To think the PoW’s diagnosis makes healthy living seem pointless?

[Notsuretoputit]

I try my best to live heathily (although definitely not fanatical). I try and stay away from ultra processed foods, try and avoid saturated fat, too much meat etc., try and exercise every week. I’ll have the odd takeaway and definitely overindulge on wine, but always try and be mindful of living heathily because so much information is constantly battering me through the radio, media etc. about getting ill from various foods and not exercising.

I’ve recently lost my mother far too young too, so I suppose it’s particularly on my mind at the moment. But then you hear Kate’s diagnosis, who obviously exercises regularly, has the best instructors, best food, best ingredients, best preparation, and she still falls ill, and it all seems a bit pointless.

AIBU to feel this way? I just wonder whether I really should make an effort to watch what I eat and run when I don’t feel like it if really, what will be will be regardless.

I know people who ate takeaways everyday, smoked everyday etc and they lived well into their 90s. Just enjoy life however you want too.

I concur absolutely!

(Have just finished chemotherapy and experienced similar since the outset of my diagnosis. I loathe the idea the lexicon of cancer - fighting, battles, journey, warrior etc etc and have made it clear to those around me (inc. my GP) not to use these terms and that they're actually offensive, not positive. I come from a family with a lot of cancers, it was revealed that I have a rare double BCRA mutation - I have crap genes and regrettably, I was always going to get cancer. No amount of exercise, healthy eating, not smoking or drinking was going to change this.

Unless someone has been through cancer themselves, they really haven't a clue. It does not matter if your partner, child, parent or anyone else you know has cancer, you will won't fully comprehend it. Also, cancer is highly individual anyway. Two people might seemingly have the same cancer, but they might well have different causes, different treatments and different outcomes.

Should anyone on here be diagnosed with cancer. Step away from the internet. Do not google. Just talk to your consultant, GP and Macmillan. You don't need anyone else's advice. And one thing's for certain, ghoulish threads like this are a waste of everyone's time.

Anyone can get cancer. It is indiscriminate.

This is the bottom line.

I wouldn't say she was a picture of health. But 50 per cent of people in the uk get cancer, do you think they all lead unhealthy lifestyles

Thanks @SpaghettiWithaYeti 😊When I was diagnosed I asked the specialist what the cause might be and he said, “Bad luck.” Given how extraordinarily lucky I’ve been in almost every other aspect of my life, I can hardly complain.

The good news is that, while the treatment, the fear and the uncertainty are all completely shit, there’s still a very good chance that this cancer won’t be the thing that kills me. I’m still recovering from my most recent treatment just now, living very much day by day, but I’m getting ready to make plans to live my absolute best life from now on. To be true to myself, and to live more for myself than for other people (DCs partially excepted). To figure out what I want and to do that for myself!

I do think stress can be a factor in some cancers - or one of the many ‘switches’. I was diagnosed after the most stressful period of my life. Could be a coincidence. Following my diagnosis I’ve changed my job and do everything I can to keep my stress levels as low as possible (which I know is hard).

It is probably something so complicated like stress affects your immune system (T cells?) The ‘killer cells’ that hunt down and kill cancer cells floating around in us. We all have them but in most of us our immune system kills them off.

I know treatments have kind of come a long way but I really wish we had something better then chemo! Yes I was told it takes 10 years off your life (great). It’s so brutal. Come on cancer research and all that money. Can’t we come up with something better?

If you do all that stuff, your chances of developing certain diseases increase.

I don't think that's too hard a concept to understand.
It's not a binary situation.

Apart from a couple of instances, the people I have known with cancer have been pretty clean or very clean-living. I know the argument is 'it can happen to anyone' but, in my observation, the diagnosis can feel extra bitter and harder to come to terms with when you've tried to do everything right.

Living healthily is no guarantee. Cancer, can be lifestyle related but often isn't. I know people who did all the right things and still got cancer. Either way it is unpredictable. And tough.

Having said that, I'm 70 and superfit. I work out and eat a healthy diet. If I didn't I might be as morbid as my neighour who is the same age. its very sad to watch her deteriorate over years.

FFS.

Question.

Are you PoW's doctor? If you're not, it's not for you to say that her NOT being absolutely fine are extremely slim.

While PoW might have chemo in a private hospital, it will still be administered in the same way as NHS patients chemo. (I know this because my mother had private healthcare and was treated at The London Clinic).

Am leaving this thread now, it is making me angry and stressed. And stress is something that can feed cancer.

How do we know she's healthy. Because she's very slim? For all we know she could be smoking 50 a day to suppress her appetite, or restricting calories in a harmful way etc. you can't tell someone's health by how they look.

