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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to be so glad it blew up in their face

85 replies

Sniksnaksnoram · 22/03/2024 16:56

DH was in a middle management role (c60k so mid/ high) but was getting bullied by the his manager, taking credit for his work, rumours, jibes, constant negative feedback downplaying positive, basically actively trying to manage him out.

it broke him, I mean nervous wreck, had a break down. That got used against him and tried to force him out. After months he managed to secure another role in the same company and he’s just gone from strength to strength and it’s been so lovely to see. Nominated for an award, even still being new in that team and just found out he won! (I know it’s largely arbitrary but still) and today the bonuses revealed. His old boss tried to say he didn’t qualify for one ‘due to his attitude and performance’ but the new one is just so happy with how he is, they pushed back and he got the full bonus amount.

it’s not about the money, so I don’t want to seem like I’m bragging but his old manager did everything in his power to try and hurt DH, mentally, professionally and financially and I’m so glad it’s blown up in his face.

don’t really have anyone to say this irl too, aside from dh but I’m just so so glad there is some justice / karma in the universe. And by trying to hurt him, his ex boss actually benefited him In the long run.

OP posts:
Gettingonmygoat · 22/03/2024 19:10

Success is the best form of revenge. Well done to your Husband.

Crowgirl · 22/03/2024 19:10

Yay congratulations! What a warm fuzzy joy tale to kick off the weekend with.

JudgeJ · 22/03/2024 19:13

BobbyBiscuits · 22/03/2024 17:04

Good. I'm pleased he's got a new role where he's appreciated. Did he ever have any concrete grounds to make a complaint against this ex manager? Or find if others have been bullied by them? I guess he's best out of it but I feel sorry for the people stuck with that situation.
I had a manager who seemed like she would do anything to put me down and never admit to her own failings. She finally got demoted for bullying someone else much more popular than me.

That's the outcome I was hoping for a the OP, a bit like when someone overtakes in a dangerous place I want to see them in a ditch a mile down the road.

EmmaEmerald · 22/03/2024 19:14

That is fantastic news! I am so pleased for him. The damage done by workplace bullies is enormous. I think it's brilliant that he's not just overcome it, but basically slapped the bully in the face with a wet fish too. Wish it could be done literally!

Daleksatemyshed · 22/03/2024 19:15

I'm so pleased for you both, your DH's deep unhappiness must have had a profound effect on both of you. Some people really are shit, they can't stand anyone doing well but it's backfired on his bully- I very much hope someone at his work will start to put two and two together and work out this was never your DH's fault.
£9k is a very nice amount, I hope you'll both do something lovely with it

Seashor · 22/03/2024 19:18

That’s a great story. I’m so pleased for him and you. I hope you both raise a glass this evening.

Oopsadaisysgranny · 22/03/2024 19:20

Fantastic a win for the oppressed at work . My son suffers from the same type of problem in his job so really happy to hear the underdog rising to the top

Monkeyfloor · 22/03/2024 19:20

That’s put such a big smile on my face.
Kudos to your other half for making this happen. May it long continue…

roseinthedark · 22/03/2024 19:23

Beautiful news. Thank you for sharing. I am glad he is out of that situation and surrounded by people who can see the goodness in him, not least, what sounds like, a wonderful wife. 💕

pimplebum · 22/03/2024 19:23

I can relate I have just transferred from a boss who made me feel like was a whisker away from being sacked I was so terrible, to new boss who I am flourishing under

Hope your oh goes from strength to strength

MCOut · 22/03/2024 19:30

This was so nice to read OP, congratulations to your husband! Hopefully senior leadership will recognise his malicious bullying for what it was so he can face some consequences.

Cocothecoconut · 22/03/2024 19:39

Congratulations to your DH

sandalsinthebin · 22/03/2024 19:39

Well done your DH. Well done you for being such a proud and supportive partner. And just fuck off to the little bully who he's left in the dust.

KitKatChunki · 22/03/2024 19:44

Had a similar feeling after moving DD from a school where she was being physically bullied really badly and the school was doing nothing. They told me if I wanted her not to be in with the bully she would have to do down a level for Maths because the bully was better, even though DD should be in the top set. We ended up moving DD and the new school has done wonders for her. She's now getting top grades for 7 of the subjects and top grades for effort and has been getting house points for all subjects with the teachers raving about her attitude to learning. She's gone from a nervous and unsure girl probably on target for 6's and 7's at GCSE to taking 11 subjects and getting 9-7's in all of them. The old school just has a girl who might get a 9 for maths but was rubbish at most other subjects and pulled a large amount of her classmates mental health down.

It's nice to feel vindicated, especially when the choices others made had such negative effects on people we love.

TheWernethWife · 22/03/2024 20:07

I worked with a bully. She was shagging the boss and used to swan in at all times, hair and nails done.

Moonshine5 · 22/03/2024 20:09

Congratulations to you both, love great news like this

gamerchick · 22/03/2024 20:22

Ah that's properly awesome OP, you'll get some of the good loving in the near future Grin good for him.

MagpieCastle · 22/03/2024 20:54

The lovely thing is this isn’t just karma. It’s actually a testament to your DH’s resilience, fortitude and ability to thrive in a new team. He should be so proud of himself and how he’s handled a really difficult situation.

The horrible manager tried to break him and didn’t succeed so is probably feeling quite vulnerable now. Hope the future holds only good things for you both. You bested a bully!

PyongyangKipperbang · 22/03/2024 20:56

Pombearprincess · 22/03/2024 18:00

Congratulations to your DH. Lets hope that the drop in the horrible managers brilliance also gets noticed now they can no longer take the credit for DH's work.

That could well be the reason that he tried to kibosh the bonus, as a revenge for the fact that his department is no longer performing as it should, and questions are being asked.

Wayk · 22/03/2024 20:58

Delighted for your husband. The bully will have egg on his lovely face😀

Fannyfiggs · 22/03/2024 21:01

Huge congratulations to your DH and I'm so sorry he (and you) had to go through that.

Bullies are the scum of the earth. I hope something is done about him so he can't do that to anyone else.

purplepandas · 22/03/2024 21:07

This is lovely news, so pleased for you and your husband!

MeridianB · 22/03/2024 21:08

Thanks for sharing this, @Sniksnaksnoram

Sadly, I think those awful behaviours are far too common. Your DH did the right thing by getting out from under it. I hope this company gets rid of the bad apples soon. And your DH should celebrate his success! 🍾

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 22/03/2024 21:09

That is really great news, I'm so pleased for you both.

It just goes to show that bullies do not have the power that they believe they do. Your husband's strength and will to succeed in the new role overcame all.

I expect the bully is feeling pretty invalidated and he could find his own conduct being looked into; it should be.

Applesonthelawn · 22/03/2024 21:14

Well done to your DH and thanks for sharing this. It is so nice to hear how someone persevered and it all came out great in the end - it will give heart to others in similar situations I hope.