when they were first brought in - and people not understanding the data

When Americans Went to War Against Seat Belts (businessinsider.com)

There is so much more to healthy living than you have written. And as others said, you cant lessen the chance of getting cancer or other decease to zero.

Why be so rude?

This has definitely crossed my mind a few times in the last 24 hours, OP 😔

I've always struggled with low fat stuff as I tend to then eat more as I hate the taste of it and never feel satisfied. So no point.

I'm currently chucking chicken (with skin) into a pot of red lentil dahl. So I get the taste and also it's quite idiot proof to cook.

If you're concerned about heart disease, have you got your BP checked etc? (There may be other indicators, but I'm not sure what they are)

If there genuinely is an issue then you can make a plan but if it's ok then why worrying about committing to vile margarine when you want butter!

Or keep an olive oil spread AND some butter in your fridge? And have the butter on weekends or 3 days a week.