@Delatron Stress is the trigger for many things. It pushed me into a premature menopause and have no doubt it played a part in my cancer. All the doctors I have seen since my diagnosis have stressed (ha ha) the importance of not getting stressed.

Kate has cancer. It's entirely possible she won't be fine at all. Wealth brings a lot of privileges, but it doesn't cure cancer.

Hate to break it to you, OP, but 👀 everyone dies and everyone dies of something.

Living well improves your chances if you do develop something and reduces your chances of succumbing to certain illness but, as far as I'm aware, no one has achieved immortality yet.

Lots of cancers are not caused by living an unhealthy lifestyle, most in fact (we think, given the information we have at present anyway). But then lots of diseases and problems in older people are caused by an unhealthy lifestyle, so why would you want to increase the chances of getting ill and infirm? Giving up the exercise is a particularly bad idea, that's pretty guaranteed to lead to frailty in old age. Do you want to be a frail old lady? I don't.

In fairness, one of my work colleagues is as slim as Kate, but she's also only in her 20's and looks absolutely beautiful and healthy. I was shocked to hear she has numerous very serious chronic illnesses that meant she spent prolonged periods of time in hospital and is constantly being monitored by doctors. I would never have guessed in a million years by how amazing she looks.

This too. Being slim doesn't mean she is healthy in every way, we don't know (and it doesn't really matter, it goes without saying that your lifestyle may reduce but doesn't completely eliminate the risk of cancer anyway).

So many people (especially on MN) equate slim with healthy.

You can definitely help yourself by avoiding the really stupid things like smoking and sunbeds.

DH's family members have mainly lived to a ripe old age (MIL died at 94).

BUT those who smoked have ALL got cancer. Admittedly his dad was 80 when he died of lung cancer, but his aunt died in her 40s and his brother in his 50s. Smoking plus his family genes do not mix well.

Also, a healthy lifestyle helps to avoid other conditions such as heart disease and strokes. You may not be able to do anything about genes, but you can do something about your lifestyle and to some extent environment (if you can afford it, though some macro issues such as pollution and microplastics are difficult to avoid).

I don't believe Kate is, or ever has been, a smoker, excepting a few cigarettes at drunken parties at university maybe.

I know that. As I said, my mother died recently far too young.

I do not want to die suddenly in my very early 60s of heart disease of which I am, and was contemplating how much lifestyle choices really affect the outcome.

Thank you for your rude and insensitive comment though.

Exactly this. Although of course I very much hope that she (and obviously anyone who’s ill) will make a full recovery.

During my initial treatment a few people said to me that they knew I was going to be fine. I just thought well I’m glad you have a crystal ball! And as it turned out, they didn’t 😂

I do feel like this sometimes. PoW didn't trigger this, partially cause I have no idea of her lifestyle. I remember when a close friend had a stroke in her 30's. I eat lunch with her every day and have had several dinners and talk a lot. Never meat a healthier person. That made mee feel like what's the point.

My mum had a stroke and died in her late 40s. She smoked and enjoyed a sherry or 2 everyday.

Who knows if that caused her stroke or if it was something else? But data shows that smoking and alcohol does increase the chances of a stroke.

I don't smoke. I could still have a stroke but I know that the chances of me having one are reduced by not smoking.

I know I should be eating more fruit and vegetables. More fibre.

@Notsuretoputit I’m so sorry for your loss.

My personal thoughts are: do your best to minimise your risk, while knowing that there are no guarantees. You still have to remember to look both ways when you cross the road 😉 And if you love your Warburton’s white sliced then remember that a little of what you fancy does you good. Be sure to indulge your vices now and then, with no guilt whatsoever!

Some people seem to think that living healthily is not worth the effort because 'Kate did all that and still got cancer'.

Cancer can be unpredictable. But eating healthily and working out will still stand you in good stead even if you were to develop cancer.

My Dad has been an alcoholic for the last 40 or so years. Drank several bottles of whisky a week. Also a huge foody, we are talking fried breakfasts, pasties, pork pies, cakes, sweets, chips, huge takeaways....eating probably up to 5000 cals a day. He's 82 with no illnesses. It's unfathomable to me that his body has coped with the level of abuse it has.

My previous boss was the healthiest person I know, she did tennis, dancing, zumba, running etc, every day, and is super thin - yet she still had a heart attack in her 50's (recovered thankfully)

So yes, a lot of it is genetics. So to my mind, sure eat healthy and exercise, if you enjoy it, but accept that none of that will stop you getting cancer, and life is for living. There is no point in not having treats - it won't save you.